The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[frydad4]

Hey ALY! 
Hold your drunk ass finger on the button until you hear a 'beep', then push it the rest of the way. 
 
Jeebus. 
 
You're killing me. 
 
That food looks great and I can't enjoy it because you have all the wrong shit in focus. 
 
(sometimes you just have to talk to people like that...I don't mean it) 
 
carry on!

 

[Rairdog]

Here goes.....the dough after 2 hours in the Zo

Meat


The spread


The roll...and pinch


That was my last onion on the board....fuchinstiem from last year.  The knife is garlic freshly picked garlic.  I can never get the timing right to not run out!

Crispy outside and chewy inside...yum inside

 

[grantmichaels]

I would devour that right now.

Mouthfist, even.

 

[tctenten]

Looks great. Would love a couple of slices for lunch.

 

[LUCKYDOG]

Looks great and +1 with GM mouthfisting in order

 

[Alynne]

Hell ya!

 

[frydad4]

This chicken's fucked.
 

 

[grantmichaels]

I see The Scream face, or whatever those movies were ...

Just try to relax little birdie ...

 

[Alynne]

"You'll just feel a little pinch"

 

[frydad4]

Lemon pepper adobo with rosemary and thyme. The heat's gonna come later with the sauce, I have some habs and fresh mangos that are going to do something nasty together really soon! I'm thinking mango/hab bbq sauce.
Got the vortex in deflector shield mode. 
 

 

[grantmichaels]

#vortex #gameface

 

[sicman]

looking good. Next time any of yall are feeling crazy. Try it with Dr.Pepper. Very good. There a little secret I share,your welcome

 

[frydad4]

Crispy.
 

 

[frydad4]

Beer can chicken is awesome. 
Made a mango bbq sauce with fresh mango, apple cider vin, habanero, ketchup, worcestershire, yellow mustard, probably something else too, I don't know, but it was sweet and hot!
Pulled the chicken breast (wankey) and tossed it in the sauce. 
Had a bunch of cans of BL...needed some inspiration for what to do with it, so I looked in the freezer. 
TJ's Garlic Naan. Shredded Mozz. Make it melty under the broil and serve. 
Boom. Someone grab me another cold one!
 
Chicken, mango, hab

 

 

 
FD

 

[The Hot Pepper]

SoFlo cooking season has begun. These dudes hibernate in the winter which I don't get... but good to see you cooking!

 

[frydad4]

Bear is the only one who hibernates. 
 
Shit, Sum, I think he's still down. Might need to nudge him a little....I'm a little concerned. 

 

[texas blues]

Got damn.
 
I said GOT DAMN!
 
Who else could do such a 'thang?
 
Japanese hosky.
 
Beer can chix.
 
Mangos.
 
Garlic naan.
 
Schredded mozz.
 
Full on man taco right there.
 
Riddle me this Batman.
 
Why is SoFlo so fucking good all the fucking time?
 
My riff on it is that SoFLo is like the hottest blonde that keeps sayin' no.
 
But really means yes.
 
And then begs for it.
 
And then after...
 
Slaps you across the face like your mama did when you got outta' line at the grocery store.

 

[grantmichaels]

Now he likes chicken, and Indian ...

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Now he likes chicken, and Indian ...

The TB is an enigma wrapped in a tortilla.

 

[texas blues]

The TB is an enigma wrapped in a tortilla.

 
Signature worthy senor.
 
I reckon that is me.
 
I like to be liking tortilla strangeness.