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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
You guys got me hungry enough to go get one.......

Five Guys. Double w/ jalapenos, grilled onions, mayo, and mustard. (NOBODY puts ketchup on a hamburger!) Fries, cajun style w/ malt vinegar----all to go!

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Goooooooooooooooooooood NOMage!!!
 
Oh man!

Pauly I've been to 5 Guys one time which tells you how much I liked it.

But the burger I got looked NOTHING LIKE THAT!

That 'thang looks guuuuuud!!

After seeing that burger maybe I should give them another shot.

But not with mrs. blues.

If it ain't In-N-Out, she gives all other burger joints the finger.

I'd eat that burger like I was mad at it!!
 
5 guys rules! its the best burger ive eaten at a "fast food" joint. they use fresh stuff and there just awesome. you should try again t.b. not sure what wenr wrong when you had one.
 
5 guys rules! its the best burger ive eaten at a "fast food" joint. they use fresh stuff and there just awesome. you should try again t.b. not sure what wenr wrong when you had one.

It was at a 5 Guys in the big dry ditch known as Las Vegas.

And the meat was just that, dry as a ditch.

The tomatos were flavorless and were mushy.

Like they had been sliced and sat for a week in room temp water.

The bun was also as dry as the big dry ditch.

I ate about half of it and tossed the rest.

I never ordered their fries.

The thing is though, in Vegas its hard not to be biased and not compare every burger joint with In-N-Out or StripBurger which by the way, kicks major burger ass!

http://stripburger.com/
 
I just might siccy.

But I'll have to do it all ninja stealth bold artisan style on account of mrs. blues not digging on it.

Her and her stinkin' girlfriends like to go to Chick-fil-A.

Whatever.
 
Some more boiger pR0n

More posty less talky ppl's!

I like this shot 'cause it has got a mini steam volcano goin on in the centre. Just good ol' 80/20 with nuttin else. Barely formed into a round shape, Long strands pointing up n flipped every 2 minutes to cause the Maillard reaction on the surface and the blood coming out. Ends up being BEEFY!!!

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Resting for 5 minutes with a mix of 60/40 : Kraft Easy Cheese and Paul Newman's Southwest Ranch sauce

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Toppings: 3 big ol' slices of crispy bacon, fresh 'maters and fresh homemade spicy Cholula pickled onions.

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This thing was messy!!! :D

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...and guuuuud!
 
More Aussie WINNING from DTS.

And extra bonus points for the link about the Maillard reaction.

That is all too often bogusly referred to as caramelization and have been guilty myself.

Easy Scheeze is the ultimate processed fromage product.

I use to buy the stuff by the case for use out in the bush of Alaska.

Hot sauce, Sailor Boy Pilot Bread, and spray scheeze could be dinner!

The Cholula onions are definitely happenin'.

Is there anything I don't like about this burger?

Nope.
 
TB, I used to be a cheese snob. Then I checked what a Philly Cheesesteak was all about.

Cheeze wiz was the cheese of choice...Really? What is this cheeze wiz stuff. Never had it before...Never heard of actually

Went shopping and found some yellow processed goop in a jar. Oh noes, is this it?

Got home and tasted it. Meh. Tried it again. Meh. Put it on a burger with dill pickles and other stuff. Woohoo!

My name is Deathtosnails and I can't stop buying this stuff.

I need help. I used to eat real cheese. Quality stuff. Like $30/k.g.

Now I'm eating cheese coloured baby poop.

Help me!!!
 
Ain't no shame there DTS.

I love my cotswold, double glou's, and goat cheese.

But some 'thangs are just meant to be.

The Sharp Cheddar Easy Cheese makes a damn good popper and in combo with store bought chemically enhanced bacon bits can transform a good popper into greatness.

Truth is truth.

The power of spray cheese cannot be denied or ignored.
 
Thanks TB! I feel better about myself and now I won't feel the need to look around before I put the next jar of Easy Cheese in my shopping basket :D

But still need help getting off this stuff. It's like cheese flavoured crack atm.

By the way, we don't get the spray version here...Maybe they don't trust us with pressurised canisters of cheese :(
 
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