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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Awwyyyeeeaaahhhhh!

Throw a can of soup on the floor and MAKE him clean it up.
I don't care how many hours a week he works!
And make him bark like a dog while he does it. :rofl:
 
Hello to you, too, and Thanks! Hoping to get Grant drunk enough tonight that HE has to get on all fours and clean the floor! :rofl:

I be concocting some schnit and drankin' it ...

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i can get down w/ a martini glass, but that vino is for little girls ...

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we're going to make something curry ...

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and, of course, because SD can't let it go, S77 had to knock some of my Hornitos out ...

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oh, curry mango chutney while I prep ...

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Somebody is cracking out on the forum on the iPad while finishing the prep (I don't like cutting onions #truestory) ...

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And that's not all she's finishing ...

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Apparently we're going for stomach discomfort once more this evening ... 4x smallish 7-pot's, 3x datil, a veritable shit-ton of fresh chopped ginger, and like a head of garlic, I think ... and a half stick of butter ...

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Now steaming down a head of celery and a whole bag of mini-bells ...

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While the basmati cooks in the Zoji and I plot another adult beverage ...

Muse tonight.

There's something I haven't been able to get my hands on that I still want to try after two years ... Goose Island Bourbon Stout ... anyone know it's available where they is? ... don't ask me why that's on my mind ...
 
Hey sc77!!

Y'all are getting DRUNK tonight! Wooooooooooo!

What's the girl version of whiskey dick?
Don't get that.
(scovie, I'm talkin to you!)

J, get us an update on wheebz
 
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