• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Click to expand...
I was just thinking about ribs last night! I don't have a smoker so it's going to be on the BBQ tonight (weather permitting). The Curried chicken looks pretty damn good too! Man I love food.


Neil
 
Cman, welcome to the swirling cesspool known as Drunken Chef...that looks dirty good! Those carrots are huge! uhm..they ARE carrots right? Tell me they are.

Cheers, TB.
 
Certainly not spicy, but tasty all the same. I made some steak sandwiches a few days ago on the new BBQ. I got it for Christmas from the g/f's parents and was finally able to set it up. Loving it so far. No flareups to speak of and plenty hot enough to burn things to a cinder.

Prep: Steak, Montreal Steak Spice, Hoagie roll, green and red bell pepper, red onion, Monteray Jalapeno cheese, olive oil in the back ground and bonus points to anyone who can guess the name of the orange fruit in the picture... and no, it wasn't put on the steak sammich!

steakprep.jpg
]

New Grill: notice the ice behind the Q

newgrill.jpg


Steaks on the new grill look so small. The hoagie buns were slathered with garlic, butter and some parsley flakes, wrapped in tin foil and set on the heating rack to crisp up. There was enough garlic on there that, once eaten, people will pretty much leave you alone all day.

steakongrill.jpg


Frying the onion and peppers in olive oil

peppers.jpg
 
Here's a shot of the steak all cut up with hoagie in background prepped with garlic, butter, parsley flakes and lightly toasted. Montaray Jalapeno cheese on top.

cutupsteak.jpg


And the final product,

steaksandwich.jpg



My g/f really didn't like steak sandwiches until I had her try this one. Although, she really didn't like spicy foods until she met me either :lol:


and for no reason, here's a picture of my dog Blister (aka Snouticus) who supervised the making of said sammiches.

blister.jpg



Neil
 
FiveStar said:
Yummy looking sandwich!

Is the fruit a Kiwano? Hows it taste?
Click to expand...

Nailed it on the first try! Nice job. The taste is rather strange. It's a combo of cucumber, citrus and melon that is dry and bitter. I didn't really care for it, but thought I would give it a shot anyways as I'm up for trying new things.
 
Nice looking sammich there Blister. I've seen those fruit but don't recall the name. Nice pupper.

Hint: you gotta' be at least partially in the bag to post in this thread or lie and post a pic of the bottle. In the bag is more fun though....

Cheers, TB.
 
Made roast beast/smoked turky sammich w/ hab jack an tomato, onions, pickle lettusce an stuff wit my baconaisze. cant be arsed to photo. :)

blames CC/cokes an ber.

whee.
 
texas blues said:
Cman, welcome to the swirling cesspool known as Drunken Chef...that looks dirty good! Those carrots are huge! uhm..they ARE carrots right? Tell me they are.

Cheers, TB.
Click to expand...

Yep they are carrots ! Those are BHUT JOLOKIA PODS TOO ! I was in and out of the toliet this morning about 3 times ! Red wine & curry ! Did not smell as pretty this morning !
MMMMMMMMM LEFT OVERS TONIGHT !!!!

Blister said:
Nailed it on the first try! Nice job. The taste is rather strange. It's a combo of cucumber, citrus and melon that is dry and bitter. I didn't really care for it, but thought I would give it a shot anyways as I'm up for trying new things.
Click to expand...

Nice sanga, very much my style !

Also MY 2ND attempt at jerky today ! Have started process, hope it is not as salty as the 1st. Useing powdered cure rather than
marinade, LOTS OF CHILLI - DRY; SAVINA, BHUT, CAYENNE,& HAB !!:hell: - Will go in tomorrow arvo about this time so 48hrs till jerky goodness !(i hope)
 
texas blues said:
Nice looking sammich there Blister. I've seen those fruit but don't recall the name. Nice pupper.

Hint: you gotta' be at least partially in the bag to post in this thread or lie and post a pic of the bottle. In the bag is more fun though....

Cheers, TB.
Click to expand...

does delayed 'in the bag' count cause I am now... and I was only going to have one or two... damn things kept tasting like another...

Not only am I in the bag, but I'm going to hit the ol' fart sack. Night all...
 
Blister said:
does delayed 'in the bag' count cause I am now... and I was only going to have one or two... damn things kept tasting like another...

Not only am I in the bag, but I'm going to hit the ol' fart sack. Night all...
Click to expand...


Excellent!! See how much more fun it is posting while drunk! Now you're in like Flynn.

Cheers, TB.
 
Ok, techincally drunk cookin' as I had a few CC & Cokes before, during an after. ;)

HawtStuff = Smoked Turkey Wrap w/ Curry & Chipotle Cheddar

The Ingredients of Doom:
S6302589.JPG


Mixed a nice curry paste with some American Neufchâtel, minced Orange Habs, a bit of cilantro, Cayenne/Onion/Garlic Powders, and liberal Sea Salt & Pepper.

Then, layered on the deli smoked turkey, shredded chipotle cheddar, paper-thin-cut Roma tomatoes, uber-tiny juienned onions, sliced mushrooms, and a drizzle of sesame oil.

Voila!!

S6302594.JPG


Yummy eats.
knife-fork-smiley.gif
 
Thx!

The tort was a tad dry, but it worked out ok.

Between the habs, the 1/2 tsp. of cayenne powder and the already spicy Curry paste I got a ncie sweat outa it.

Delish Snackage. :)
 
I can't wait until tomarrow morning. I have three duck eggs I'll be scrambling with some of CaJohn's Jolokia bbq sauce and a few other ingredients to make a breakfest burrito. You wrap reminds me of my future.
 
Alright ladies and gents. On the menu tonight is Seco de Pollo. But first...

Daddy needs a drink...

DSCN0388-2.jpg


Nothin gets the party started like a good boilermaker. Especially a nice cheapy with JB Rye and PBR.

Let's Cook!

DSCN0390.jpg


2 Chicken breasts pounded flat swimming in beer, white wine, lime juice, fresh de arbol, garlic and s&p. supposed to be cilantro in there too, but... Phukit.

DSCN0389.jpg


Time to get into character. No Mames Way!! Pinche Cabrones!

The milky stuff in the pint jar behind the beer is bacon grease. Some of it may or may not have found its way into the black beans for the side...

DSCN0391.jpg


What to do with leftover popper filling? Insert into jalas! These went into the freezer (thanks for the tip Turd-Burglar) to await time in 400F the sauna.
 
Guacamole time. 2 avos, 2 Habs diced, 1/2 onion, lime juice SMOKED salt, and pepper.

WARNING!! Blurry pic...

DSCN0394.jpg


The artisan salt company rocks your face. This smoked salt will make fluids ooze from your private places lickety splitt! Really good shit.

DSCN0392.jpg



Cachaca showed up a little later. Usually she wiggles her enormous Brazilian backside into a Caipirina, but every now and again, she just jumps right down my throat...

DSCN0396.jpg




And lastly... the final results. Yeah, I was drunk enough to garnish the thing. But there were SOOO many chiles around, and I was trying to retain a sense of romance for the girlfriend while belching firewater laden gasses and spilling stuff all over the kitchen. Sue me...

That's Mahatma yellow rice plated in back, and black beans on the side.

DSCN0400.jpg


I'm feeling full and fuzzy at the moment. Pardon me whilst I pour myself another boilermaker...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top