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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
grantmichaels said:
Looks good, but you are taking the blurry pic requirement a bit too literally I think ...
 
It's a bit early for DC? lol ...  unless you started at lunch, and if so, :clap:
 
Leave that girl alone.
 
Hot chicks always get a pass.
 

salsalady

Business Member
All Chicas brave enough to venture on to THP let alone the DrUNKEN CHEF deserve immediate Goddess Status!
 
-edit- just looked it up........... there ain't no Goddess Status available ...   yet.......
 
Deathtosnails said:
Yay for me!  I finally found my dslr battery charger. Pics of foods and beers will be forth coming.  Does getting drunkfmpt and ordering pizza count?
 
Negative.
 
You have to actually cook something.
 
You could just JayT it.
 
Microwave a hotdog and slap some cheese on it.
 
Easy peasy.
 
grantmichaels said:
Looks good, but you are taking the blurry pic requirement a bit too literally I think ...
 
It's a bit early for DC? lol ...  unless you started at lunch, and if so, :clap:
10pm is almost bedtime for me. Gotta get my beauty sleep if I'm in the running for Goddess. Saturday's are my cooking day. At the grocery by 9:00, bloody's by 11:00. Big pot of something in the works by one. (Sometimes in bed by 8:00)

BUT this Saturday going to the Nat's game, so may be a week or two before something interesting.

I'm watching, though...
 
Bumper said:
3 pints in and it was chinese pork skewers rice and bok choy for dinner, grilled pineapple and ice-cream for dessert.  
 
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Sweet! Do you make or buy your bok choy? And how many are you feeding?
 
So, the wifie is out of town and I'm cooking so it's time for me to do some DCin shenanigans, whew thanks spell check. So on the plate tonight is 
 
Steak with Mushrooms, Pearl Onions and Zucchini in Red Wine Sauce.
 
The players
 
E8888489-FAB8-4A02-972E-701BADC3387C_zpsjpkq355a.jpg

 
Steak in the CI, my oh my
 
4C291BA7-F934-4839-9983-291A6080D6AB_zpsgpjfgox2.jpg

 
Now it's time for the veggies to get all happy and wait for it....
 
A4C1C45F-39C1-417C-A548-278C969B00CB_zpspjmgmcwj.jpg

 
Time for a little Red Wine and the make JayT crazy shot
 
332B37F0-D77D-49B9-AFD5-7770E0FC7A3C_zpsshefuod3.jpg

 
a little Gahlic and Thyme
 
7556FEFA-A1F6-4E7C-93AB-2F31F423AC16_zps8pmuhju5.jpg

 
After all the Fond has been fondly worked in to the wine we add a little beef stock and flour
 
B6E71A2E-849F-46A2-89B2-86BE39B03BA7_zpskiyk6fkr.jpg

 
Put the steaks back in and let them get all happy
 
12762AFD-EF33-4B12-90C1-EB9CCC2E302E_zps1i0pp7gp.jpg

 
Oh Yeah baby, come to papa! Heat is courtesy of the Smoked Jalapeno powder in the Red Rouster.
 
727570FF-BF9F-4E31-91F7-BE8295754023_zpsgxfcpxe7.jpg

 
Yum!
 
32F3CFCC-E0E6-47D2-8FEF-91E45D254A4C_zpsnmhn6ajl.jpg
 
Drunken chefing is one thing. Drunken freezing is another. What could this be?

Oookkkay. It's not food. Thawed it to liquid and thought it was stock. It's pepper soaking liquid. Not horrible, but not what I expected and fired me up! Maybe Asian noodles...
Ok, use what you have.

Rocket an, that looks fantastic and I have CI envy.
 

grantmichaels

Extreme Member
RocketMan said:
So, the wifie is out of town and I'm cooking so it's time for me to do some DCin shenanigans, whew thanks spell check. So on the plate tonight is 
 
Steak with Mushrooms, Pearl Onions and Zucchini in Red Wine Sauce.
 
The players
 

 
Steak in the CI, my oh my
 

 
Now it's time for the veggies to get all happy and wait for it....
 

 
Time for a little Red Wine and the make JayT crazy shot
 
332B37F0-D77D-49B9-AFD5-7770E0FC7A3C_zpsshefuod3.jpg

 
a little Gahlic and Thyme
 

 
After all the Fond has been fondly worked in to the wine we add a little beef stock and flour
 

 
Put the steaks back in and let them get all happy
 

 
Oh Yeah baby, come to papa! Heat is courtesy of the Smoked Jalapeno powder in the Red Rouster.
 
727570FF-BF9F-4E31-91F7-BE8295754023_zpsgxfcpxe7.jpg

 
Yum!
 
 
 
OH. HELL. YES.
 
Looks killer, and the poultry made me LOL ...
 
Hells yea Rocketman!!!! 
We need to live closer. That's good classy drunk food! Pour that shit on some tater tots....Hot Damn!
 
RM's & Alynne's posts are hot blue and drunk.
 
I love to be loving both loooong time.
 
Alynne's reminds me that I haven't eaten pasta in ages.
 
Which also 'splain's why I'm walkin' around @160 pounds. 
 
I'd be less but mrs. blues gives me hell when I'm 154 which I prefer.
 
Sez I look anorexic.
 
Bruce Lee ripped I sez.
 
But dang it.
 
Now I'm cravin' some drunken 4 cheese mac with sun dried toms, button mushrooms and mango/hab.
 
Sheeit rocks harder than penitentiary steel.
 
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