• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Now THAT looks like an AWESOME drunken snack!!! Srsly. I love it.

This hungover chef made a brekkie of 2 strips of bacon w/ eggs & hashbrowns. Sprinkled pequin powder over it all. Gotta feel well enough for my 2nd round of partying tonight :).
 
Last night was "Drunken Chicken Kung Fu" night.
One chicken. Rubbed with Lawry's Seasoned salt. Granulated garlic. Open beer can. Slam it. Open second beer can. Drink a sip. Offer the chicken a beer...help push chicken's stool in.
Mount on grill at 275-300. After the first hour and Mrs. Chicken starts showing some kung fu color, start mopping every 20 minutes or so with a mix of beer and Bone Suckin' Jalapeno Mustard. Done after almost 3 hours....

Gratuitous naked chicken porn...

0041-1.jpg


All tanned up..

0045-1.jpg


Which came first? The chicken or a beer?

0046-1.jpg


Cheers ya'll, TB.
 
Looking good TB.

I had a few pounds of chicken that looked to be needing cooking soon. Technically this is hungover cooking..but oh well... :-)

Washed up the chicken and let it brine in salt water with some garlic for a bit.

In my huge 'ol vintage "Magic-Ray" stock pot it went with chicken stock, a bunch of curry, habs, jap pods, extra cumin and allspice, red pepper, sambal olek, chipotle chiles, misc. chile powders, a couple onions, 4-5 garlic cloves, and whatever else came to mind.

S6302746.JPG


After a good boil for a few minutes to ensure it was safe and simmered for about 15 min, in the slow-cooker it went to finish off. Added more red pepper and curry.

S6302748.JPG


All done..quite spicy.
S6302752.JPG


Not just fork-tender..this is spoon-tender...
S6302749.JPG


Now that it's cooked, it'll keep longer and I can stick the rest it in freezer bags.

Good snackin', burrito filling, you name it.
 
Thx mate!

Oh, and the extra liquid made a fine gravy.

I'm gonna make mashed potatos, with loose spicy chicken, and that gravy in a bit... ;)
 
texas blues said:
Last night was "Drunken Chicken Kung Fu" night.
One chicken. Rubbed with Lawry's Seasoned salt. Granulated garlic. Open beer can. Slam it. Open second beer can. Drink a sip. Offer the chicken a beer...help push chicken's stool in.
Mount on grill at 275-300. After the first hour and Mrs. Chicken starts showing some kung fu color, start mopping every 20 minutes or so with a mix of beer and Bone Suckin' Jalapeno Mustard. Done after almost 3 hours....

Gratuitous naked chicken porn...

0041-1.jpg


All tanned up..

0045-1.jpg


Which came first? The chicken or a beer?

0046-1.jpg


Cheers ya'll, TB.

texbluse how the chiken stand up but still is cooked? When i make the cken it is sitting down, and ready? Did yoiu use the foreman?
 
thehotpepper.com said:
texbluse how the chiken stand up but still is cooked? When i make the cken it is sitting down, and ready? Did yoiu use the foreman?


NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

If he did, he really is PMD...
 
Yes. I use my magic bowlette and mixed it with Dr. pepper spice and then baked ir first on the Foreman. IT WAST SPICY!! I putted a sponn tiyed on one leg like a crutch so it wouldn't fall ovr. I got the idae from my mopds kickstand. And the rotra and gemmiho chilles were good. Can I add pickled garlic to this for more spice?
 
texas blues said:
Chix and chile gravy with mashed. NICE!!

Cheers, TB.

EZ as pie..made a flour/butter roux, an added the leftover liquids I'd saved and had in fridge.

S6302762.JPG



Then, added the faling-apart chicken.

Mashed up a potato I'd baked earlier (better flavor IMO from baked)

Dash of S&P and.....Ka-Blammmm!

S6302764.JPG


NOW..dats some spuds.

Oh, and they leftover-leftover chicken & gravy stuff will make a fine S.O.S. later on.... ;-)
 
I know my lawyers. You photoshoppted that photop that I have a copywriter! YOu guys are armholes and I'm going to report you to the modulators. And Im havent been gayer!
 
Heheh, no worries.

I'm pretrty sure my sinuses are clean now after that stuff..
Man..dem's hot tators.

Consindering the juices had cooked for a loooong time in tons of chiles..THEN combined with the chicken as well..

I about blew my head off eating thost mashed tators & gravy. Good stuff.
 
texas blues said:
Yes. I use my magic bowlette and mixed it with Dr. pepper spice and then baked ir first on the Foreman. IT WAST SPICY!! I putted a sponn tiyed on one leg like a crutch so it wouldn't fall ovr. I got the idae from my mopds kickstand. And the rotra and gemmiho chilles were good. Can I add pickled garlic to this for more spice?

lol-034.gif
 
Back
Top