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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Friday night and I have a hankering for some naan bread pizza. Its quick and easy and even a drunk caveman can do it. The cheese is a mexi style and lower in cholesterol than your run of the mill. This one only comes in at 7% rather than the typical 15-20 percent. It also has a goat cheese like sharpness to it that makes it very tasty. Pair that with red and green bells, onion, pineapple and pickled 'peno's and its so tasty I don't miss the meat. Here's some hippy food porn ya'll....

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Cooked this baby on the pizza stone on the grill.

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Don't kid yourself....this was tasty good and pretty dang healthy eats! The beer is for "medicinal" purposes....

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I reckon Jay and others will bring the smack talk for my hippy meatless diet of late but that's cool and the gang...I've lost 12 pounds in 3 weeks. Dig it!

Hey you do what you have to do to get healthy brother. I can dig the Naan pizza. I'd hit it. I know you will weigh in occasionally with the UDS bbq and that is all we ask. Glad to see you have not forsaken the Hornitas! :lol: Rock on.
 
Jay, thanks heaps my brother for the support!

Paul, I get the naan bread from two different joints here in town. One is Albertsons grocery store, the other is the "hippy" joint, aka Whole Foods.
 
Well tonight ill be getting stuff prepped for a BBQ Jay and I are going to

chicken and pork 6lb burrito

just wait, its gonna be awesome
 
I apologize for my absence from the best thread on THP...please accept this token as an offering those exceptional chef's, drunk they may be...

Ribs...rotisserie, AJ style...

ribs with the obligatory drink....drink of choice today is Crown & 7 Up...wedge of lime squeezed ever so gently so not to bruise the juice...roflmao...

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if you look closely you can see the recipe for the rub I used...an original that is delicious...

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tied and prepped for the rotisserie...

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on the spit @ 1325..........

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pic taken at 1425...geez...these crown and 7s are slipping down right nicely...

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too bad you missed the ribs....here are some final shots...and by the way...they were very spicyness deliciousness goodness...this is 2 hours 15 minutes on the rotisserie...

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plated...very simple...salad, ribs, 2 red savinas and three hot banana peppers...already ingested...very pleasant afterburn going on with probably a bunch of endorfins running around...

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got a gig tonight from 9-1 at the elephant...hope I didn't have too many crowns...
 
AJ you may not post often in here, but when you do... Sweet Jeeesus!!! Man those look awesome. :onfire:

Wheebz, 6lbs of burrito? Holy crap! I guess I don't need to cook much else then do I? Well, I will anyway. We are going to have my version of the Four Horseman Burger. This one ain't gonna be for sissies. :hell:
 
Ok I have a post that I believe this thread was originally intended for. Been drijkin a bit. Vodka and tonic, and beers. I ate a dozen Defcon wings and am still hungry so in between posts here and my next drink I decided to make a sandwich. It was originally going to be just a normal ham sandwich, but it morphed into this:

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From the top down, basil leaves, sliced orange hab, pepperjack cheese, bbq sauce, bacon, Black Forest ham, spicy ham, pork roll, sauteed onions and peppers (they were leftover). I think that was all. Microwaved it for two minutes. It's a helluva mess to eat.:lol:
 
Good Lord Jay! Yum Yum YumYumYumYum!!!!!!!!!!!

I say WIN!!!!!!

I need a drool proof keyboard when cruizin this thread............... :D :lol:
 
I'm in.

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Kielbasa Grillowa

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Ribeye with some Penzy's Chicago Steak Seasoning

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Ribeye with Grillowa

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Uinta Tilted Smile

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Uinta Tilted Smile

The Ribeye is a pretty good size, should be tasty with the Steak Seasoning, the Grillowa is a big one, these suckers are very juicy, quite different than regular Kielbasa, they are already cooked, but will put them on the grill for alittle while. The brew for the day is a very nice one, tasty. The grill is going, so pretty shortly this should be cooked and I'll post up some more pics.
 
alright here we go

the party JayT and I were going to go to was canceled today, so I have all this stuff that I dont want to freeze, so I decided to cook it all anyways

Pork and Chicken Burritos

I actually made separate burritos, 3 pork, 2 chicken

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home made salsa from stuff from the garden

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dried Del Arbol peppers with cumin, thyme, minced garlic, sauteed in pepper infused olive oil and some butter

This is going to be mixed with sour cream for the sauce on top of the 'Rito

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Pork marinated in olive oil, lime juice, cilantro, and fatali puree

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white rice steamed and then pan fried with mexican spices
 
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The sauce and refried beans mixed with Chipotle seasoning

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The spread of toppings

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the final product, this is just the pork one

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and the mothaf&^*&* money shot
 
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Started out good

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The Grillowa was awesome, very tasty with the Habby Pony

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Grillowa

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Ribeye, overcooked, but saved alittle by my Stubb's/Mega Death concoction

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Overcooked, but still tasty

Was on the computer, and forgot about the steak, the beer also kicked in. The flames kept coming back did not help. All in all still a very nice meal, and day.
 
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