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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
hells no NOT a mixer! It's been a hard 8.5 hrs. of work this week. 2 days! I needs me my energy. Our neighbor's comin' over before he goes home to Hawaii... wha?
anyway,
1.) Ice cold soup:
Clamato
V8
cream cheese, diced
Avocado, diced
baby shrimp,
green onion
add hot sauce here.

2.) beer brats
merlot brats,
pork, potato, leek sausage,
chicken w/ apple/sage brats.

3.) Grilled/ Roasted vegies,
Yukon gold spuds
small garden zukes
garden cherry toms
brown shrooms
jalapenos
garden green beans
all marinated in bals vinegar, and other s#*t

4.) Cambazola & Brie w/ rye crisps

5.) puff pastry thing (savory pie)
w/ sauted sweet onions, roasted poblanos/japs
gruyere.

F.) New thing:
Habanero AUF (Atomic Unicorn Farts) Sorry,kinda barowd it (ABTS)
cream cheese, cotija, cheddar,
wrapped in pig fat strips!

Ok gotta cook, I've never actually seen what I cook all spelled out in words-n-stuff.
Pics surely to come.... maybe the hungover chef too!

peas out....
 
I don't know about the guy in the blue dress, but I am getting ready for a hurricane.

Tequila... check.
Limes... check.
Beer... check.
Wings... check.
Steak... check.
Sausages... check.
Hot sauces... check.
 
Dudes ! you crack me up! I'm feeling better now, but I'm close to starting in again? Making a platter of Nachos, and watching the Bristol race.
I'm getting a strong feeling tomorrow's breakfast will be something "Benedict".
 
TB did my ex-wife come visit you?????
On another note I have some old rusty anvils we can tie to that carpet to hold it down wherever it may end up.
 
Ok, so here's what I was up to during Irene. I am only going to show one margarita however there were many like it. Juiciest limes I have ever had too might I add.

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