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Smasehd for life

Ya,I think I caught the last years of being cool to go to Mexico.
Drugs ruined the Border towns.
Used to only worry about paying off the cops...
Now you can catch some serious hurting for relatively nothing.

Really sucks,I met some of the best people there that I can't go visit anymore because of the crap going on now.
I have a 99 yr. (partnered with a friend)lease on a place that at high tide you can almost fish off the back porch.
Clam and oyster beds all over the place.

Another friend has a house on the cliffs above the ocean.

Afraid to go there now,might get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time en route.

Too bad,Mexico can be/WAS a REALLY GREAT place.
Even the high end resorts aren't safe if you go into town.
The crap knows the resort vacationers have $,you are screwed if the wrong guys see you in town.

Sounds like you are in between a rock and hard spot with the Woman.

Have to risk sobriety MAYBE(NOT,fake it) for a day or 2.
Side note-easy to fake it-just before meeting the person who wants you sober,eat a hot pepper.
Red face,snots running from your nose etc. look like withdrawals.
Pretend to be the total opposite as you are under normal conditions(drunk)a nice touch is to piss them off by hating the things they like(even if you really don't care).
Be a total a$$hole.
If that doesn't work put puddles of cream of mushroom soup and crean corn in front of the bathroom door with a touch of katchup for effect.
Apologise for the mess but make others clean it up...If you have anything that smells really bad add it to the puddle.
Keep your bible handy(see what a bible is good for in this post),if you did a good job you might need to hit up your stash to keep from puking for real after you created the perfect pile of fake puke.

When she sees - she likes you better drunk she'll get you all the booze you can drink.

NOBODY likes a newly sobered up drunk!
NOBODY!

Excuses work to get people to not want you to be sober.

Whenever ANYONE wants you to go ANYWHERE with them(other than a bar),say you are scheduled to mentor your AA partner(whatever they call it) and gotta go out RIGHT NOW to help the struggling guy from falling off the wagon.
Just go to a bar that that lady never heard of.
Buy a 5th and watch the sun set somewhere or?

Cary a Bible helps too(hollow it out so it fits a hip flask).
The bigger the bible the better.

Just trying to help out.

Since we don't know if the lady or kids have jobs/income,AND you have a job already that lets you pay for booze and growing pods.
WHY WOULD ANYONE QUIT THEIR JOB?
I'd think having a job that lets you stay drunk and pays the bills would be golden.

JT,see what I mean about light weight wanna bee's. LOL
Gotta have your ducks in a row.
Gotta have an even minimal income to even buy stuff to make homebrew in hard times.
No name beer,blue lable vodka etc. costs $.
Pan handling is not an option.
That is too amatuer.
Work all day rattling a paper cup for spare change isn't professional.Right up there with drinking the liquid out of bar trash cans.
At least the guys from Cannery row had the happy jug.
 
I think I've been there before Scovie.

I do know Blues,Booze,BBQ and wresting go together.Trailer trash and/waking up with big Bertha go hand in hand too.
K Mart Blue light specials used to rule. LOL
ALMOST forgot NASCAR.
Destruction derby too.

Seems like it's called any port in a storm.

As long as you wake up with booze and a smile on your face nothing else matters,all the rest you deal with when it happens-per the song lyrics. :)

Cool video but it needs to be of the guy performing so you can see the faces etc he makes during certain parts of it.
Cool none the less.
 
Nope,just getting my buzz on for work.
Just a little nostalgic.

I work grave yard,sleep for a couple hours during the day,between liquor store runs.

The best , Truth full stuff is posted at dark thirty my time,when you are just hung over or waking up.

It's been 30+ yrs since I've been accused of being sober.
Sounds like you aren't into the art and the life style.

Drunk doesn't mean just being drunk and making it work for a short period of time.
It's a life long life style,commitment.
Most times what I post are stuff I didn't remember most of.
The few Blurry stuff was told to me latter and I have some kinda rememberance of the facts of what went on.

Sober,NEVER.
different degrees of drunk,at first,ya,you got me there.

Not toilet hugging drunk.That is for Amatuers

You are right,almost.
A pro doesn't get that drunk at any time,they are always that drunk(not just buzzed),sick never happens.Passing out does...

If you never drank home brew takillya you don't have a clue I think.

Granted I haven't had any shine in a while but I do try and keep from dealing with the day to day crap from messing with my buzz,sobriety sucks.

Since you are an expert on Sobriety.

What am I doing wrong Darthpepper?
I am always interested in being better at doing what I'm doing for my lifes profession.

OR were you just trying to copy THP's post to be cool?

I've only started my 2nd fifth of 151 tonight.
I might have miss interpeted your-SOBER post but I doubt it.
Ya 151 only keeps the edge off.BUT I'm far from sober or hangover territory.

Gotta remember,Mexico was a long time ago.
I gotta deal with store bought booze,Home brew etc. these days.
Just gotta drink more now or distill my own stuff.

I agree,the cost of booze etc. is stupid high.
In the 80's it was cheap,case of quarts of beer was $4.00.
Sixers were $1.25 - $1.75.

Sober-NEVER.
More or less drunk,Maybe at times.

Stop accusing people of things you don't know about.


Tell us about when you got drunk in Pen. and woke up in some place like tahiti with a coconut shell glass of home brew and no idea how you got there until some one told you.

ON A SERIOUS NOTE:

Don't take any of my posts as offensive,I'm just having fun as I think most posters are
I got an E mail from a couple people, I guess from recovering drunks.
They didn't like the tone of my posts.
Totally missed the fact that my posts,True or not Aren't meant for anything but entertaianment purposs.
I'm not trying to recruite drunks or make a life style desirable.
Just posting stories of the past in my life,slightly embellished at times.
I think this post was mainly for entertainment purposes anyway in the first place.

I hope the guys recovering get it together.
BUT being pissed about my stories isn't what anyones problem with drinking is caused by.
I'll post my stories when I feel like it.

It seems to be entertaining and they kill my 14 hour night shifts.

I'm sorry some are overcoming drinking problems or whatever.
You caused them not people like me.
Nobody forced you to like booze or drink it at any given time.

I'll try and remenber enough about the takillya goat bbq soon.
Might take a few more fifths of 151.
We'll see.

Glad a few of you like my stories,kills the boredom at work and reminds me of the good old days when I was young and thought I'd live forever-was bullet proof.
Hope you enjoy my stories as much as I like posting them.

Don't give me crap because I posted in a SMASHED FOR LIFE titled post(Ya I know the title was spelled different).

I have been reading this since it started.
I just decided it was getting to be the same old stuff mostly posted over and over asgain.
I thought I'd add some stories to the post to break up the monotony or whatever.
Maybe others have similar stories like mine that they can post too.
Just trying to break the ice and have fun telling about my travels in Takillya land.

If nothing else Scovie and JT like the stories so far.
I might not be able to post a bunch of my experiances.
They were rather blurry and hard to remenber.
I'll do my best though. LOL

Just almost remembered PEACHES,She was the chick-mooey Bonita ,that showed me how to properly drink beer,lime and salt in a bar or house of ill repute in Mexico,can't remember which.
Right boob was salt and the left was lime or visa versa-who cares,take a sip of beer and lick salt and lime from the proper places.
Beer tasted great! :)
Her boobs had tats of peaches on them,100% true story.
NEVER PLAY AGAINST HER in a game of pool,8 ball or 9 ball,YOU WILL LOOSE.
VERY cool Lady.
Showed us the ropes in Puerto Panasco.
Nope never went to bed with her.
She was an ex Hippy chick that ended up in Mexico.
Very Pretty and a great friend to have.
Like I said,Mexico was such a Great place before the drug wars.
 
Reading this was difficult.  I drank all my booze last night and now my left eye doesn't work.  I was going to work today, but that may have to be put on hold.  I may have to go to the bar and pay off my bets from the football game last night instead.  Don't mind Darth, he is one of us.  Hell, he helped me molest a man sized squirrel we found on the street in Kutztown.  If that doesn't say drunk, I don't know what does.  I do question his preparedness though.  The man brought two coolers full of beer to Bowers with no ice!  No worries, I had my Apple Pie Moonshine in the car.  Now where did I leave my kid?
 
Once after a night of drinking Mexican beer ,lime and salt with Peaches one of my eyes was messed up too.
Found out during an especially big chug I accidently almost poked my eye out going for the lime.The salt nipple was hard...
Accidents do happen.
Was she at the bar you were at?

I don't know about holding work,but Peaches Salt and lime holders were a pure pleasure to hold or behold.
Both I guess,depends on your point of view...

Hope your eye is all right soon.

Just don't drink too many beers with Peaches too fast,all at once...no matter how much fun it is at the time.
Her nips could poke a bunch of eyes out if the drinker gets sloppy.

I love eating peaches with salt and lime. LOL

PS.
Nothing wrong with no ice,he brought the Beer.The important part.
Eventually it must have been consumed.
I assume the ice problem was solved eventually.

Haven't had Apple Pie since I hitched through Tenn. years ago.
Hard apple cider and shine,good stuff.
Ya I see some guys use regular cider these days.

Reminds me about a trip I hitched in Arkansas in the late 70's.
Shine with a hand full or 2 of rye added to the mash.
 
I have to wonder why ex-booze pats are hangin' around in this bar?! hahahaha
 
I like your stories Smoke! They're long, and I have the attention span of a gnat, so I don't always read the whole thing. But what I read, I get a kick out of!  :)
 
So, at work I found an empty (empty! pfft...how rude!) box of Magners Irish Hard Cider. Sounds intriguing!
Anyone had it? I'll never find it in Twisp, but if it's tasty, I'll find it somewhere!
 
JayT said:
I may have to go to the bar and pay off my bets from the football game last night instead.
Click to expand...
Betting on the Steelers is proof enough for me... YOU ARE DRUNK!


I got stories. yeah, sure I do. But right now I am confused and a little disturbed that people are reading in 'Smashed for Life' and then sending PMs saying you need help, or somehow you shouldnt post your stories... plah! It's an epidemic I suppose, people find something good that works for them, now EVERYBODY needs to do it that way. Well, :cheers: to you.

View attachment 7430
 
Huh?  What are we talking about?  A couple people that I owed beers to didn't show up.  BONUS!  So I drank them for them.  Now I think I might take a nap.
 
Octopus chasing a starfish! :rofl:
JayT said:
Reading this was difficult.  I drank all my booze last night and now my left eye doesn't work.  I was going to work today, but that may have to be put on hold.  I may have to go to the bar and pay off my bets from the football game last night instead.  Don't mind Darth, he is one of us.  Hell, he helped me molest a man sized squirrel we found on the street in Kutztown.  If that doesn't say drunk, I don't know what does.  I do question his preparedness though.  The man brought two coolers full of beer to Bowers with no ice!  No worries, I had my Apple Pie Moonshine in the car.  Now where did I leave my kid?
Click to expand...
In all fairness one of the coolers had ice :D
 
Ok, he did have beer.  I will give him that.  I did not bring beer, just shine.  BUT...  I knew where all the bars were.  Even one in walking/stumbling distance.  I was the prepared one.
 
JayT said:
Ok, he did have beer.  I will give him that.  I did not bring beer, just shine.  BUT...  I knew where all the bars were.  Even one in walking/stumbling distance.  I was the prepared one.
Click to expand...
And at least one in man sized chipmunk molesting distance :D
 
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