• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

pimp my cheap a$$ pizza

this thread is all about taking that cheap frozen pizza and making it into a master piece.

so ill break the cherry. wal-mart pizza,tomato,extra sharp cheeze,4 jalos,1 ghost,parm in a can,spinach,and homemade chili that has fresh scorps ,habs,jalos,ghost,and cayenne in it.

IMAG0410.jpg
 
Well here is my contribution...
I guess I'll have to call this " Pimp my Tortilla"
Now that's cheap...
I've been making what I call PizzaDillas for years.
Lived on cheap pizzas for too long.. Had to step up the ghetto pizza game.
Just cuz it's cheap a$$ pizza doesn't mean it has to taste like a$$...
1 tortilla:
IMG_5356.jpg

Sauce made to my liking:
IMG_5358.jpg

Blend of cheeses and throw on the stone:
IMG_5362.jpg

Done:
IMG_5363.jpg

make it look good:
IMG_5367.jpg

Oh yeah....
IMG_5369.jpg

That's right... Thin crust insanity..
IMG_5370.jpg

That's it for this episode of RoninKitchen...
 
What up bitches?

On sale 2 fer $7 bucks. I was too scared to buy 2.

IMG_3835.jpg


'Posed to be 100% for real scheeze. The origin of the milk used to make it though are in question. My money is on rat milk.

IMG_3836.jpg


mrs. blues had some minced black olives to use up and I like to be liking pickled 'peno's.

IMG_3837.jpg


I ginsued up some of my home made sun dried toms along with cheapass anchovies to top when the pizza came out.

IMG_3838.jpg


It looks good I think.

Then again.

I'm drinking wine I poured out of a plastic bag thats inside a box.

WTF could I possibly know about any thing good?

IMG_3840.jpg


This thang was really smelling great right out of the oven.

The crust had an excellent texture.

Reminded me of particle board used to make furniture sold in upper echelon stores.

Like Costco and Wally World.

IMG_3844.jpg


The evidence is circumstantial at best as to whether I really ate this sheeit.

IMG_3845.jpg


The anchovie's, 'peno's, and sun dried's, were the best 'thang about this pizza.

IMG_3842.jpg


I don't recall just how much of that Tombstone crap I actually ate.

Maybe half.

But I was starving and hadn't eaten all day.

I threw away the rest.
 
I am going to go on record and say I've seen it all.

Doomstone in the Blues Casa. And not one mention of Ranch dressing.

How the? Who the? What the hale is goin on here?

TB forfeited 1,989,347 calories for this? Another month of Soyrizo and rice crackers for you my friend.

I've seen it all....
 
I am going to go on record and say I've seen it all.

Doomstone in the Blues Casa. And not one mention of Ranch dressing.

How the? Who the? What the hale is goin on here?

TB forfeited 1,989,347 calories for this? Another month of Soyrizo and rice crackers for you my friend.

I've seen it all....

Plah!

Soyrizo.

After eating that pizza I now know where it comes from.

Ranch would indeed have been good.

But I don't waste good ranch on sheeit like that.
 
Oh THIS is excellent!!!!

The oven's been off limits lately, but I don't think I can resist this much longer!!!!!!

I have one rule for my pimped out frozen pizzers......I gotta have sumpthin' to dip that hard a$$ crust into.

Ranch, blue cheez dressing, tzatziki ......if I'm busting out the Red Baron, I'm sure as heck not counting cals that night! ;)

Nice work everyone! Keep 'em comin'!!!!
 
I woke up and saw these and I knew what had to be done ...

We keep dough for 'real' pizza in the fridge most all of the time - and it takes a lot of space - so there was no way I was going to buy some frozen POS just to eat some POS ...

HOWEVER ... I like a me some French bread pizza now and again, especially those fuckers that come in the crispers w/ the little, thick pepperoni quarters, so ...

BOOM, we had a Pepperidge Farm scheezy garlic bread just chillin' and while I was fetching it ... holla, we have frozen Nathan's dogs w/ a healthy ice layer protecting them <g> ... I'm in bizness ... and this is toast right? Who says you can't have something like Texas toast for breakfast? ...

But, it's breakfast, and I want some eggs for some reason ... what to do? ... I know ... I'll use some tepins and scallions (leftover from the other night's chili) and throw down on some sour cream and tomato sauce's ugly half-sister - Heinz 51 baby ...

What follows literally made Danielle gag ... and yet ... was awesome at once ...

I present this morning my only entry into this thread, for sure ...

26677746.jpg


bf07eb65.jpg


c6e47894.jpg


8c8ba063.jpg


81801e3f.jpg


c55b8abd.jpg


56f69a3d.jpg


Food this ghetto doesn't even deserve wasting a paper plate, so ...

2f5c7df9.jpg


And since I never roll up slices, well ... why TF not ...

5e1f7407.jpg


I'm out.
 
Awesome GM.

I'd put some ranch dressing on it too.

The name of this thread should really be changed to...

Ghetto Pizza: I Shit You Not!
 
Awesome GM.

I'd put some ranch dressing on it too.

The name of this thread should really be changed to...

Ghetto Pizza: I Shit You Not!

the best moment ... half way through slicing the dog, i start slicing on the diagonal because you know, aesthetics ... which cracked me up ... which made danielle come check on me ... which resulted in her gagging over the squirt of Heinz in the sour cream ...

oh, well, had fun ... that unfortunate mess actually tasted good, and i'm not sure how i feel about that ...
 
That. Looks. Gross.
Lol.

And somehow I bet it worked.
I applaud your creativity.

Oh, you pimped the f**k out of that garlic bread alright!



Holy shit, there is a reflection of ghost titties in the second picture from the bottom!
Dude your house is haunted by paranormal strippers!
 
That. Looks. Gross.
Lol.

And somehow I bet it worked.
I applaud your creativity.

Oh, you pimped the f**k out of that garlic bread alright!



Holy shit, there is a reflection of ghost titties in the second picture from the bottom!
Dude your house is haunted by paranormal strippers!

i'm kind of disappointed that it tasted so good ... taylor ham would have put it over the top, yo ...
 
Lol. I actually had to go back and look, and they do look like ghost titties. Leave it to you, frydad . . . .


Nice garlic bread pimping, grant. You too, TB. Gotsta get me some kroger's special pepperoni and see how I can trick it up . . .

Holy shit, there is a reflection of ghost titties in the second picture from the bottom!
Dude your house is haunted by paranormal strippers!
 
Aight.

We found TWOmbstones way back, under, behind, on top of, next to a whole lotta other shit in the freezer last night, BINGO!
Long day at work, easy. But let's pimp this shit like we always do, and take some Pictureesqueses.
Great way to get rid of leftovers, our usual "Pimpin" style.

Mine, 4 Meat.
CJ's, Supreme.
(Also for lunch today y'all, we ain't Tombstoners)

Mine,
Black Olive, Fresh thin sliced Japs, Red Onion, Green Chiles, Fresh Mozz, and a BUTTLOAD of Tillamook, sprinkled with Unfortunate Squirell or whatever it's called.
(LDHS's it's fricken awesome.)

2b9a3ac4.jpg


bed54250.jpg


505ef176.jpg


be97de5f.jpg



CJ's,
Black Olives, Marinated Mozz Balls, Red Onion, Fresh Basil, Fresh Japs, Jap/Garlic Salami, Red Chile Flakes, Garlic Powder, and Fresh Parm.

77e5d7d1.jpg


96ca3bd2.jpg


Both in the oven at whatever the package said, 400&ordm;?

81fd7add.jpg


Served with a tiny vat of Ranch dressing. Just call me Velvet Jones.

b6de4997.jpg
 
KABOOM! That is the sound of pimpin' pizza awesomeness being dropped! I am lovin' the black olives, the different cheeses and the ranch dressing! TB you missed the boat on this one. THIS Is pimp my pizza week. Not last week.
 
Back
Top