The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[texas blues]

Hope ya'll have practiced your drunken kung fu this week. I reckon there'll be mucho raunch and roll this eve in the Blues Kitchen and several drunken guest's dropping in to dance with ye old Texas Blues. So start the bubble machine...anda one...anda..two..anda...three....hey IGG..lemme' twirl ya'...

Cheers, TB.

 

[texas blues]

Gettin' down here in the Blues Kitchen. I've got habs, serranos and 'peno's on deck. Chorizo, goat cheese, cheddar and jack cheese, shallots, yellow and red onion, green onion, roasted corn, my own pineapple hab salsa, cilantro, heaps of limes and seasalt, fresh garlic and lots of cerveza and Hornitos.

Mrs. Blues just asked me to make her a thai chile sweet cream sauce. I'll make a little extra and throw that into the mix too..

but first...a leetle tequila.

Cheers, TB.

 

[JayT]

Let the booze flow brother. All finished here but the pictures posting (as we speak) and the general debauchery. Just hit my first glass of vodka. Gonna get fun now.

 

[QuadShotz]

I think this somes it up for me...

 

[texas blues]

waaaayyy too much foo foo. Quad, your kung fu is pretty good...
but...I'mn drunk....

Forgot what I was gonnna say....


Cheeooors, TB.

 

[QuadShotz]

Heh, ya, it's prolly a bit OTT..but that's likely the fauly of the evil beer gremlins.

 

[FiveStar]

I think this somes it up for me...

Just noticed your turntable... That thing spin records too?

 

[QuadShotz]

LOL, it's a big dinner plate..but wanted a plain white background so my digicam would take betetr pix in low light.

 

[FiveStar]

LOL, it's a big dinner plate..but wanted a plain white background so my digicam would take betetr pix in low light.

Not that... Check the top left of your pic...

 

[QuadShotz]

oh, hahaha..thats the microwave...

 

[texas blues]

too drunk to post....aheisies

 

[JayT]

Ohhhh TB is building the suspense. I predict domination. This is my popper. There are many like it, but this one is mine...

 

[texas blues]

Ohhhh TB is building the suspense. I predict domination. This is my popper. There are many like it, but this one is mine...

Oh I built something last night alright. Not sure what the hell it was. The Blues Kitchen is a complete wreck. In my drunken stupor the poppers I wanted to show off the most I ate before posting pics. TB FAIL.

FAIL, TB.

 

[QuadShotz]

Amazingly, the kitchen is pretty clean today, but the beer & booze disappeared somehow...

 

[JayT]

I spent so much time working on the poppers and other things that it was late until I achieved drunkenness. I had a hell of a time though.

 

[texas blues]

TB here ya'll. Last night I was feeling rather full of my bad 'sef as Mrs. Blues got tickets to see my favorite plank spanker and overlord of overtone, Billy Gibbons and ZZ Top along with coheadliners...Aerosmith. That being said I did imbibe of a few cervezas and (although I don't usually during the week) and shots of tequila. The Sunday night I had marinaded some fantackulous skirt steak in 2 parts Cholula, 1 part my own hab sauce, and one part lime juice. A little garlic diced onion and seasalt rounded it all out.

I grilled up the skirt with some red bells and green onions. Mrs. Blues had made a little black bean and corn melange that I added some pequins to. Skirts off the grill, onto a flour tortilla with the peppers, melange, and all the fixin's.

Doin' the 'bidness..

Love the fajita!

Cheers, TB.

 

[JayT]

Looks like Tex-Mex heaven TB. Love me some fajitas too.

 

[FiveStar]

Masterful drunken plating! When in doubt add more cheese.

That looks drunk! Yumm! Had carnitas enchiladas at the local mexican watering hole this eve, and one too many 32oz XX. I go sleepy now... or maybe after 1 more margarita or Jager shto/..

 

[ImpyChick]

TB! Beautiful foods! And the ZZ Top/Aerosmith show is coming to KC. I soooo want tickets!

 

[texas blues]

Well ya'll, I stopped by the local hippy fish monger joint and picked up some beautiful fresh halibut and 31/40's shrimp. I had a hankerin' for some halibut strips. Beer battered and deep fried, there are few things on this earth so good. I invited my good friends cerveza and tequila to join me in the chaos and they did not disappoint! I prepped some mayo, pequins, onion, garlic, lemon juice, capers, and cayenne, and made a zippy remoulade to go along with the butt and shrimp. Ooh lah lah!!

Here's how we got down..

Cheers ya'll, TB.