• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Click to expand...
I'd love to see a post after 30 and all that food is gone, but I'm assuming you're not dining alone. Damn nice looking football watchin chow.
 
actually I am dining alone hahaha

I just want left overs for the rest of the week

no one wants to come over and eat and watch football on my 70" in my basement with a full bar and a bunch of food

so ill just party by myself, although I do have my friends Mr. Beam and Mr. Daniels and Mr. Cuervo to help me along on this arduous journey
 
You need to teach your friends how to eat, dont get much better than that. .How bout I bring Mr. Keystone and invite Paulky and we'll beam over. At least you're planning on leftovers, but they're so much better hot off the grill or oven or whatever, so don't go into a protein coma.
 
well i had a random friend join the party tonight

Mr. Johnny Walker, and he was covered in Gold Label

finished off 3oz's of that, and now on to 3oz's of Crown Royal

and 9 beers
 
mom and friend of mom are currently taking over said kitchen, and I literally have so much freakin food left over i dont even want to cook anymore for fear of stuff going bad before i move to chicago in 2 weeks
 
Damn! I wish I hadn't had that birthday party to go to yesterday. I sure missed out. Good job Wheebz. You're not fooling anyone with that Bud Light though. We still know what a beer snob you are.
 
I know how Wheebz cooks. It is not a very specific measurement Geeme. First you must consume a bunch of beers and shots, and then just start tossing large amounts of whatever in.
 
Oh..... so what you're saying is that I should lower the levels of the liquid in the bottles on my kitchen counter a bit more, then I'll have a measurement epiphany..... suddenly everything will become clear.... :lol:

Yeah, I don't usually measure unless it's a bakery-type of item, but that phrase always makes me stop and laugh a bit.
 
geeme said:
Oh..... so what you're saying is that I should lower the levels of the liquid in the bottles on my kitchen counter a bit more, then I'll have a measurement epiphany..... suddenly everything will become clear.... :lol:

Yeah, I don't usually measure unless it's a bakery-type of item, but that phrase always makes me stop and laugh a bit.
Click to expand...

Yes that is exactly what I am saying. That is the true measure of a Drunken Chef. The measurements of how much booze is left in the bottle is the only one that really concerns us. :drunk:
 
Nah Paulie he'd love to have you. Hell, just wait until he leaves for Chicago in a couple of weeks, come on over, and we'll sneak in and drink all his booze while he's gone. If he questions me about it later, I'll just say it Pi.
 
JayT said:
Nah Paulie he'd love to have you. Hell, just wait until he leaves for Chicago in a couple of weeks, come on over, and we'll sneak in and drink all his booze while he's gone. If he questions me about it later, I'll just say it Pi.
Click to expand...
lol. Although photographic evidence of me is rarer than that of The Abonimble Snowman, he can track my whereabouts in Chicago, making you the more likely culprit!

Trying to pin it on me, real nice!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top