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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Y'all know how I roll.
 

 
Flipped these puppy's after less than a minute and splooged 'em with homemade wang sauce.
 
That would be Frank's, granulated garlic, and Mexican table crema.
 

 
I borrowed a tip from The SoFlo Posse and topped them with muenster scheeze.
 
Much obliged Sum.
 

 
I smacked my 'sef upside my punkin' haid' as I realized these sliders with the muenster and wang sauce were goodern' hell!
 
Why dinna' think of that before?
 

 
Salute'!
 
The TB hits a homer.

All this talk about wing sauce and such... You sir have just reinvented the wheel!

Franks and Crema?!?!?! Gott damm brilliant!
 
Scoville DeVille said:
The TB hits a homer.

All this talk about wing sauce and such... You sir have just reinvented the wheel!

Franks and Crema?!?!?! Gott damm brilliant!
 
Much obliged Scovalingus but I stole the idee from DEFCON.
 
I haven't been able to get down to Plano and Central Market to pick up some more DEFCON 2 so I did my own riff on it.
 
Mainly his list of ingreds is cayenne, vinegar, garlic, and cream.
 
I been puttin' this sheeit on ever thang too.
 
Salmon. Shrimps. These sliders. Brekky stuff.
 
Hell even used it as a dressing for kale tomato salad.
 
I'm addictaficated!
 
Scoville DeVille said:
Yeah buddy. It looks like that PTSOE type sauce.

Hael yes!
 
PTSOE.
 
Y'all seen it here first.
 
Scovie comes up with a new THP acronym.
 
Chit yeah!
 
One more 'thang.
 
The real beauty of this spooge as I'm sure The Creator discovered, is the cream really helps the sauce to bind and stay on whatever grub you put it on.
 
A while back I fried up a batch of salmon "wings" using a corn flour dredge.
 
Right out of the fryer I tossed the "wang's" in a bowl with DEFCON 2 and very little sauce was left in the bowl.
 
Almost all of it was clung to the wangs.
 
Awesomenessessess!
 
DEFCON cream cheese would be pretty dang skookum.
 
That'd make one helluva' schmear on a bagel!
 
Top it with a fried egg and serve open faced for brekky.
 
Shazaam!!!
 
texas blues said:
 
Much obliged Scovalingus but I stole the idee from DEFCON.
 
I haven't been able to get down to Plano and Central Market to pick up some more DEFCON 2 so I did my own riff on it.
 
Mainly his list of ingreds is cayenne, vinegar, garlic, and cream.
 
You be right sir, the cream gives Defcon sauces its binding power and a nice silkiness. Never thought about trying it at home instead of butter. Doh! Nice. Looks like magic! Love the orange.
 
Holy crap!
 
The Aussie Posse is rockin' it harder than penitentiary steel y'all!
 
Talk about some mouf' waterin' goodnessess.
 
Ever see a bulldog eatin' a bowl of mayonaisse?
 
What's the name of that thickass bacon y'all using?
 
I love this Aussie showdown!!!
 
They BOTH made bacon double cheeseburgers, but DTS forgot the second patty. Oh, he means double cheeeese. BOOMA WINS!
 
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