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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 

salsalady

Business Member
Alynne said:
I have yet to clean the scorched pot. Must do it.
But instead, watching the walking dead, and drinking Vino Verde
I have yet to clean the scorched pot. Must do it.
Repeating ones-self is a definite indication of re-drunking. 
 
 
Vino Verde????   Green Wine??????
 
Need more info~
 
Off to re-wine--- brb---
 

The Hot Pepper

Founder
Admin
mmmm vinho verde.
 
SL how do you not know?????????????????????????????
 

Ashen

Extreme Member
Portuguesse wine..  good stuff.. I used a bottle of a white vinho verde at Easter for cooking  garlic mushrooms..   I like the slight bit of bubbles that come off of it.   well the bottle was gone but only about half went into the mushrooms..
 

The Hot Pepper

Founder
Admin
2 bottles in the fridge.
 
 
If vinho verde came in a box SL would know it hehe... :P
 
;)
 

grantmichaels

Extreme Member
i got sauced, and forgot to defrost the tail, but the Indian i ordered once i realized was incredible tonight ...

my first time having fried paneer ... was served in a curry, made primarily of butter, tomato, and fresh curry leaves ... absolutely wonderful ... must learn more about it (paneer) ...
 
:P   Will try to keep my cook on track this evening, its cool here and a mid afternoon whiskey was in order and I have a nice bottle of pinot noir ready before paella cooking gets underway.  Paneer sounds delicious. 
 
grantmichaels said:
i got sauced, and forgot to defrost the tail, but the Indian i ordered once i realized was incredible tonight ...

my first time having fried paneer ... was served in a curry, made primarily of butter, tomato, and fresh curry leaves ... absolutely wonderful ... must learn more about it (paneer) ...
 
Update - decided on a cracking riesling from Pikes Vineyard.  
 
Clean out the fridge, boar salami, smoked octopus, and premium bacon.  Usual onions, tomatoes, garlic, saffron, cayenne pepper, white wine chicken thigh, prawns and squid braised in red wine and sherry vinegar and prawns also going in.  Progress shots so far… 
 
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rice in, simmer time!
 
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Tinnie said:
Hell yeah bumper!
 
Where did you find the boar salami and how did it taste? Never seen it before.
 
Awesome, rich, good fat content which I was surprised at.  Hunter Valley smokehouse is where the smoked goods came from
 
Just read the health and wellness questionnaire I have to fill out for new job.  One section asks If I drink, how long have I drank, how many drinks do I have per week, do I think it is a problem, do I feel guilty about it, do I ever have a drink in the morning to steady my nerves or help with a hangover...  Uh oh.
 
JayT said:
Just read the health and wellness questionnaire I have to fill out for new job.  One section asks If I drink, how long have I drank, how many drinks do I have per week, do I think it is a problem, do I feel guilty about it, do I ever have a drink in the morning to steady my nerves or help with a hangover...  Uh oh.
Tell em you'll give em an answer after cocktails!! :)
 
JayT said:
Just read the health and wellness questionnaire I have to fill out for new job.  One section asks If I drink, how long have I drank, how many drinks do I have per week, do I think it is a problem, do I feel guilty about it, do I ever have a drink in the morning to steady my nerves or help with a hangover...  Uh oh.
 
You're not a drunk.
 
You're an alcohol enthusiast.
 
And I know first hand for a fact you can drink your future bosses under the table.
 
I bet I could too.
 
That questionnaire was written by pussy's.
 
Where I work I'd rather they'd forget about drug/alcohol/background checks.
 
They should really be giving IQ tests.
 
Most of the people they hire can barely dress themselves or put together a cognitive sentence.
 
Then again the people doing the hiring can't either.
 
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