Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!

 

[texas blues]

Yes she is here, I did take out my cast iron the other day and take it or a walk around the house because I miss it.  If you don't mash it some before you put the onions on then how do you get them to sit on the ball?  Oh, and that was the first two.  After them, I figured out to mash them a little more so the onions really stuck in the meat.  I should have taken pics of the later ones.  Chingon.

 
Yeah I use a little ice cream scoop just like George in the video. 
 
Plop a loose ball down, season with salt, and pile on super thin onions, then after about 30 seconds, no more, smash it.
 
It'll be pretty thin and you want to put more onions than might seem necessary as they're so thin.
 
If the pan is the right temp no more than 45 seconds to a minute a side is done. 
 
More than that and its over cooked.
 
It takes a bit of doing several times to really get it down perfect.
 
Last time I did it I ground my own chuck, used just salt, onions, and a squishy bun just like the video.
 
I purposely avoided using cheese or any other toppings or condiments.
 
You really taste the beef like never before in a burger.
 
The onions lend a sweetness to it and enhance the beefy flavor.
 
Best burger I ever made and ate.
 
Don't get me wrong, I still love my INO animal style but grinding your own chuck and cooking it at home in cast iron blows any restaurant burger away.
 
BLOWS THEM AWAY!
 
Another riff I also tried was subbing super thin sliced jalapeno instead of the onion.
 
Talk about a come to Jesus moment!
 
It was so damn good only Jesus Himself could have invented the 'thang.
 
I'm pretty sure that most of the best 'thangs in life He invented.
 
C'mon now!
 
Dude changed water into wine!

 

[The Count]

 
 
Another riff I also tried was subbing super thin sliced jalapeno instead of the onion.
 
 
 
 

I'm smashing out some burgers this weekend and I am doing this for sure.  I usually cook my sliced jalepenos and serranos in skillet while doing the patties, but why not just cook em together!

 

[texas blues]

I'm smashing out some burgers this weekend and I am doing this for sure.  I usually cook my sliced jalepenos and serranos in skillet while doing the patties, but why not just cook em together!

 
If you're going to do fresh jalapaeno's and/or serrano's it might not be the same.
 
Reason is that only 2 minutes in the pan might not yield the right result.
 
Then again, I haven't tried fresh chile's like that.
 
You might well be on to something.
 
Slice 'em up super thin and posty that sheeit up.
 
I gotz to know now how it comes out.
 
Matter of fact I need to try fresh chile's my own self to see the truth doing so.

 

[The Count]

 
If you're going to do fresh jalapaeno's and/or serrano's it might not be the same.
 
Reason is that only 2 minutes in the pan might not yield the right result.
 
Then again, I haven't tried fresh chile's like that.
 
You might well be on to something.
 
Slice 'em up super thin and posty that sheeit up.
 
I gotz to know now how it comes out.
 
Matter of fact I need to try fresh chile's my own self to see the truth doing so.

I usually slice them about the thickness of pickled jalepenos, maybe a little thinner, and cook them up on a low-med. heat while doing the patties.  I think on the higher heat and sliced really thin they might work.  I only cook mine enough to soften them up  but still have a bit of crunch. 
 
And I too use an ice cream scoop for making the balls.  This is the one I use and it works great, much better than a measuring cup http://www.amazon.com/OXO-SteeL-Ice-Cream-Scoop/dp/B00004OCM9/ref=sr_1_4?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1389329681&sr=1-4

 

[texas blues]

I usually slice them about the thickness of pickled jalepenos, maybe a little thinner, and cook them up on a low-med. heat while doing the patties.  I think on the higher heat and sliced really thin they might work.  I only cook mine enough to soften them up  but still have a bit of crunch. 
 
And I too use an ice cream scoop for making the balls.  This is the one I use and it works great, much better than a measuring cup http://www.amazon.com/OXO-SteeL-Ice-Cream-Scoop/dp/B00004OCM9/ref=sr_1_4?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1389329681&sr=1-4

 
You sir need no advice or help from anyone here.
 
You already know how to get down with it.
 
Post that sheeit up!
 
Texan's are passionate about many 'thangs.
 
Chile. BBQ. CFS. Tex-Mex. And on and on....
 
And burgers 'especially.
 
After all. 
 
Fletcher Davis did it in Athens TX, long before anyone else 'cept Jesus.

 

[thirdcoasttx]

What you know about dinosaur shaped chicken nugget burgers with mayo, ldhs pink label, cheese and pickles?

 

[JayT]

We're getting punked...

 

[texas blues]

Dinosaur nugget sandwich.
 
First gator in the pescetarian thread.
 
And now this.
 
Fried chicken in a burger thread.
 
And the worst part is the gator came from LA of which all LA citizen's are considered honorary Texans.
 
Worse still is the chicken dinosaur butt nuggets  came from an actual Texan.
 
For shame.
 
FOR SHAME!

 

[JayT]

See what happened since you went hippy?  I blame you TB.

 

[texas blues]

See what happened since you went hippy?  I blame you TB.

 
Why me?
 
I'll have you know as soon as I get home next week I'll be postying up a burger or 2.
 
Real deal man sheeit style in cast iron like GOD intended.
 
I'd never go full hippy.

 

[JayT]

Best news I have heard all week!

 

[thirdcoasttx]

Thought you'd get a kick out of this. I figured if veggie burgers are allowed processed chicken dinosaurs would fly.

 

[The Hot Pepper]

Touche!
 
Mystery meat trumps quinoa in a burger thread!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
       

 

[texas blues]

Thought you'd get a kick out of this. I figured if veggie burgers are allowed processed chicken dinosaurs would fly.

 
I admit it was a pretty good punk job on yours truly.
 
Actually the most disdain and ridicule would not come from posting your butt nugget burger, veggie/quinoa burger or soy burger.
 
The most negative feedback with much woe and gnashing of teeth would be if you posted a BK, McDee's or Wendy's burger.
 
Sure, the argument could be made that they are real burgers but then are they?
 
For true, are they?
 
Posty up y'all!

 

[thirdcoasttx]

I cant get away from these stuffed burgers. I wanted to try sliders this weekend but I cant control the urge to make huge stuffed burgers. Today its gonna be stuffed with bacon (naturally) sharp chedder and monterrey jack cheese, 7 pot brainstrain flakes. Then topped with the usual bacon, pickles, american cheese, mayo and some type of ldhs. I havnt decided wich one yet.

 

[JoynersHotPeppers]

I cant get away from these stuffed burgers. I wanted to try sliders this weekend but I cant control the urge to make huge stuffed burgers. Today its gonna be stuffed with bacon (naturally) sharp chedder and monterrey jack cheese, 7 pot brainstrain flakes. Then topped with the usual bacon, pickles, american cheese, mayo and some type of ldhs. I havnt decided wich one yet.

Do you have a device or stuff your own?

 

[JayT]

Thirdcoast, make some and post some pics!!
 
And, TB when you gonna posty up some delicious burgerness?

 

[thirdcoasttx]

Do you have a device or stuff your own?

I have a press that presses two patties and then I use a spoon ( or my fingers) to make a "bowl" load whatever im putting in there, plop the two patties together and then kinda pinch the sides together to seal it up!

 

[JayT]

DO WANT!!!!!!

 

[Hells Kitchen]

DO WANT INDEED!!!! Looks like the patty has been smothered in the sauce then placed on the grill. True?
 
Just a quick snack from the other night. The buns were buttered then grilled in a fry pan. 
 
BBQ sauce / Tomato sauce + Franks and Sriracha
 

 

 

 
 
Sriracha + Franks
 

 

 
I was watching "Man vs Food" while devouring these. Anyone watch that show? It's awesome and can get some great ideas!