Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!

 

[texas blues]

 
Shouldn't it be EL queso? 
I think it's masculine.
(at least it is when I make it!)

 
You speaka teh spanish?
 
Awesome.
 
My espanol is more slang than proper. 
 
All I know is me gusto mucho hambuergesas con queso.

 

[frydad4]

lol
I DO speak spanish (kind of a necessity around these parts)...and I'm the whitest guy in town.
It's funny when I pick up on conversations that the speakers don't think I can get...
 
Im just bustin ur juevos. 

Dem burgers look great! 

 

[texas blues]

lol
I DO speak spanish (kind of a necessity around these parts)...and I'm the whitest guy in town.
It's funny when I pick up on conversations that the speakers don't think I can get...
 
Im just bustin ur juevos. 

Dem burgers look great! 

 
 
Si Senor.
 
I kinda' had to learn damn skippy.
 
High school was 98% Mex/Amer.
 
First guy I met asked me...
 
"Quantos hermana's tienes tu?"
 
I learned real fast after that.
 
They respected that I learned hablar and they became my best friends.
 
Best thang' about high school was my Mexican amigo's.
 
Chingon!

 

[cypresshill1973]

Muy bueno Texas!!!. Eso se llama "actitud"
 
Confuse genres, but just understand everything to say. 
 
Not understand "savoja" maybe cebolla?
 
Same happens to me with my English .... I'm studying English academy. English easier, less words, Spanish many words for the same

 

[texas blues]

Si.
 
Cebolla.
 
Onion.
 
I wrote savoja like the way I learned to say it.
 
I never learned proper Espanol.
 
I butchered that spelling.
 
What can I say.
 
I'm a gabacho.

 

[sicman]

nice burgers cypresshill

 

[LUCKYDOG]

Si.
 
Cebolla.
 
Onion.
 
I wrote savoja like the way I learned to say it.
 
I never learned proper Espanol.
 
I butchered that spelling.
 
What can I say.
 
I'm a gabacho.

señor Macho Gabacho señor

 

[Essegi]

THP, this is for you! That time homemade patties!
I suppose this is a low bread content burger...
 
Missing only bp in next pic:

See that metal thing beyond the knife, in the right? I didn't know i had one...
Needed to do that:

Beef, leek, cumin and black ppepper powder. No salt.
 
Fried red onion and bacon:

 
Cooked patties in a pan with evo oil, salt, a drop of mad dog silver, tabasco and worcestershire.
 
I cleaned a bit the pan then i put sliced cheese on it while was still warm, i didn't melt cheese but it was very soft.
 
Assembled with cheese (provolone dolce and fontal), calabrese pepper powder each floor, then cooked a bit more.

I didn't even tried to press that...
 
Homemade maionese and ketc, no, tomato vignairette reduction:

 
That last 2 pics just for show:

 

 

[texas blues]

Geez Louise Essi.
 
That looks and sounds pretty good but messy as hell.
 
How did you eat that thang?
 
I would have gone straight to the knife and fork.
 
I should also 'splain.
 
Tomato Vinaigrette Reduction = Ketchup

 

[Essegi]

I would have gone straight to the knife and fork.

Exactly what i did.
Bacon wasn't the best for fry (i suppose wrong type, it's better uncooked) and onion was not the best i cooked. Cheese was very good. Patties itselves were very good too (leek, bp and cumin was truly a good choice).
 
Worchestershire and tabasco sauce... My mom used that for gazpacho... I should make it asap, it's maybe my fav way to eat vegetables... I should try when i'll have fresh superhot pods, that will be fun!

 

[texas blues]

I dig that you used the meat press but I myself am not a fan of them.
 
While they make the meat uniform and all pretty, the meat gets too compacted like a dense sausage and not my thang when it comes to burgers. I like the meat loose with minimal handling.
 
I use an ice cream scoop to either dig it out of the package if store bought or if I'm grinding my own chuck.
 
Scoop it, then smash it in a hot pan with a spatula.
 
Gets a great crust on it and still leaves the meat loose and juicy.
 
I'd like to see that burger you made but only a single patty on some thick but airy focaccia and melted gorgonzola.
 
Gorgonzola.
 
Makes my mouth water and wetter than a shampoo'd water buffalo.

 

[Husker21]

That is beautifully messy.    Those are some perfectly formed patties.  I have a plastic patty press that I never use.  Might have to pull it out for fun.

 

[Essegi]

Thanks Husker!
 

I dig that you used the meat press but I myself am not a fan of them.
 
While they make the meat uniform and all pretty, the meat gets too compacted like a dense sausage and not my thang when it comes to burgers. I like the meat loose with minimal handling.
 
I use an ice cream scoop to either dig it out of the package if store bought or if I'm grinding my own chuck.
 
Scoop it, then smash it in a hot pan with a spatula.
 
Gets a great crust on it and still leaves the meat loose and juicy.
 
I'd like to see that burger you made but only a single patty on some thick but airy focaccia and melted gorgonzola.
 
Gorgonzola.
 
Makes my mouth water and wetter than a shampoo'd water buffalo.

Next time i'll try without press to see how it changes. And the usual ciabatta. Gorgonzola ok, maybe with some other cheese. And maybe speck instead bacon. Sounds good.
I want patties larger and thinner btw.

 

[cypresshill1973]

I also have a mold plastic for burger. And always use. 
 
True, says Texas with metal mold was compacted meat too. Instead plastic mold, shape uncompacted.
 
ESSEGI: you tower looks delicious! But it would have been more comfortable making burgers on the plate

 

[Essegi]

Thanks CH!
 
TB, look at that. Forgive me for no gorgonzola, but i felt that fontal and provolone dolce were good on its own. But there's ciabatta (it's really special, i can't get tired to eat that bread).
 
I didn't even form patty, meat was good as it was:

Some oil, bp, and hot pepper. I had some wine, so wine too for cooiking (white tocai).
 
Egg, wiith calabrese pepper powder. Really really good together! Then sliced pepperoni (just to heat them, not to cook), i turned off fire.

 
A little melt with fontal and provolone:

Meat was spilt in 3 parts, cheese was holding toghether, That's a fine example of composite material.
 
Assembled before pressing:

Of course as always pressed bread. The amazing thing of that ciabatta is that pressing it is unique. It's crunchy and airy. So awesome on its own that maybe best use is just add evo oil, garlic, pepper powder, but that's another story...
 
After pressing added some sauces:

 
Final thing.

 

[JayT]

Other than the unborn chicken embryo I would bow down to that sandwich.  Essigi is brilliant as always.

 

[Essegi]

Thanks Jay, don't you like eggs?

 

[The Count]

Frito Pie Burgers.......
 
I'm not usually a big fan of making burgers with a bunch of stuff on them other than meat, cheese, bacon, onions and some kind of pepper.  I rarely ever put lettuce or tomato on a burger, I'm not eating a salad    But I recently made these burgers and now my wife, who eats about the same type of burger as me, says that I have to make them ALL the time.  
 
I got the inspiration from a local fast food joint, Dairy Queen.  Had to pick up a quick meal one night and they have a Fritos Chili Cheese Crunch burger.  I gave it a try and it was pretty good for a DQ burger.  So one night in drunken chef mode I decided to make some.
 
My chili for it is a crappy ground beef (although freshly ground chuck is used) chili with beans and loads of other great stuff.  I only use this for Frito Pies, chili cheese fries and chili dogs.  The hamburger patties are also freshly ground chuck, cooked sloppy drunk smash style.  The cheese is American and there are pan fried onions and jalapeños.  And of course there are the Chili Cheese flavored Frito chips. Cook it all up and throw it all together, add alot of Wild Turkey and WHAM.....Frito Pie Burgers!
 
Oh, and I made some double fried French fries.  The pic of them is after the first frying, waiting on the oil temp to get up to 400deg.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[muskymojo]

I'm eating a bowl of chili as I type this. Now I wish I had a cheeseburger and some fritos to go with it!

 

[Deathtosnails]

Felt like a simple beef flavoured beef patty cow burger with beef
 
Cow beef patty beef flavoured with S&P and beef

 
Charred and half a Yellow 7
 

 
Gooey scheeze
 

 
On the lids is a balsamic glazed onion and red wine chutney
 

 
They were tasty.  In fact i forgot i had fries to go with 'em 'cause i was so busy stuffing 'em down my boigerhole