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off-topic You know what really grinds my gears?!?

D3monic said:
been a lot of insomnia going on in our house... and sounds like others. Makes you wonder if there's a global phenomenon 
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Haha, get enlisted. You learn to sleep at command, I can still lie down and go to sleep. Bus, bed, airplane, swamp, desert... or stay awake. Never thought I'd get something useful out of it.
 
No, that's just it ...
 
Like vaccinating ...
 
Like cooking over fire ...
 
I'm going to write that post one of these days.
Worth the read: http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/night-owls-creative-intelligent/686025/
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My sister dumping her kids on me every freaking night so she can go party with her boyfriend! I am afforded absolutely no social life.
 
On the upside, I have had loads of time to work on my guitar chops.
 
TNRedit: The worst part is not only is already married and is an adulterous whore, but she NEVER spends time with her kids! It breaks my heart when I hear her daughters ask me, "Where is my mommy?" or "Mommy forgot to feed me. Can you please make me something to eat?". That ****ing crushes me! How can you not even take the time to feed your children?! I would die of starvation before I would let any child go without food. I have tried like hell, every day, to talk some sense into her, but she only cares about herself.
 
It has been several weeks now since I have heard anything about the whereabouts and well being of my daughter, despite numerous attempts to contact my wife. My wife has cut off all communication and cannot be reached. What the hell do I do?! Do I call the cops? Do I call an attorney? Do I fly to Ohio and show up on their doorstep? I am absolutely sick over this and I haven't been able to sleep at night for weeks other than when I pass out from sheer exaustion from not sleeping for days on end. This is wrong and I feel powerless.
 
I'm not sure what your situation is.. but;

Don't show up. I understand it's emotionally the most logical thing to do, though I've heard about baiting tricks to trigger a emotional response (violence, threatening, statements) to gain custody over a kid.

If you're not in this situations excuse me for insinuating. In either case, best of luck.
 
Pfeffer said:
I'm not sure what your situation is.. but;

Don't show up. I understand it's emotionally the most logical thing to do, though I've heard about baiting tricks to trigger a emotional response (violence, threatening, statements) to gain custody over a kid.

If you're not in this situations excuse me for insinuating. In either case, best of luck.
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I've had to deal with this in my own family. Someone in my own family has done their best to bait me into doing/saying things that they can then use against me, and paint me as an evil human being in the eyes of my family. Problem is, by the time I'm called about it (as I have inevitably been), I've already been judged guilty, so I'm effectively being punished twice. And the said thing is, this person seems to go out of their way to do these things, not to mention the fact that it's a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation, since ignoring them also causes them to go to my relatives and say I've cut off communication with them, and am an evil, terrible person for cutting them off, and they can't possibly understand why I won't talk to them, when I have pages upon pages of text messages, Facebook messages, emails, and a whole host of other things to prove why I've done my best to walk away from the situation, when pretty much all these things were done out of the clear blue sky to fulfill some kind of revenge fantasy this person has because they're singling me out for not giving them the attention they think I should give them.
 
Perfect example: A couple years ago, I shared a quote by Bob Marley about not judging people, and this relative assumed it had to be directed at her (I just thought it was a cool quote to share on my Facebook wall), and sent me this long diatribe about how they had every right to judge me, and how I should be a man and call my nephews on her schedule, etc. When I, again, didn't give this relative the attention she felt she deserved, she called an intervention on me, in an effort to further paint me as the bad guy. When I brought up the message she sent me where she said they had every right to judge me, she claimed ignorance and said she didn't know what I was talking about. Trouble is, I had already sent it to several of my relatives the day after it was sent to me, and so she was caught in a lie, but this didn't stop her from sending me nasty messages, going behind my back, asking my friends for information about me, logging into relatives' Facebook accounts to see what I had posted up, and the list goes on. It's gotten to the point where I'm half paranoid to post anything up on Facebook, lest this person reads it, twists it around to their own ends and uses it against me. And she's basically earned a PhD in having some relatives believe her hook, line and sinker, while anything I say is automatically met with suspicion. Even the therapist I've seen for a long time (who herself admits that diagnoses by proxy should be met with a grain of salt) admits that it sounds like my relative has a form of Histrionic Personality Disorder (it's basically a form of narcissism, where a person has the pathological need to constantly be the center of attention, the willingness to do anything to anyone to get that attention, and lashing out at anyone who doesn't give them the attention they feel they deserve).
 
So yeah, True North, I definitely feel your pain and your situation truly does suck. I know that every fiber of your being wants you to go there to Ohio and try to see your daughter, but like Pfeffer said, this may well be a pretext by your wife to prove that you are an evil, terrible, horrible person (when we all here on THP know that is certainly not true), and use that as proof to take your daughter away from you permanently. And people using emotional blackmail to get what they want really and truly is a gear grinder.
 
I know I have screwed up in the past, like we all have, but I am trying to better myself and I am working very hard to be a better person.
 
That said, it is funny how I get a message now, after several weeks of no communication, on THP actually, from her today. She wanted to know how much I am getting back on taxes so she knows how much I am sending her. I guess my endless messages have been in vain because she must have blocked my numbers and stuff, just like she blocked my social media accounts from communicating with her. The joke is on her because I actually owe $202 in taxes this year because she insisted on filing separately and that she was the one entitled to claim our daughter, despite her making far less money. I tried explaing to her before we did taxes that that was a bad idea and we wouldn't get back as much back. I took the logical approach because whoy should we cares HOW we filed, as long as we got the most back? Right? But I couldn't stop her and she got a few hundred back filing separately, which she did send me half of it. First off, if we did file separately, I made more and we would have gotten back more if I claimed her and I would, likewise, split whatever I  had gotten back with her. But, had we have filed jointly, and I had the tax folks run the numbers just for shits and giggles, we would have gotten back $8,600 due to all the tax credits and stuff. So she could have made out with over $4,000 back in taxes vs a few hundred. This mistake lands squarely on her and it would have been a great financial start to her new life. I am not even worried about the money, personally, but the principal of thing really irritates me because it made no logical sense why she would insist on filing in any way but the way that would get us the most back. So now that I owe $202 because of her mistake, I really feel that, since marriage is 50/50, that she should owe half of the $202. I am not about to get dirty over the $101 I feel she should pony up, but it is the principal of the thing.
 
Then, on principle, ask her to fork over the $110 as part of you owe, since she's so 50/50 about the marriage...
 
Yep, emotional blackmail grinds my gears..
 
Here gunlaws are 100x more strict than in 'Murrica. However, someone on the range got into a nasty divorce. As he knew his mother in law, he already brought his guns to the police to hold on to them for a while. He explained the situation and they agreed it was better to take his guns for a cool down period of 3 months.
 
 
And sure.. a good two weeks later an armed intervention team went to his door as he threatened his exwife (and kid) with the guns. She could give a detailed description of both of his guns, including the new paint he got on them. Funny thing was that those guns were in the police dept's safe. She got sentenced to 240 hours of community service for it.
 
Another case;
 
Friend is in a nasty divorce as well (damn those go around a lot these days). His exwife gets his 5yo daughter so far that she says "daddy touched her down there". The exwife brags about it to her best friend (which was 110% anti-him as well). Though she is realistic enough that someone CAN'T do something like that. She pressured her to tell the truth and clear his name, when she refused she confessed to him and (after some urgent talking) went to the police to tell them as well. Though he was cleared of all charges his name is still in the dirt; his kid gets bullied at school because of it, people don't let kids play at his (and his new wife + newly gained kids) home, etc.
 
 
 
 
Breaks up are bad, most of the times stories go both ways. Nobody is perfect.. but in the end the kids always lose. Don't fight in front of the kid, even if the kid is in a relatively bad spot.. a stabile home is better than fighting over a good place. Get a good lawyer involved, work overtime, double shifts and all you can to pay for it and get a nice home for the kid. Get your own life sorted and be hard on the kid.
 
Pfeffer said:
Yep, emotional blackmail grinds my gears..
 
Here gunlaws are 100x more strict than in 'Murrica. However, someone on the range got into a nasty divorce. As he knew his mother in law, he already brought his guns to the police to hold on to them for a while. He explained the situation and they agreed it was better to take his guns for a cool down period of 3 months.
 
 
And sure.. a good two weeks later an armed intervention team went to his door as he threatened his exwife (and kid) with the guns. She could give a detailed description of both of his guns, including the new paint he got on them. Funny thing was that those guns were in the police dept's safe. She got sentenced to 240 hours of community service for it.
 
Another case;
 
Friend is in a nasty divorce as well (damn those go around a lot these days). His exwife gets his 5yo daughter so far that she says "daddy touched her down there". The exwife brags about it to her best friend (which was 110% anti-him as well). Though she is realistic enough that someone CAN'T do something like that. She pressured her to tell the truth and clear his name, when she refused she confessed to him and (after some urgent talking) went to the police to tell them as well. Though he was cleared of all charges his name is still in the dirt; his kid gets bullied at school because of it, people don't let kids play at his (and his new wife + newly gained kids) home, etc.
 
 
 
 
Breaks up are bad, most of the times stories go both ways. Nobody is perfect.. but in the end the kids always lose. Don't fight in front of the kid, even if the kid is in a relatively bad spot.. a stabile home is better than fighting over a good place. Get a good lawyer involved, work overtime, double shifts and all you can to pay for it and get a nice home for the kid. Get your own life sorted and be hard on the kid.
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Exactly! I am not out for blood. I am not that kind of person. Yeah, I am beyond pissed and I am a broken man, but I am not a violent person and I am confronting all my demons and getting help for them. Ok, so my wife and I didn't work out because of faults on both our sides, so now my main focus is our daughter, as it should be. Luckily she is still very young (10 months) and isn't old enough to remember any of this madness. I wish my wife would take the high road and end this lack of communication that she is using as weapon against me. I don't understand why it must be a fight for her, no matter what I say, as I have been very civil about all this and have not attacked her in any way, shape or form. We are both adults and need to act as such. We are stuck together for life, whether she likes it or not because we have a child together. I know she is reading this, so Tasha, please stop this hatred and work with me on a normal, civil plane. We don't have to fight and hate each other.
 
You know what really grinds my gears?!?


Having to watch from the sidelines as people suffer. It hurts me to the core. Sadly I am but a poor pepper growning fat man that smells of sour pee and looks like John Lovitt.


CHEER UP MY FRIEND AND GOD BLESS
 
The Hot Pepper said:
People fighting about waffles and waffling about fights.
 
Grinds my gears.
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You know what's grinding my gears is all this rabbit shart in the yard. Snow's melting and exposing all the frozen coco pellets in the yard. Dogs running around like mad men trying to collect every last drop of it. Disgusting little bastages. 
 
Rymerpt said:
You know what really grinds my gears?!?


Having to watch from the sidelines as people suffer. It hurts me to the core. Sadly I am but a poor pepper growning fat man that smells of sour pee and looks like John Lovitt.


CHEER UP MY FRIEND AND GOD BLESS
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Thanks, brother! And you made my night with the fat man that looks like Jon Lovitz comment. Hahaha!
 
My favorite rendition of the red guy is Peter Stormare's version in the Constantine movie. I think he enjoyed it immensely.
 
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