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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
There's no way I can pick up the slack while Scovie's on break, but I can keep up with the Methow Represent!
 
Did some horse trading with muskymojo for some curry spices and such, so tonight, is PORK CURRY! 
 
The spices had been in the box for a couple weeks, and I'd forgotten their colors, etc.  I bought veggies with the intention of doing a green curry, then got home and...yea didn't really have green curry stuff.
 
Oh WELL!... Off We Go!!!!!
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funky cut on the zukes-
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First time cooking jasmine rice in the auto-rice-cooker...didn't work like the other rices....just after this I just unplugged it and let it finish cooking.  It cooked up fine~~~
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Cutting up the Granny Smith apple....never seen this before!  But it's kinda cool~
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My custom made wind block-
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Tin foil, bailing wire and duct tape can save the world!  :lol:
 
 
 
 
Bump for da FOOD!
 
 
 
Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 
Methow in the house!! I mean THE Methow.
 
Thanks, Boss~
 
I reduced the 2 cans of coconut milk prior to starting cooking.  Next time, I'll just break the top of the coconut milk and pour off the liquid. 
 
Heat up the wok, saute the onions and a large half of the granny smith apple in some coconut oil with masala spice, Volcanic Peppers's Aji Powder salt, BP (sorry, geeme),
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add a bit of ginger and garlic, POL for the Drunken part-
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needed a bit of chicken broth at the end, then the reduced coconut milk, top with appropriate debris.....DONE!
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DANG!  lot of fuzzy pics....must of re-wined more than I thought!  :lol:
 
It got compliments from the Husband and Kid.  Success!  :dance:
 
 
 
It was a bit of a rough day.  I started working on taxes (THAT's enough to start drinking at 9:00am in and of itself...) and then the Kid had a bit of an accident driving the dirt road in his '78 PowerWagon.  He's OK, few new dents in the truck...but it's still major worry for Mom
 
Thanks, ashen and GM
 
 
I'll post a couple pics of the PowerWagon in the morning.  It's had quite a history including surviving the wildfires of last summer.  The previous owner lost their house and everything in the wildfire, the truck survived with a melted tail light. 
 
The 'Kid was coming down a dirt road, not very fast, got squirrelly, caught a wheel and tipped the truck up...thankfully on the up-hill side of the road.  Neighbors came to help, flopped the truck over.....shit and stuff with getting the flat tire changed out to the spare (one person brought out a jack, another person came down with a small tractor with a bucket and chain, helped lift from the bumper of the truck......)
 
It's all good.  (stoopit kids shouldn't be allowed to drive until they are 30!)
 
 
 
 
aight......panicing Mom is calming down........
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
but I still think kids should not be allowed to drive until 30 years old even though I was driving at 16~~~~~~~~
 
Long time since I last posted, but here goes some drunken cheffing  :drunk:
 

Firing up the Weber Saturday afternoon.
 

 
Refreshments and snacks.  Wild Turkey, Dos Equis amber, chips and salsas.
 

 
The stuff I need for carne asada tortas. 
 

 
Ingredients for easy spicy refried beans (the stuff in the jar is pickled chopped super hots).
 

 
Slightly overcooked IMO, I blame the Turkey.

 
Ready to assemble.
 

 
Ready to eat.
 
 
The red & white setting reminds me of the tablecloths at the pizzeria we ate at when I was a child ...
 
Now I want that pizza.
Alynne said:
It contains ham hock, beef , beets
And yes, I've been drinking.
 
Good idea starting now, it's going to be a loooooong summer up there. lol ...
 
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