The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[wheebz]

im thinking steak sammies tonight....

with tater tots

and lotza provolone cheese and mushrooms

yesssssss

 

[wheebz]

burned the shit out of my fingers on the burner though

went to pick it up with my right hand while it was still hot with a pad to clean it off in the sink, dropped the burner and grabbed it with my left hand so it didnt hit the floor, not even thinking of the fact that it was stupidly hot

yea I cant feel my thumb and my index finger on my left hand, they are starting to turn like a purplish gooey mush haha

 

[megamoo]

Ouch! too bad on the burns. You must have thought this is the Injured Chef thread. This thread is slightly different

edit: what I meant to say is... That steak burger looks awesome! but... WHERE'S THE BOOZE?

 

[geeme]

yea I cant feel my thumb and my index finger on my left hand, they are starting to turn like a purplish gooey mush haha

No pics, didn't happen....... ;o)




Seriously though, sorry to hear about your burn - those totally suck. I just threw it a kiss.... does it feel better?

 

[JayT]

DO NOT ask him for injury pics. HE WILL POST THEM! Nice looking sammy Wheebz. What kind of steak did you use? BTW, next time I see you I expect you will make me some of those shrimp!

 

[RocketMan]

thats the 2xIPA, not the regular

Haven't seen those down here, I'll have to pay attention next time I'm in the beer store. What's the difference between the 2 is it 2x the hops or 2x the time dry hopped? I really love the hop profile of Iniquity is it beyond that?

 

[wheebz]

it blows iniquity out of the water

let me put it this way

I hate IPA's, most of them are overly bitter, not balanced at all, and just toss a bunch of random hops in there just because

2x is actually perfectly balanced, and honestly the amount of dry hopping we do to this beer is just insane, BUT, it does come out really nice

 

[Greg H]

I used to hate hate hate IPAs until very recently. I agree though that it seems like a lot of breweries try to outdo each other in hoppiness/bitterness in some sort of sick arms race. Moderately hoppy I can live with, but I don't want my beer to taste like a raw plant.

 

[texas blues]

it blows iniquity out of the water

let me put it this way

I hate IPA's, most of them are overly bitter, not balanced at all, and just toss a bunch of random hops in there just because

2x is actually perfectly balanced, and honestly the amount of dry hopping we do to this beer is just insane, BUT, it does come out really nice

Your beer expertise is a FAIL for not posting pics. And as for IPA's, bitter is the style like it or not.

 

[LunchBox]

I think Father's Day is Sunday...or something like that. My wife asked what I would like to do...and since we have a screaing 2 month old, leaving the cave is out of the question. So...I decided ribs were in order. *I almost always smoke a dry rib.

These ingredients should work well for a rub...bonnets, arbol, nu-mex hots, and a bhut jolokia...and the other stuff...

Blend them down fine. My Chile-Head in training heard me in the kitchen...no pics...but he HAD to press the button on the chopper. He said he wanted to try it...I went first. I told him BBWWWWAAAANMMMMNANNNAAAAAA...which in 'lips and tongue are turning into lava' means, "NOPE".

Nice rack. Swine is fine.

Put just a dash on the rack...

Rub it in...

Close up of the goodness...

And off to the fridge 'til Sunday. 36 hours of seasoning. I'll warm it in the oven at about 225F to open the meat up a little more, and get the juices going, then smoke it over pecan for 5-6 hours.

Happy Father's Day!

I'll post up the progress on Sunday!

 

[megamoo]

and since we have a screaing 2 month old,

I have a theory on why the 2 month old is screaming

 

[paulky_2000]

I used to put hot sauce on Brandon's thumb to prevent him from sucking it....


.....he continued to do it till he was 5.

 

[LunchBox]

I used to put hot sauce on Brandon's thumb to prevent him from sucking it....


.....he continued to do it till he was 5.

My neighbor across the way is in his late 40's, early 50's. His parents did the same to him when he was a kid, and it cured him of sucking his thumb. He also won't eat anything hotter than black pepper now.

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

it blows iniquity out of the water

let me put it this way

I hate IPA's, most of them are overly bitter, not balanced at all, and just toss a bunch of random hops in there just because

2x is actually perfectly balanced, and honestly the amount of dry hopping we do to this beer is just insane, BUT, it does come out really nice

I will look for the 2xIPA here. Just noticed that you are brewed that beer...I have had Southern Tier's IPA and really liked it. Well done!

Do you know of anywhere in the Atlanta area I could find the 2xIPA?

 

[wheebz]

decided to do some breaded wings tonight

same method as last time, oven in a cup cake pan, rack to drain, pan fried and breaded with Panko and cilantro

sauce this time was a combo of daves mesquite salsa, smoked paprika, defon 2, peri peri sauce, bhut sauce thanks to JustAGuy, and garlic, gotta have garlic on everything I cook

 

[wheebz]

just bought my first food processor, YESSSSS

probably going to use it for poppers monday or tuesday

I have a new idea for some habs I want to work with

 

[paulky_2000]

I have a hard time saying "wings" and "panko" in the same sentence.

...but they do look DC edible!

 

[wheebz]

dude ive never done them like this before, but i am working with the stuff in my shitty kitchen here at my new place and trying to do things I havent done before

and let me tell you what they were awesome

 

[paulky_2000]

dude ive never done them like this before, but i am working with the stuff in my shitty kitchen here at my new place and trying to do things I havent done before

and let me tell you what they were awesome

Dude...I worked a 12 hour shift today....and then went straight to the grocery store.


..I'd lick the hot muffin tin!!!

 

[wheebz]

ive worked a 12 hour shift for the past 5 days homeslice, the fact that I even came home and tried to cook says something

SAYS SOMETHING TO YOU POWTAWIE!!!!!!!

IM COMIN FOR YOU TOMORROw!!!! the throwdown is gonna be epic

i actually have 2 different ideas I want to do, one of them was similar to yours paul, the new one I actually saw in one of my beer magazines 3 days ago

I was originally going to do a hot dog with the center cut out and stuffed with orange habs, topped with cole slaw, skirt steak like they do in Philly, and a fatalii cheese sauce, but being that I am going up against Pow I have to change my tactics

I am at a loss because I cant make my own dawgs from scratch like he can, which hurts me significantly, but my new idea is going to be a first that I have seen in a TD, as long as I can find the equipment to do it