The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[texas blues]

WOW! FD4, Sumbits and THP all for the MAGNUM WIN!

THP...shell steak= new york strip ..okay I got it. Is that official on THE ROCK KITCHEN? The frits look to die for, the steak, cooked beautifully, the glowin' charcoal fire, extra WIN, the grill, needs a cleaning crew!

Watch out ya'll, THP and the Florida Posse is rollin'! They're enemies are crushed and flee before them as they hear the lamentations of the women.

Salute', TB.

 

[texas blues]

Thanks. Both your dishes rock! You guys are both down with the yuca, hell yeah. Yuca frita is mad good too. Heck I like it with ketchup

Ketchup... we don't serve that in our kitchen!

Hehe yeah I rarely touch the stuff, unless I make it myself or use a chilihead ketchup.

Nice save THP...barely.

Salute', TB.

 

[SumOfMyBits]

THP... Flap meat... it's like a gigantic skirt steak. The new hotness.

 

[texas blues]

Saturday night drunken chef....complete FAIL! I wanted to do up a mac and cheese in preperation for the upcoming throwdown but then realised I had so many leftovers of poppers and salmon. Did up some popper/salmon taco's, went to grab the camera....battery dead..forgot to put on the charger. I am such a loser! There was no sense in telling about the goin's on because as I always say..." if'n you don't post pics, it never happened.." mrs. blues has a nice dry aged wagyu beef filet she wants me to whoop up bearnaise for tonight. Hopefully I won't experience the wire whip of FAIL..

Salute', TB.

 

[texas blues]

THP... Flap meat... it's like a gigantic skirt steak. The new hotness.

hehe...a veritable meat curtain...hehe...

Salute', TB.

 

[caroltlw]

I HAVE TO do a curry asap. No chicken or steak on hand today though. Grrr.

Did a green chili yesterday from leftover green salsa and I liked it but BF gave it the thumbs down. He's a red chili guy.

 

[FiveStar]

hehe...a veritable meat curtain...hehe...

Salute', TB.

BWAHAHAHAH! Will do my best to get the dunce cap of FAIL off my drunk ass head tonight to. TB, that piece of dry aged wonderful is making my mouth water already, and I can't even see the damn thang! Where the hell do you get meat like that?

 

[texas blues]

BWAHAHAHAH! Will do my best to get the dunce cap of FAIL off my drunk ass head tonight to. TB, that piece of dry aged wonderful is making my mouth water already, and I can't even see the damn thang! Where the hell do you get meat like that?

Whole Foods. I call that store "the hippy joint". Along with fantastic seafood and meat counters, they're all about organic this and that. Lot of patchoulli Lord board wearin' hippy's work there. Very cool joint. I get all my quality ingredients, beer and wine there.

Salute', TB.

 

[FiveStar]

Yup, sounds about right. No wagyu around here though, all the hippies are probly too militant around these parts to let that stuff be sold. God knows there's more hippies than you can shake a telephone pole at in Asheville. I guess I kinda look like one. Long hair, beard, glasses, American Spirit cigs. Thing is, the only reason I shop at those stores is the great meat and odd piece of produce you've mentioned above. Don't get me wrong, organic stuff is cool and I love to support organic farming. Just hard to take the clientel in these markets. Often it's like they're trying to one-up each other with how organic they can be, or how much body odor they can stand before showering. Love that quality fish and meat though.

But I digress, sorry for the ranting derailment. BACK TO THE DRUNKEN PROGRAMMING!

 

[texas blues]

No worries Five. Didn't do the wagyu last night for mrs. blues. It is in the works right now. I just reduced shallot, tarrogon and vin. Potatos on the boil for mashed, and the cast iron ready to crank up to 11 for the wagyu medallions. Butter is all clarified for the bearnaisse.

Crackin' another hosky...

Salute', TB.

 

[texas blues]

I just ate this stuff. Too lit to post pics. It is one of the seventh wonders of the world! Pics tomorrow night....

Salute', TB.

 

[frydad4]

TB, it's tomorrow night...

 

[texas blues]

Well here 'tis ya'll. mrs. blues did her own mashed spuds. I paired that with wagyu dry aged beef medallions seared in the cast iron. To finish it off, mrs. blues had requested that I whip up a bearnaisse sauce.

Nothing inspiring about the spuds as they served their purpose as a vehicle for beef and sauce so we'll cut to the chase..

I began by clarifying butter. While that was going on, in my new stainless sauce pan I tossed in minced shallot with apple cider vinegar and brought to a simmer. I reduced that down by half and then added dry tarragon. I like the dry over the fresh better in this sauce. reduced that down to about a teaspoon. I then set up a double boiler and separated 2 yolks from eggs which I added to the boiler along with the tarragon/vin. While mrs. blues drizzeled in the clarified butter, I whisked
the eggs. A little salt and pepper and done.

While that was goin' on I had the cast iron cranked up. I had sliced the wagyu tenderloin into medallions and had applied a rub of garlic, paprika, seasalt and pepper. I then placed the medallions on a plate and coated with olive oil. Once the CI was hot...into the skillet..sizzle..sizzle..

Here's some piccy's...

The tarragon redux..

Clarifying the butter..

The sauce piccy was too bright so....

Here 'da medallions...

More to come ya'll...

 

[texas blues]

Wagyu beef is the US version of Kobe beef. Dry aged it is incredible. Fork tender and melt in your mouth goodness. It didn't need the bearnaisse at all but the addition was nothing short of fantastic. mrs. blues loved it so much I may have to take on a second job to raise the jing to score the wagyu for her new habit. Hopefully she won't move on to the harder stuff....kobe.

Here's a couple more piccy's...I've had a few here so not as foo foo as I wanted it..spuds in the middle, sauce drizzled 'round the spuds, and the carne' enthroned on high...

One more..

In summation, everyone should as least try some dry aged beef once in a blue moon. It's somewhere north of incredible and there is no real description to compliment the flavor. Sure it's pricey but if you do it yourself and take the restaurant factor out, it's not a bad deal.
Splurge on yourselves now and again and you'll be happier for it.

Salute', TB.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Nice meat and taters, but we need to see it cut open to see if you did it justice

The WIN is on hold.

 

[mrs.blues]

Ok, so TB is being such a wonderful hubby! He even forgot to mention that he did all the above madness in SPITE of his wife! I should be permenantly banned from the kitchen! it was truly wonderful and I am in awe! I'm a lucky LUCKY girl!

 

[texas blues]

Nice meat and taters, but we need to see it cut open to see if you did it justice

The WIN is on hold.

Too late. Eaten...ehr..devoured last night. mrs. blues were medium. I ate mine later after they rested for some time so they lost a bit of color.

Salute', TB.

 

[JayT]

Even so, I say win. Now I have to try Wagyu.

 

[frydad4]

damn dude, you knocked that one out of the park! Looks great!

How dare you say that there's nothing inspiring about Mrs. Blues' spuds. They helped anchor the whole dish! HAHA!

Another amazing contribution to the drunken chef... minus any alcoholic beverage in any pictures. Oh well. we all FAIL sometimes.

An overall WIN!!!!!!

 

[JayT]

You know what, now that you mention it there is not even a mention of adult beverages anywhere there let alone pics of said beverages. Nova, we need to add to the FAIL meter!