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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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I have learned that I should not look through the drunken chef thread while hungry. The bite marks on my monitor are starting to take their toll.


Jamie
 
polarbearforge said:
I have learned that I should not look through the drunken chef thread while hungry. The bite marks on my monitor are starting to take their toll.


Jamie
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PBR, I hear ya! It's really a pain cleaning the slobber off the monitor all the time (from licking the monitor) and trying to dry out the keyboard from the drool.
:D

I hear there is a beer-proof keyboard out there somewhere. I'm going to have to look for the slobber proof keyboard!


MORE! MORE! MORE!.....howdoyalikeit-howdoyaliekeit... MORE! MORE MORE!

:D


EDIT- PBR instead of PBF! OOOPS :oops: left the original cuz it's funny~ Sorry PolarBear!

btw- food for the next 3 days is all DC/Smoker inspired.
 
inspired by P. Dreadie's post of black eyed peas and cabbage for the New Year!
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prep pic, note the glass
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and Seconds are NACHOS!
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Happy New Year!
 
That looks good.

Was watching a cooking show and thought I'd give the whole drunken chef thread a go.

I got drunk.

Chucked a whole bunch of stuff in a blender.

Squished it around a skewer and grilled it.

I even took lots of pictures showing the whole process with plenty of posed beer bottles in the background.

Unfortunately it looked like dog turd and tasted disgusting. I'm not going to inflict that on you good people.


At least I got drunk.
 
TB,
If I remember right, it all started with your pair of yellow cowboy boots and I made the "innocent" ;) comment that there are so many more uses for leather than yellow boots, and that doesn't include purses or wallets,
and it's been good fun ever since~
;)
:D

(just looked for the original thread...sigh...will keep looking)



BYW- The Black Eyed Peas were YUMMY, and Nachos are always a hit.


may be back with more~
 
megamoo said:
Chucked a whole bunch of stuff in a blender.

Squished it around a skewer and grilled it.

I even took lots of pictures.

At least I got drunk.
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Sequence of events- Wondering about the whole squishing in the blender and then skewering thing?!?!???
 
Well I was watching a cooking show and he did it with cut up bits of pork. All I had was beef mince. I figured that it all looks the same after a turn in the food processor so I just chucked in a few of my favourite spices and whizzed it up. I might have overcooked it cos it was really dry.

That's how I tend to cook anyway... read a whole bunch of recipes that are similar and then do something similar from memory and add extra of whatever I want. It works most of the time.
 
Company coming for breakfast so starting things off right with some Mimosa’s.
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Last night I nuked the potatoes so this morning I just need to dice up some onion, red and green bell peppers, slice up some Kielbasa and cut the potatoes into bite size pieces. Season with a little Lowry’s Season Salt. Then let everything get happy in the best Cast Iron.
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Not everyone can handle the heat so for those of us that can a little diced Jalapeno and Green Habinero’s
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Add a little sharp cheader and the diced peppers and it's time to eat!
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Hope eneryone has a great day today!
 
Well this is my first post and I hope it is ok for any to contribute to this thread! I was a bit drunk and looking through this thread earlier and decided to try something with what I had on hand. I see seen something simlar ina earlier post. Pics are horrible I know, but it was delicious!

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Reznik,
WELCOME! way to jump in here!


Awesome poppers! You can't go wrong with chile, bacon and cream cheese. Great first post, hope you have lots of fun, lots of great folks and tons if information here.

Salsalady
 
i dont know why I have never made poppers

i absolutely love them, and whenever Jay makes them i scarf them all up, but I never make my own

that might just have to change tomorrow, as its my 2nd day off in a row, chea chea!!!
 
WOW great to see somebody jump right in here with some great food, instead of "Hey I'm new here" Way to go reznik can't go wrong with bacon poppers :dance: :dance:
 
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