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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Okay...for Christmas i am asking santa for a candle that smells like Grantmichaels' kitchen!!!!! :dance:


and BTW - disposable plates are the shiznit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
 
Alright dude, just this once, I'll substantiate the drankin' for yo ass ...

On the first, having some humus ...

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Nearing completion of my 2nd, I found the zest suspension fascinating, so ...

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We decided the 3rd could use some powdered sugar and raspberry lemonade, so I made a helluva production, and ...

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The 7 pots and garlic are starting to smell up the house ...

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The tedious shit is done ...

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And I once again find myself fascinated by the suspended lemon zest at my desk uploading to photobucket ...

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Sitting in my favorite place on earth, between a pair of studio monitors ... presently listening to Blue October - Foiled ... and plotting to park my frigate in the harbor a little while after curry ...

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Look at the floor, sparklin' just in case <g>


Oh hell yes, now I can have your back ANYTIME in the future, because I've seen it.
Now dump the humous on the floor and get after it. And she should leave the socks ON.

 
Super Cock's 39 cent Atomic Noodles

Step 1. Boil Water, add noodles, egg and an assortment of spices and seasonings (I used chili pepper flakes and chili powder).

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Step 2. Serve with ROOSTER SAUCE :dance:
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Cheaper than White Castle and no risk of DUI ;)
 
So, it got a little sloppy ... as if there was any doubt ... and SD jinxed Danielle by talking about the floor, which is exactly where one of the full glasses from the 5th round ended up ...

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The poor lemon that donated virtually all of it's skin, for our little event ...

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At 2 am we ate 'madras' that was so damn hot from simmering for two hours while we were otherwise occupied w/ drinking and carrying on ...

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And in true DC fashion, I was unable to be successful in photographing the plated meal ... which was just a plastic plate, as per the usual ... so instead, I'll share the recovery aid from brunch this morning ...

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It's looking like we might have some more drinks tonight, though ... and I loaded up some sections of a beautiful top sirloin into vacuum bags to sous vide meat that MIGHT be for an entry in the sammy thread that's going on ...

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Which we seasoned using the seasoning jsschrstrcks sent along w/ the mixed box I snagged from his recent auction ...

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We've used it already a number of times, it's quite good ...
 
Looks like a hot time in the Michaels House tonight! :D

Try to keep Danielle off the floor this time! haha
Now Scovie's expecting me to wipe up messes as they occur! :lol: not gonna happ'n!!!!! hahahahaha
 
Holy Crap! You should give your Danielle the camera once in a while.

12 pictures of food and drinks, 1 of D cleaning the floor.
12 pictures of food and drinks, 1 of D cleaning the floor.
It ain't a pattern... Yet. :rofl:


We were just down in Sarasota in April, (got to swim in the gulf for the first time on CJs Bday)
and we partied our asses of at Americas Best Value Inn S. Tamiami Trail, with 4 other members here.
Next time, you guys will be there, and Danielle won't have to clean up NOTHIN. We destroyed that place.
We'll have to use someone elses name next time tho, hahahahahahaha
 
Holy Crap! You should give your Danielle the camera once in a while.

12 pictures of food and drinks, 1 of D cleaning the floor.
12 pictures of food and drinks, 1 of D cleaning the floor.
It ain't a pattern... Yet. :rofl:


We were just down in Sarasota in April, (got to swim in the gulf for the first time on CJs Bday)
and we partied our asses of at Americas Best Value Inn S. Tamiami Trail, with 4 other members here.
Next time, you guys will be there, and Danielle won't have to clean up NOTHIN. We destroyed that place.
We'll have to use someone elses name next time tho, hahahahahahaha

Definitely give warning if you'll be back around!
 
TACO NIGHT WITH JIM BEAM!!!!

appetizers until i cook the other tacos

WHEEBZ SHRIMP TACO THINGIES

rice with a touch of soy sauce

shrimp done in ollive oil, asian spice blend, hoisin sauce, and hab flakes

slaw done with red and purple cabbage and carrots, sour cream, lemongrass, cilantro, smoked paprika

touch of sriracha for good measure

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this is just an appetizer until the beef tacos, but i need more liquor for that first


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we need to rock out a so flo weekend again dude

ill make the drive and buy the beer, you buy the food and gimmie a place to crash, and we would be golden

just have like a friday/saturday cook fest

i missed that fucking casserole too last time, so i want that for sunday morning

holy shit grant, you live in Sarasota too?

dude you need to come to my brewery, and we need to have a drunken chili and beer night
 
Hells yea. Let's look into early sept or oct.
You always have place here.
If its just you and someone you don't mind sleeping with (if it's jt, I'm telling) you can have your own room!
 
we need to rock out a so flo weekend again dude

ill make the drive and buy the beer, you buy the food and gimmie a place to crash, and we would be golden

just have like a friday/saturday cook fest

i missed that fucking casserole too last time, so i want that for sunday morning

holy shit grant, you live in Sarasota too?

dude you need to come to my brewery, and we need to have a drunken chili and beer night

all my life (save the quality time i spent at uf) ...

i'll need a couple of weekends, but when I do come, i'll use a cab ...
 
Grant...meet FD & Wheebz (Wheebz's the Brew God at Darwin's)...

FD & Wheebz.....meet Grant (Drunken Chef Extraordinaire)....

FD is the Grill Meister that kicks alotta ass in the TDs...just sayin'....part of the SoFlo Posse.....

Sum of my Bits is another member of that crazy So Flo crew....he's a crown whore, but we luv 'im regardless.... ;)

Anyhoo - all these intros have made me thirsty....carry on you krazy kidz!!!!! :party:
 
WHEEBZ BEEFY THROW EM ON THE STUPIDFACEDED TACOS!!!!!

simple tacos

beef, smoked paprika (my favorite spice incase you didnt get this yet), cumin, garlic, celery salt, Black Mamba death sauce, full on extract that burns pretty much as bad as SL's extract, only with more saliva pouring out of your mouth

cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomatos

baked them things in the oven

topped with sliced habs in case the extract wasnt enough

PS...

it was....


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Wheebz...DUDE!

Taco Perfection!

But big BOO for no aaaaalkeeehol in DC photos! Or were your appetizers supposed to convince us?!?!?! :lol:

Fix it, or pay the consequences.......;)
 
back cupping last night's beverage before finishing the recovery gatorade ... like. champs.

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actually kids, mixing gatorade and alcohol is ill-advised, but i digress ... it's not tylenol dangerous ...

we're whipping up something like a steak sammy, i guess ... freestylin' tonight ...

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another tiny little iteration towards craftsmanship, in code, in growing, in cooking ...

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sous vide, culinary hacking ... this time w/ ghost pepper seasoning ... first time ...

the boring stuff ...

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i'm excited because after i pour another round, i'll dawn the blowtorch to toast some buns ... fire, fire, fire ...
 
Blow Torched Buns!!!!! BWaaaaHHaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I love this much more???????

Wheebz - you have redeemed yo'sef...when I squinted really hard I think I saw some booze in there somewhere!
CORRECTION....what's LEFT of da Booze!!!!! ;)
 
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