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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Click to expand...
:rofl: !!!!!  You guys crack me up!
 
 
 
Some day, JayT, Some day...I'll even spot you the Mason Jar....  And right back at you if I'm on the eastern side of the Mississippi! 
 
 
Scovie,  Love that Adult Juice Box!  (one of the boxboys and Hank's called it that recently.  :lol: )
 
 
elcap- I'm with ya, we can't eat pasta like we used to and want to, but once in a while...It's worth the splurge. 
 
"Animal style" fries. Always had a wet dream for In-n-out after seeing pictures of their stuff, but here ofcourse the place doesn't exist. So found a recipe online and decided to try it.  Having never had an actual In-n-out animal style sauce, I got no idea how it's "supposed" to taste, but apparently it is similar to 1000 Island dressing (which I never actually tried either lol)
 
DSC01163_zpsc0e80f78.jpg

 
DSC01168_zps6f2bd5b0.jpg

 
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Have some leftover sauce, so added some diced Jalapenos, cayenne, hot sauce and lemon juice to it ready for me after work tonight.
 
Geez Louise HK!
 
You just smacked down some serious biz kung fu with those animal style fries.
 
You NAILED IT!
 
Its funny, here in Texas most Texan's are still not familiar with INO's not so secret menu of which animal style fries are part of.
 
Seems every time I pickup my tray with animal style fries and try cutting through the crowd to my table there's
 
all kind of finger pointing and oooh's and aaaah's and "whoa dude! WTF is that?"
 
Yours look killer!
 
oooops.
 
OMG!
 
SCHWING!
 
Thanks bro! Round 2 tonight, this time I added some lemon juice, hot sauce, cayenne and diced pickled japs to the left over sauce. Off  to give the fries the oil bath now as the empty beer bottles multiply like rabbits in heat :D 
 
HK that looks goodern' hell!
 
One 'thang I'll tell you about INO fries is that they cut them fresh and you can even watch them doing it.
 
But there is a love/hate 'thang going on with them. 
 
Unless eaten hot out of the fryer they go cold and limp very fast and thus the hate.
 
The love is that you can ask for well done and they'll be crispy.
 
While they don't fry in stages to get the ultimate side of fries, when cooked their way well done, they're
 
better than average and hold up dang guud when going animal style on 'em.
 
Now we come to your fries...
 
Sure they're store bought out of a bag but...
 
They're also thicker!
 
Which I reckon holds the heat longer and possibly stand up to the sauce a little better.
 
Your choice of cheese is also better.
 
INO uses regular old american style cheese slices.
 
Its great for burgers and is okay for animal style fries but just okay.
 
Once it cools off it takes on the usual plastic appearance and texture.
 
Yours looks superior.
 
Having said that, the INO Animal Style Fries are still damn incredibly awesome as the sum is much greater than the parts.
 
HK you're on to something now and its got me thinkin' (always a bad thing)
 
I reckon if I were to do my own animal style fries I'd lean more in the direction of a queso/tex-mex style cheese sauce rather 
 
than just cheese by itself.
 
But then how do you keep the queso/sauce from combining with the animal splooge?
 
Somehow they need to be in there but separate at the same time.
 
I may have to look into the matter and conduct some scientific 'speriments.
 
BBQ and Italian is always a good idea. Pulled pork pizza anyone?
 
Nice.
 
It would be nice to see this thread restored to its former glory. Nova, as penance for your absence, you go first.
 
texas blues said:
Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
Click to expand...
 
Yeah I know.
 
The rules have been relaxed somewhat on the actual drunk aspect of posting.
 
Even though a booze pic is required it is however difficult to ascertain exactly how much booze has been consumed at the time.
 
I can say with all integrity that I have complied with the original rules at least 99% of the time.
 
Just ask Jay to dig up a pic of my garage.
 
I got witnesses.
 
I can say that I saw a minimum of thirty beer boxes piled up in there. Bud light swill if I recall. I can also say that if it is night and I cooking outside of the restaurant I drunk on some level, pics or no pics.
 
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