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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
What?

In jars?

Here we have Easy Cheese with the little straw like tube that you push on.

The stuff splooges out like that silly string stuff you've seen in the Tom Hanks flick, "Big".

My friends and I always erroneously called it "spray cheese".

Probably because the stuff is propelled out of the can by an aerosol of some kind.

A can set aside for personal use was good eats and great fun.

Especially drunk.

Open mouth, tilt head back, and give your mouth several douches of hot sauce and then insert the push nozzle in your pie hole and squirt in a big gob of the scheezy goodness.

When used in such a fashion, it makes you just feel sooooooo dirty.

I like it.

A LOT!
 
I usually avoid this thread like the plague...

...and now I remember why!!!! Tooooooo much greatness that makes me instantly hungry!!!!

Cholula pickled onions????????? Now I could get behind THAT!

Cheez Whiz and Squeezy Cheez.....those are just FUN! ah, Life's Simple pleasures!!!!!! :D
 
I thought the burger thread needed some love so....

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Screw the gasser were going charcoal tonight

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Ran outta pickles its a sad sight

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Double decker cooked just right with no foo foo

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ZD I would rock the hell out of that burger!

Probably only be able to get half of it down though.

I have found though, leftover homemade burgers, either cold or heated up are still dang good.

Yours look CHINGON!
 
Looks good, put some canyons in the middle of those patties so they stick to perfect form! 80/20 or 75/25? next year grow your own cucs and make some pickles. Super simple and they low away store bought for many reasons.
 
zd - I'm loving that you didn't overcook the burgers, but I'm still hatin' on the BP...... Look fantastic otherwise!
 
zd - I'm loving that you didn't overcook the burgers, but I'm still hatin' on the BP...... Look fantastic otherwise!

Gemme...

Your BP radar is malfunctioning. Ain't no BP on deez burgers! It's crazy salt.

Oh snap...just checked the ingredients of the CaJohns Fire Dust I put on the fries. You win.....it has BP!
 
Burgers tonight, patties mixed with Ned Kelly Chillis, Salt and spices, no pepper haha.

Sourdough bread for buns, spread top and bottom with Mango Jalapeno sauce, bacon, onion, pickles, burgers covered in mozzarella, cooked etc.

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YUM

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Dang Booma!

That 'thang is the H-bomb!

You had me at mango jalapeno.

The sharp edges on that toasted bread would probably cut my mouth.

But I'm like honey badger.

And I don't care.
 
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