The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[habaneroheat81]

I LOVE THE WAY YOUR LOAF OF MEAT LOOKS!!

 

[Scovie]

SicMeat

 

[sicman]

sicmeat i like that! I AM SIC MEAT here me roar!!

 

[RocketMan]

I shall call this

What do you mean this is diet food?

Well this is how we do it in the FloPo. Starting off with some nice lean Pork Loin Chops. Marinated for 30 minutes in a Mesquite and Fatalli marinade and then into the CI with some Olive Oil.

While they are browning trim and cut up a head of Cauliflower and add to a pot of salted water and boil till tender.

At the same time take some sweet onion and garlic and saute them til the onion is translucent.

After the chops have browned on both sides place the CI into a 350 degree F oven for 30 minutes.

When the onions are translucent add a bag of baby spinich for every 2 people dining.

and the juice of half a lemon

Now I like to cook with Wine. Sometimes I even add some to the food...

When the Cauliflower is tender add butter, Salt and Fresh Ground Black Pepper (Sorry G)

This is how I grind mine.

Hang in there, Part 2 is coming after someone else posts.

 

[frydad4]

LOL!!!! Great pepper grinder!!!!!

I can't wait to see where this goes!
RM always brings it to the DC!!!!

FLOPO FO SHO!!!!! Damn skippy!!

 

[RocketMan]

Part 2:

and mash like they're potatoes

Spinich should look like this when ready.

Now just sprinkle with some good Fetta Cheese cause Everythign is betta with Fetta

and serve.

Pork Chop

Cauliflower

Spinach sauted in Olive Oil with onion, garlic and Fetta Cheese

So what do you mean this is Diet food?

Edit: Sorry about the blurry pics, gotta do something about this Iphone camera

 

[HopsNBarley]

That meatloaf is lookin proper Sic! Balancing the Vodka on the bicep is points ++++++

Lookin good RM.. Love me some smashed up cauliflower.
Feta makes it betta? Hell yes it does.
That meal looks on point dude.

 

[Chile Juju]

I'm so sorry.....but my DC goggles just got a bit fuzzy.....

I want to be liking what I'm seeing....but my seeing ain't so goood,,,just sayin'.....

and yet...having such a great time!!!!!!

 

[SumOfMyBits]

The "everything is blurry infront of me, yet I'm aware of everything that is going on around me" pics really tell the story Rocket. Perfect for this thread.

Fist bumps FloPo Bro.

 

[RocketMan]

Funny, those pics were in focus last night......

Must be the damn Solar Flares, yeah, that's the ticket! Solar Flares!

 

[sicman]

i love some pork chops ,we have a old coffee grinder like that rocket man. way to keep it real home boy

 

[texas blues]

I'm just blind enough to see that RM has some hot blue and righteous greazin' goin' on. Outstanding!

 

[P.K.]

Sic, damn now I’m hunger for meatloaf, and extra points for the vodka balancing act.

RM, nice, I’ll have to try the mashed cauliflower, it looks delish.

SO here is my New Mex themed concoction from last night.

Ingredients; Green Chile Chicken sausage, a bag of fresh roasted green chile, green chile beer, and the spices and 3 cloves roasted garlic are missing.

Sweet potato fries dredged thru, 2 parts corn starch, 2 parts conf. sugar, and 1 part flower, been trying different methods to get crisp sweet potato fries, this one worked rather well and wasn’t too sweet.

Sausage, 2 Chile Cerveza, ½ an onion, 1 jalapeno, 3 cloves roasted garlic, and fresh cracked black pepper, was reduced by ½ to 2/3.

Beer, veggies and sausage juice, into small sauce pan, with a pinch of roasted cumin, oregano, and basil. Next comes a game I call hide the onion.

Just a tip for those who use stick blenders, simply cut a cross into a paper plate.

You can see the mess it would have made.

Continued

Part two.

Sauce post hide the onion, I think this actually made the sauce better. I reduced the sauce further over low heat.

Fries ready for deep fryer, post 20 min wait.

Sausages ready to come out of the oven. I would have liked to do these on the grill but it was windy as hell, the air was full of sand, and sandy food doesn’t make good eats! P.S. 500 ̊F oven temp.

Sauce with green chile added and heated thru.

$hot. Added the cheese and tossed under the broiler to melt. A thin layer of mayo on the bottom to seal it and keep it from getting soggy, with 2 dried Fataliis for flavor and heat. I wanted to make a nice chipotle mayo to dip the sweet potato fries in but,

 

[texas blues]

Bang a gong, get it on PK!! That's some righteous gettin' down brown! Boat motor shield is genius!

 

[muskymojo]

Damn PK, it's too bad that last pic didn't show up in your post. I just got done eating, but I would eat that right now!

My wife wanted to go out for wings tonight, but the Minnesota State High School Hockey Tournament is on TV, so I made some at home.

I usually grill wings at home in an attempt to be healthy, but it's cold and windy out there. And like I said, there's some damn good hockey on TV...so into the hot oil they go!

Done frying, and ready for some sauce

All sauced up From left to right: Frank's Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce, Green Mill's Diablo Sauce, and my own nuclear concoction

And time to chow down!

 

[3/5King]

Nice wings Mr. Mojo. Those red sauces really pop in the pics....mmmmman do I want to sat them up.

 

[JayT]

Wow! Lots of good eats going on here yesterday. I'd love a plate of each please.

 

[sicman]

i love wings one of mu favorite foods. those wings look great.

 

[muskymojo]

Thanks guys. Me too sicman. I could eat wings every day of the week!

 

[JayT]

I just bought a four pound bag of wings because of your post MM. Thanks.