My Badass Burrito!

Hey y'all.
 
I love tacos and tortillas in general and some would argue that the burrito is nothing more than a bigass taco.
 
I pity the fool that believes that.
 
The way I see it the good people of Mexico invented it and gave it to us. Muchas gracias.
 
Today the burrito as we know it has evolved from its humble beginnings.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burrito
 
To call it a taco is just wrong. Its bigger. Its badder. It has a shit-ton(official SoFlo measurement) of stuff in it. Taco's are small and dainty. Ever seen a taco the size of a 3 year old toddler's leg?
 
And what does that mean for chile heads and THP?
 
Simple. 
 
You can put a whole lot more of hot stuff in it or serve it up "wet" and on top.
 
And who doesn't like a bigass burrito? NOBODY.
 
Especially peep's that   and you know who you are.
 
So bring it y'all.
 
I want to see a BIGASS BURRITO!
 
Make it  the size of the Alaskan Pipeline.
 
Load the hell out of it.
 
And bring the spiceenescxt!
 
 
Here's what I got.
 
MY BIGASS BURRITO!
 
I got it goin' on with red potato's in olive oil with garlic, onion, and fresno chile.
 

Then I got some other sheeit ready.
 

Then I whooped out a bigass sun dried tomato tortilla and started loading it up. Don't even think of calling it a wrap!
 

 
Get some scheeze on there.
 

 
Now roll that 'thang up. It should be the size of a house cat or a baby's torso.
 

 
You wanna' know what I did next?
 
I microwaved it!
 
Then I cut it in half and mouth fisted it!
 

 
I was full after eating just half of it.
 
But the bigass burrito was ALIVE and talking dirty to me.
 
I HAD to eat it all.
 
Afterwards, I drank another hosky and went to bed.
 
I farted fairy dust and moonbeams in my sleep all night long.
 
 
Now y'all.
 
BRING YOUR BIGASS BURRITO!
 
 
UPDATE.
 
Due to the popularity of the thread I am changing the thread title to My Badass Burrito.
 
Simply to include ALL burrito's, not just BIGASS.
 
 

 

[grantmichaels]

Here come a poem about Marathon Key in 3...2...


... or Clearwater.

 

[texas blues]

Or Tampa/St.Pete.
 
Guilty as charged.
 
 
I need a pillow.
 
I'm old ya' know.

 

[Ashen]

I am not a fan of flour Tortilla 's generally but I was hungry when I came home from work and there were two left in the package and some leftover chicken  so I did some dirty things with those biatches 
 
notice only one in picture cause the other was scarfed down already..   toasted those torts on the CI comal and then melted shredded cheese directly on the CI,  once it was smelty and almost fried, I put the torts on there and pushed and twisted until all the smelty fried cheese stuck to them  . you can kind of see it on the top right hand side, fried cheese goodness.    Then grilled up  onions, red peppers, chicken, tomato , hab powder  on that Comal and    into the tortillas with that last of my Burner Scotch Bonnet sauce.  
 
Somewhat wierd ass but it worked for me. 
 
 

 

[LUCKYDOG]

That sure is purty Ashen - 

 

[grantmichaels]

That would work for me, too.
 
Looks good.

 

[texas blues]

Ash that looks hot blue & got dang righteous!
 
And not weird at all senor.
 
Thats just damn good food!
 
And it just goes to show...
 
You just can't beat a hot piece of cast iron or solid steel for a cooking platform.
 
Have mercy!

 

[JayT]

Smoked chicken, ripe jalapeno, monterey jack cheese, Bonesuckin hot sauce.
Probably not a true burrito since I baked it, but it was a goodernell chingaderra thingy anyway.

 

[Scovie]

If you smoked the chicken in the oven, then and only then would it be a TRUE "oven burrito".

I'd eat it.

And I'd love it.

 

[JayT]

But alas, I actually smoked it in my smoker, with charcoal, and mesquite.

 

[texas blues]

I don't eat much chicken.
 
Maybe twice a year.
 
But I can be bought.
 
I reckon Jay's smoked chix burrito would set me right.
 
And that 'thang is beggin' for avo's and cheapass Pace picante.
 
And some crema splooge of some sort.
 
Lime, chipotle, ranchero....don't matter.
 
I'm cool and the gang like that.

 

[grantmichaels]

... cheapass Pace picante.



that's what we like!

 

[texas blues]

that's what we like!

 
I once had a dream about a woman who was the perfect woman.
 
She had perfect boobs and nips.
 
The right one squirted Pace Picante that also tasted like it had chips in it.
 
The othern' squirted cold beer.
 
Talk about a party!

 

[tctenten]

I once had a dream about a woman who was the perfect woman.
 
She had perfect boobs and nips.
 
The right one squirted Pace Picante that also tasted like it had chips in it.
 
The othern' squirted cold beer.
 
Talk about a party!

I need to live in your world.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Got milk? Oh chips and dip? kewl

 

[texas blues]

Got milk? Oh chips and dip? kewl

 
Senor.
 
You want this.
 
Who on the planet can resist chips and dip of any kine'?
 
Nobody.
 
Fact is...
 
I reckon that at least 95% of all peep's are double dipper's.
 
They just don't get caught.

 

[grantmichaels]

tb - duck.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

I reckon that at least 95% of all peep's are double dipper's.
 
They just don't get caught.

Double dippin double D's. Queso please.

(Jay post that pic u know the one.)

 

[JayT]

I don't have that one, I think Scovie does though.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Quseo lips.

 

[JayT]

Yeah I know the one.