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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...


Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.


Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!


So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
FreeportBum said:
that's looking nice, id like to see more blood. but well done sir. 
Thanks, and I would as well but these little patties cook so fast.  I preheat the griddle to anywhere between 500 and 550deg. surface temp.  Then I throw the balls on the griddle three at a time, smash immediately and flip 1 minute after smashing.  One minute on the second side and the cheese goes on top.  30 more seconds and they are taken off.  I might try throwing the cheese on durning the minute of the second side and take them off when the timer goes off (yes I use a timer, i loose track of time quite easily when drinking  ;) ).
Senor Count ~ Super wombat hot blue and righteous.
When I get my smash on, I add the cheese as soon as I flip.
Keeps it more pink for the folks that like to be liking it that way and more juicy too.
I dig on Mrs. Baird's buns too.
Well done senor.
So sorry y'all for the delay in the chorizo sliders but I ended up working a double shift and then 
had a pig 'rasslin' contest with Photophuckit.
So here's how I got down brown and mojofied last evening.
Ice cream scoops of cheapass store bough chorizo. (Johnsonville, a brand I usually loathe but this was 
goodern' hell) The dollops were smaller than a golf ball by a little bit.

Had some roma slice's I tossed on there for no dang reason along with PF Whole Wheat Slider Buns.
Chinese 'leave it to cleaver'd  onions as I was feelin' lazy n' sheeit and didna' feel like cleaning the mandoline

Like right out of a James Bond flick.

Toss a little cheapass Kroger Try-N-Save pepperjack scheeze on there.

Serve up on the finest china paper plates as usual.
And with one of my favorite hosky's.
The Original Pilsner.

Geez Louise.
Got dang goodern' hell.
Just look at that ooze and sexy grease drippin' on my thumb and the plate.

Have mercy!
I had some Johnsonville Chorizo links I tried a while back but they blow'd hard like a sperm whale.
They tasted more like plain smoked sausage at best and boooooring.
For this 'speriment I didna' want to use good stuff so tried Jville's cheapass sheeit again only
this time it was ground.
I was quite surprised to say the least and found it to be as good as some Mexican mercado's 
I've bought from.
But look at the ingredients on the package. 
Corn syrup. "natural pork broth". Dextrose (a type of sugar also used to carbonate beer)
For sure its cheapass and full of crap but it tastes GUUD.
But I won't buy it again.
I don't like crap in my food unless I put it there myself.
Salute' mi compadre's and get your chorizo sliders on!
Chorizo rocks!
True story.
What a sloppy, juicy goddamn tasty mess TB!!!!!!!

As THP would say..... Fist my..... never mind

Now me and TB seem to be strangely connected when it comes down to burgers, always cookin em the same night/day


Nacho Burger

And just for you GM, inside shot of the one that didn't make it

Crazy hot sear using the vortex
Booma, you just make me wanna make a burger with that nacho & meat baked pic you maked.... but it's almost midnight... the next burger I make is gonna have nachos in it... promise!
The next burger I make is gonna have pork in it.

late last night i rocked out the end of my jerk wings as sliders ... on those tasty hawaiian rolls, but this time I used pineapple w/ a little soy soaked in ...

no more jerk for a while ...