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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
If I may limp in with an entry in this o magnificent thread?

Forgot to take construction pictures but I'll explain what I did.

drank beer
fried some beef pieces
drank more beer
added onion, can of three bean mix and several large spoons of tikka masala paste.
drank
mixed in some cream and smokey jolokia sauce and simmered
sat it on a bed of rice
remembered to take photo
ate the whole thing
drank beer
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It is important to note that I tried to pour a little bit of the hot sauce on and because it was straight out of the fridge it didn't come out. So I shook it vigorously and patted the bottom of the bottle until guess what? I got about four times as much as I wanted. Yeah it was good and hot.

My theory is: if it already looks like it will when it comes out the other end then your body doesn't have so much work to do. :cheers:


Not quite hot blue and righteous but it works for me, I'd eat that on a styrofoam plate.
 
Tonight.....the Circle-H is making BEER!!!

....and a turkey melt sammich.

Here are the players. Note the beer:

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Bacon.....nice and crispy.....and beer.

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BEER!!!.....and chopped onion & hab.

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Beer......watching over the toasting ciabatta...

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Added a layer of shredded pepper-jack....with beer:

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Then, as the beer watches, we added some turkey:

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In this photo we have a beer........and some bacon on top of the turkey:

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Then I took a photo of a beer.....and more cheese on top of the bacon....

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......more pictures of beer to follow.....
 
Here's a beer, onions, and hab:

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Beer says: "Wrap that thang up and toast it for 7-9 minutes on high in the convection oven....

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For some reason, the oven got in the photo with the BEER:

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This captivating shot is of a couple of well appreciated beers.........oh yeah.....and dinner:

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....tried to take an artistic shot of my beer when this sammich photobombed my ass....

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So....there it is.






















I hope someone noticed the beer this time.

:rofl:
 
Paul...I get the message you bastige! Beer RECOGNIZED and REPRESENTED! That was a requirement for the thread after all. Now post some more bacon/beer hotness....I love it!!!!
 
That looks great Paul. You are not going to believe this, but unknowingly, I made almost exactly the same sandwich for lunch just now. I will post pics tonight. I am not drinking at the moment so I don't know if I should post them here or not, but I just came home from the bar so I guess it should qualify.
 
That looks great Paul. You are not going to believe this, but unknowingly, I made almost exactly the same sandwich for lunch just now. I will post pics tonight. I am not drinking at the moment so I don't know if I should post them here or not, but I just came home from the bar so I guess it should qualify.

Drunk'ja vu!!!


I say post'em here!!!
 
That looks great Paul. You are not going to believe this, but unknowingly, I made almost exactly the same sandwich for lunch just now. I will post pics tonight. I am not drinking at the moment so I don't know if I should post them here or not, but I just came home from the bar so I guess it should qualify.


Booo or WIN I can't tell. Not drinking but coming from the bar? FAIl? I Dunno'...
 
It's not Tejas where maybe you are allowed to drink on the way home from the bar. Anyway, I have so much goings on in my kitchen right now that I think it's going to need it's own thread since I am not drinking for half of it anyway.
 
Pauly can be such an inspiration!

TB - I just realized you easily have all the implements of food madness at your disposal - wrap your grub in foil, put it in the engine compartment of your car, then drive around a while - voila! If Pauly can do it, so can you. :)
 
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