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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
My other favorite burger bun is the Mexican cemita. NOW I believe I have TB's attention lol. Seriously though, the first time I had this bun (a Mexican food truck) I was like... holy shit... this bun would rock for burgers!

Brioche
Cemita

My top 2.
 
Damn bro, this is why you're my favorite THP chef. DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
My other favorite burger bun is the Mexican cemita. NOW I believe I have TB's attention lol. Seriously though, the first time I had this bun (a Mexican food truck) I was like... holy shit... this bun would rock for burgers!

Brioche
Cemita

My top 2.

I can't say I have much experience with authentic cemita's or torta buns for that matter but I will say every burger I have ever had on a brioche bun has been awful.

Usually dry ditch dry and crumbly.

And all from so-called "chef's".

Same for pretzel buns.

Another one I can't stand is a ciabatta bun for a burger.

Ciabatta is Italian for "this burger is going to suck with this bun".

I've got a stone groove for Martin's Potato Rolls.

Same for those Pepperidge Farm Slider Buns.

They are both most excellente'!
 
I've heard you say that before TB and they must be fresh. I never liked ciabatta, I thought it was dense and dry, until I had a fresh one, and you could literally squish it with one finger. I was like hell, this is ciabatta? MUST get fresh. That being said I don't like ciabatta for burgers, brioche is my bun. And fresh is delish. It's similar to the plain white bun just a tad sweeter (sometimes) and richer from the eggs, and has a glossy top. And brioche is inherently moist so dry just means old. Now get to the bakery pronto! In the AM of your cook.

A cemita is like Mexican brioche with sesame seeds, so awesome for burgers!
 
Yeah ciabatta is not good for burgers. Prosciutto, fresh mozz, roasted peppers, hot peppers, balsamic.

Bagels are made in the morning and stale by 4 pm. They also get denser as they sit there until 4. Best fresh out of the oven (warm and soft). Just goes to show how different bread gets by the hour. And if you are not getting your bread fresh you really don't know what it is supposed to taste like.
 
I've heard you say that before TB and they must be fresh. I never liked ciabatta, I thought it was dense and dry, until I had a fresh one, and you could literally squish it with one finger. I was like hell, this is ciabatta? MUST get fresh. That being said I don't like ciabatta for burgers, brioche is my bun. And fresh is delish. It's similar to the plain white bun just a tad sweeter (sometimes) and richer from the eggs, and has a glossy top. And brioche is inherently moist so dry just means old. Now get to the bakery pronto! In the AM of your cook.

A cemita is like Mexican brioche with sesame seeds, so awesome for burgers!

Sadly the nearest good bakery is 45 minutes away down in Plano.

There's a local Mexican joint that specializes in some groceries and Mexican meats and even has a Mexican deli.

The one time I went in, I didn't like the looks of things.

Nothing looked very fresh.

One good thing is the local Try-N-Save that makes fresh every day butter flour tortilla's.

Sofa King awesome!!!

But those ain't for burgers.
 
Best buns for burgers are potato-bread buns, or the traditional sesame seed bun.

And I know THP hates 'em, but I like to be liking me some fresh, sweet kaiser rolls for burgers. Preferably the kind with the onions baked into the top. Mmmmm
 
Whoever called me and egg snob, you sonzabeeotches?!?!?!?!

I ain't never raised ma nose at any eggs prepared on THP.

'cept for that one dude that made a chicken omelet. YAKKKKCJHCHCHC!!!

That's just so unnatural, I think I'd prefer Balut with lots of Hollandaise and Tobasco sauce.


In other news, Today is DEC. 6th. It's legal so,... :high: :high: :high:
 
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