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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Have you guys heard of My Drunk Kitchen? It's this cute chick who gets drunk and cooks things. She's rather hilarious. In celebration of the upcoming Throwdown, here she is making tacos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT46FV64dr8
 
Excellent Impy. I've been watching Hannah for quite a while. Cool, crazy, goofy, cooking chick. She definitely drinks but wonder if some of it might be staged. No matter. She puts on a great show. I'd do a show like that myself but lack the editing skills and quite frankly, I like actually being drunk for some such. Hannah is one of the few drunken chef styles that get it goin' on. Well done.
 
Excellent Impy. I've been watching Hannah for quite a while. Cool, crazy, goofy, cooking chick. She definitely drinks but wonder if some of it might be staged. No matter. She puts on a great show. I'd do a show like that myself but lack the editing skills and quite frankly, I like actually being drunk for some such. Hannah is one of the few drunken chef styles that get it goin' on. Well done.

Oh I'm positive a lot of it is staged, especially in her later episodes. Now she knows she's famous and I think her comedy is kind of forced. But she's still wicked entertaining and very cute :). And queer. Queer is a plus. I want to write to her and ask her to do a drunk spicy dish...like spicy to our standards. That would be all kinds of awesome.
 
Hmmm. I don't think she can handle the heat. Spicy...maybe but hot like you and I know, I don't think so. She's gay? I didn't get that from her. Okay maybe a hint but really? I don't care. I must confess to being homophobic a touch but don't hold it against me. You are one of the few people period of anyone I would have over for dinner. I would love to cook for you.
 
Thanks, ImpyChick, for that vid. We're going to look up more vids from her. Don't think she could handle true chile heat...but there is always hope that one will be corrupted or assimilated ~~~
 
Yep TB, she is! Here's a great interview with her: http://www.afterellen.com/people/hannah-hart-talks-my-drunk-kitchen-coming-out-and-her-nefarious-plan-to-steal-Santana-from-Brittany. And TB you could cook for me ANY TIME!

LunchBox, I loled.

SalsaLady, also check out her advice series!

Scoville, jargaritas FTW!
 
hello all!
today druken chef in Brazil! :woohoo:

the dinner is...
duck Donald + pooh the bear!!
honey hot duck with salted shitake and onions with butter!!
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wild duck! captured today!yeahhh
orange licour + rum + lemon juice to drink!
today is a hot winter night! 36°C now!
more pics coming in 2 hours!
 
Where the hell is 'pooh-the-bear'? Usually, at least the Bears show up! Ok, well maybe it's tougher in Brazil. But maybe the pics will be outrageous! hint, hint....
 
There's only one bear that shows up here. Bear... That guy. And he shows up smelling of beer, takes YOUR beer and sleeps in your tub.

True Story.
 
hey all...
really sorry...
the chef got drunk, forgot the duck in the oven! go to sleep, burned the duck!!!!
no dinner last night! :(
almost put fire on my house!
no more pics coming from pooh de bear
I use only half duck! maybe today I make duck donalds and pooh de bear again ahahhaha
 
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