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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Pepperfreak said:

meal looks great!! but at 1st fast glance I thought you had a drink thats labeled "gringo " :lol:


ImpyChick said:

never had beer cheese soup so my opinion of is null an void about it.
but that boulevard beer I have tried & that is some nasty shit!!!!!!! will never buy it again!!
 
ok this is my take of hot wings. I use legs cuz they're cheaper & healthier than wings plus more meat on them.
fried in the 5 qt CI, then dipped in sauce & oven baked.
sauce was BWW caribbean jerk, busha browne's jerk sauce, 2 heaping teaspoons of jamacian hot chocolate powder.
not as hot as JT's wings but no chilehead would turn them down for heat & taste!

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CH those wings...I mean legs look lip smack'n, finger lick'n delicious! If I wasn't so full from eating my jumbo poppers, I'd say pass a couple my way.
 
Cool CH, but why do you think legs are healthier than wings? Because dark meat has more nutrients? White has less calories. Really it's all just chicken.
 
thehotpepper.com said:
Cool CH, but why do you think legs are healthier than wings? Because dark meat has more nutrients? White has less calories. Really it's all just chicken.


read the nut. stats. on the back! & compare wings vs legs.
legs cost less price per pound, more meat plus a little healthier for you than wings.
doesnt matter what cooking method cuz more fat will always have more fat! that would be wings (fat)
from now on I'm cooking legs instead of wings.
 
Alllllllrighty!!!

Had WAY too much beer....so bare with me! This may take a few minutes to get all these photos up....

TONIGHT, Tim and I made two seperate dishes...and I must say, really have absolutely NOTHING to do with each other! However, once we started eating, I was either too drunk to care, OR it wasn't a bad combo after all.

Our glorious mess of scrambled ingredients:

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Tim's contribution was southwestern "egg" rolls. These naughty little beasties are filled with black beans, chicken, my firecracker corn, onions, and monterey jack cheese:

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Looks pretty cool!

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dot dot dot.....
 
My part was a merlot beef onion soup with baby-bellas, and bacon.....and topped with chiabatta, shaved parm and sliced swiss. WOOP WOOP!

Bacon....gettin' happy:

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In go the onions and a couple habs:

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Beef broth, beef, merlot to a boil......add mushrooms and onion/bacon......simmer.......then.....

SPOON GUITAR!!!!!

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After my solo and three encores......it looks like THIS:

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.......boing boing boing.....
 
Add the slightly toasted and trimmed ciabatta and some parmesean....

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SWISS!!!!

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Under the broiler we go......the soup, not me! Comes out looking a bit like....THIS:

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The meal....ready to be OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.....

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ok once you showed the spoon guitar we all knew you were legally drunk :lol: though nothing wrong with that.
the SW egg rolls look very tasty!!! so does the beef onion soup!!!IMO those 2 combos put together would of tasted great!
& harp lager...now thats a win!!!
 
The paulky posse in 'da house! The SW springrolls look good but.....the FrenchO looks like sex in a cup! You already know the rating you get swabby! The pics are fantastic! We need to get Timmy on THP too! We also need to get you a REAL guitar!

I have chicken and mole' simmering now. Several hosky's consumed. Pickled 'penos in the freezer firming up for stuffing. Cast iron fryer heating up. Pics manana.
 
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