Unofficial Rules for Cooking and Posting on THP

[D3monic]

 

[Rymerpt]

JUST SAY NO

 

[JayT]

Yeah, there is no butcher's twine on the one on the right.  The legs would come apart upon cooking and that would NOT BE GOOD!

 

[The Hot Pepper]

No Belgian beer with tacos EVER! Cheap Mexican swill ONLY! (author: JayT - The one who has no rules)

 

[JayT]

Rule 614.9-B  Toasting bread or rolls:
 


Burgers, subs, rolls toasty inside
 
Cold sammie nuffin
 
Hot sammie, toasty outside
 
Bahn mi crusty outside

 

[Rymerpt]

Rule # 420

Don't burn it !

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Rule 53939493 Bacon must be crispy unless it's streaky. 

 

[grantmichaels]

Rule 53939493 Bacon must be crispy unless it's streaky or salt-cured like Benton's. 

 
FIFY.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Rule #225J
 

Sous vide and searzall is a lazy way out of real bbq.  No offence to you GM, but that is what I am the whole bbq world would tell you.  It may give you the tenderness and the crust that you are looking for, but if you take a real deal bbq and compare, it will come up lacking.  I understand your work situation and why you do what you do.  I also love the product that you have brought in, but if you take the time to cook it the right way, you will fall in love and understand what real bbq is.

 

[Rymerpt]

Holy shit dude. Rule # 1134 :

Never EVER ever use sausage casings that way! Good God man that's for meat, not YOUR meat.

 

[grantmichaels]

Rule #225J
 

 
Yes, per JayT, you can never braise BBQ ...

 

[Rymerpt]

Rule #8921

Never use a deep frier while shirtless. Also applies to cooking beacon.

 

[JayT]

Rule #322.7-9
 
Asparagus may NEVER be served with a bacon cheeseburger.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Rule #322.7-9
 
Asparagus may NEVER be served with a bacon cheeseburger.

 
lulz

 

[Rymerpt]

Rule 6b12:

Hotdog water is never to be used as beef stock.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Under no circumstance eat at any restaurant that ends in 's, or n's.
 
This means the food is horrid. Because of the letters.
 
-The TB

 

[Lucky Dog Hot Sauce]

1. Must take pics. No pics, didn't happen
3. No sissy drinks like fruit juices and vodka, except orange juice because that has a cool name.

Awe - Grayhound is a pretty cool name for a drink. And so delicious too.

Rule #322.7-9
 
Asparagus may NEVER be served with a bacon cheeseburger.

What about grilled teriyaki asparagus on a bacon cheeseburger?




Rule 3.47325 - section "Alcohol & Cooking"

If you wouldn't drink it, don't cook with it.

 

[SmokenFire]

 
Yes, per JayT, you can never braise BBQ ...

 
Midwest has a lot of places that boil their ribs.  they come out 'fall off the bone tender' and many people like em that way.  I'm a crusty sumbitch and I like my crunch, so I don't foil my ribs (foil the wife n kids tho!).  I'm certain that if you SV ribs and then finish in a hot grill (indirect heat) you could crisp the outsides pretty good and the results would be similar.  Won't be what you'd got off the smoker, but it would certainly hit the right notes.  Throw a lil liquid smoke in your bbq sauce and most wouldn't know.

 

[grantmichaels]

The SV food is flavorful, but requires the post-processing to enhance the texture and appearance.

I need to deploy the chamber vac before JHP uses his slicer, or I'll get guilty, lol ...

 

[Rymerpt]

Rule # y26c


Hot pockets should never be opened before eating. Believe me, you don't wanna know what's in them.