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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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Okay I know there's not too many vegetarians on here but here's my drunken coconut curry. It's best to drink quickly while cooking to help stimulate the ability to haphazardly toss peppers into the pan and be intoxicated enough to eat anything by the time it's ready.

Crappy cel phone pics:

The ingredients: What I had on hand. Tofu, coconut milk, huy fong sriracha (or "hot cock" as my gf calls it), chile pequin flakes, fresh ginger, onion (would normally use green onions but only had half a yellow one lying around), bhut jolokia powder, fresno peppers, serrano peppers, something sold to us as "korean peppers", green curry powder, brown sugar, carrots, potatoes, cauliflower, soy sauce, tomatoes

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What it looked like after sauteing onions in a bit of oil and adding the coconut milk, ginger, brown sugar, curry powder, splash of soy sauce and sriracha, dash of salt and starting to add the potatoes:

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simmering after adding all the potatoes and carrots:

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After letting the potatoes and carrots simmer for a bit I added cauliflower, 3 fresno peppers, 3 serrano peppers, 3 korean peppers

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"dash" of chile pequin flakes:

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Added "a pinch" of bhut jolokia powder:

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Just about ready to go. Tofu was fried separately and added a few minutes before serving:

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Let's eat! Not a fancy presentation. Served over brown rice. That's naan bread. Normally I like to top it off with some fresh onion greens but didn't have any so... (disregard the bits of cauliflower and pepper all over the counter... drunken chefs are sloppy chets sometimes)

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DS, even though normally I would deride you for making hippy food but really there is just too much WIN going on there. Anchor Steam for one, the use of pequins (my favorite) for another, and also the dish itself. Love me some cauliflower.

I hereby declare your grubbage, hot blue and righteous.
 
Lunch: Turkey pastrami with munster and horseradish mustard on marble rye grilled cheese style, with a glass of Jeremiah Weed.

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Jay if licking that slab of bacon didn't get the healthy out of your mind, so long and that sammie was toasted with real butter I think you've accomplished your mission. Well done sir!

and I'b slam on that currie too!
 
texas blues said:
DS, even though normally I would deride you for making hippy food but really there is just too much WIN going on there. Anchor Steam for one, the use of pequins (my favorite) for another, and also the dish itself. Love me some cauliflower.

I hereby declare your grubbage, hot blue and righteous.
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Well my gf is vegetarian bordering on vegan so I find myself cooking hippy food fairly often. She doesn't care if I eat deep fried bacon by the handful but it's too much trouble making seperate meals when we're together so I've been exploring asian and indian food. Some vegetarian stuff is actually pretty tasty. Curries are my favorite in general but there are others I enjoy like falafel, saag aloo, fried rice, etc.

Normally I would have included other things in the curry like snow peas, bell pepper, maybe some mushrooms but after a few beers I wasn't going to drive to the store to pick up more ingredients so I used what I had on hand. I ate leftovers last night (sober) and it was spicy and delicious. A lot of people don't like the sweetness of a coconut based curry but I find it rich and filling and the fat content satisfies the carnivore in me.

I ate fired pork loin chops, eggs, and potatoes smothered in cheese and Holy Jolokia sauce moments ago. I'm nowhere close to being vegetarian or vegan lol.

P.S. - That's Anchor Porter but I love the Anchor Steam as well.
 
No, I am using a hot chicken rub I made up, and D'ELidas Picante Chombo. Its a habanero sauce from Panama that was sent to me for review. Four pounds just 'cause I can.

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I was disappointed with the pics. They actually taste WAY better than they look. I used a homemade chicken rub which included a whole lotta crap that I can't remember right now, but think Montreal Chicken Rub only much hotter and with some paprika and sugar of some sort in it. The sauce is a good one and I just submitted the review to THP for approval so watch for it. They were smoked over mesquite and charcoal for about three hours. Yummm. First time out for the smoker this year. Feels good to grill and smoke in March. God bless global warming.
 
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