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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
The first one I encountered was at TGI Fridays..many years ago...The fish bowl glass caught me eye...not to mention the pretty girl serving it...
 
ExtremeBurn said:
k, i've been drinkin belve all day.... if I warm up a piece of zza can i post the pic lol it's as good as cookin imo lol:lol:

That qualifies..but....you have to take the pic with a slice on your head! Nice.

Cheers, TB.
 
ExtremeBurn said:
k, i've been drinkin belve all day.... if I warm up a piece of zza can i post the pic lol it's as good as cookin imo lol:lol:

Nope warming something up does not constitute cooking. You must put something together and cook it for it to qualify. I am not posting pics of mine because I am drunk and lazy, but rest assured it is good.:lol:
 
JayT said:
Nope warming something up does not constitute cooking. You must put something together and cook it for it to qualify. I am not posting pics of mine because I am drunk and lazy, but rest assured it is good.:lol:

I figured I'd give him a "gimme" since he could be really f#%ked up! Thusly the stipulation of doing the pic with the slice of pizza on his head. Drunks will do anything drunk! Well..at least once anyway.

Cheers, TB.
 
JayT said:
Yeah, but he had no booze, bbq, or peppers.

Tonight is "Popper Night" and there will definitely be booze.

:sounds klaxon:

:aaaaaahhhooooooooooga!:

:Sounding General Quarters:

:Imminent Threat of Attack:

Cheers, TB.
 
Hey ya'll. Not content with trying to destroy the Blues Kitchen with the poppers on Friday Night, I gave it another go as I had some habs and stuffing leftover. I whipped those together right quick with the help of my good friend "anejo". Joining the party were some wings I had gotten. I hit those with some Lawry's and granulated garlic and a bit of sweet paprika. Dusted with flour and into the hot oil of the dutch. Cast iron frying is one of the 7 wonders of the world I reckon. The wings came out and were immediately tossed in a blend of melted butter and my own habanero hot sauce. Perfect with a little blue cheese dressing on the side.

The hab poppers...

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Ah yes...

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Cheers ya'll, TB.
 
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