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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Yum Yum Yum, the other white meat. Beautiful Porkage geeme. Had carnitas tacos last night (not homemade). There is no better taco filling.
 
After a frustrating morning of rain, and an afternoon of frustration shopping ( I am one of the few women who cannot stand to shop).. I started drinking. :dance:

Luckily only Mike,I, and the twins tonight...so supper was pretty easy. After a few "Funny Faces" I cooked good ole spaghetti :)

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Used some of Brian's Habitually Orange with supper ... was super!

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Quick and easy

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Now time for more "Funny Faces"...twins are in bed!!! :beer:
 
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Thanks again to everyone who voted in the throwdown!
Hey Look! Pauly's Double-Dipping! :rofl:

Sorry, mate, we just got back from the first day at farmers market selling the fresh salsa and I'm fried...but not in a good way. :crazy: Up at 4:00am, drove 1.5 hours to get there in torrential rains...All day long it's been... "would you like to try some salsa? it's all fresh ingredients. No Double-dipping!"...(blahblahblah) [are we there yet?]

sorry for the sidetrack-

Congrats on C#3, Pauly! We've been out working and I haven't had time to keep up on all the going-ons. That soo-shee really looked yummy. And the DC chicken strips....oh yeah!




geeme- great looking plate of porkage! And I really liked your last TD entry. The origami was a great touch. As I said, haven't had time to keep up on everything.

This whole working for a living thing really cuts into my posting time!

OK, time to re-wine~
 
After a frustrating morning of rain, and an afternoon of frustration shopping ( I am one of the few women who cannot stand to shop).. I started drinking. :dance:


:beer:

McHottie, you're not as "few' as you think in the hate-to-shop category. We could hang out and have a GREAT time drinking and not shopping. :D



My idea of a bargain is a HUGE kettle I picked up for $60 from a job site. We were replacing a panel at a rental and I saw this LARGE pot through the window. I asked about it and was told the pot was purchased for a wedding party. When I asked how big it was, they did not know, but it is big enough to cook 5 goats for the wedding reception.

That's MY idea of a shopping SCORE!!

:dance:



Oh yea, and the food? PASTA ROCKS!
 
Hey Look! Pauly's Double-Dipping! :rofl:

Sorry, mate, we just got back from the first day at farmers market selling the fresh salsa and I'm fried...but not in a good way. :crazy: Up at 4:00am, drove 1.5 hours to get there in torrential rains...All day long it's been... "would you like to try some salsa? it's all fresh ingredients. No Double-dipping!"...(blahblahblah) [are we there yet?]

sorry for the sidetrack-

Congrats on C#3, Pauly! We've been out working and I haven't had time to keep up on all the going-ons. That soo-shee really looked yummy. And the DC chicken strips....oh yeah!





geeme- great looking plate of porkage! And I really liked your last TD entry. The origami was a great touch. As I said, haven't had time to keep up on everything.

This whole working for a living thing really cuts into my posting time!

OK, time to re-wine~


I should look in here more often, that looks amazing Paulky.

Thanks y'all!!! That really means a lot to me. :)


ROADTRIP!

Agreed. We all need to meet somewhere and have a giant feast! :woohoo:
 
GEEMEEEEEEEE!!!! Wow! Those pork tacos have inspired me. I'm going to make that just like you did! Looks like good basketball watching food to me. Next time just shoot that tequila, don't waste good melon juice.

MMCDTHH- (great abbreviation) - that spaghetti was a perfect dish! Simple, hot, delicious!!! Hope that bottle of gin was gone before the garlic bread was!
 
GEEMEEEEEEEE!!!! Wow! Those pork tacos have inspired me. I'm going to make that just like you did! Looks like good basketball watching food to me. Next time just shoot that tequila, don't waste good melon juice.

Thanks, FD! One thing - I would suggest smaller tomatoes, just get a "generous" pound. That large tomatoe had some tough, fibrous membrane inside which I had to cut out. Don't think I've ever run into that with a tomatoe before, not even a large one.
 
Even better...I've got a few home-growns that I need to use. I've been living off of tomato sandwiches lately. Glad to have another use!
 
You know, we really SHOULD do a "Chicks of THP" get-together. If it just happens to be on an island in the Caribbean, all the better!


Trinidad's an island in the Caribbean, pick up some native chiles, write it all off as a business trip....Oh Yeah! I'm In!


Non-chick party-crashers welcome! :dance:
 
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