The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[frenzix]

Tally - Ho!

Chinese Garlic Chicken w/ chilli

I'm rinking this .. cause i'm on a diet! ha. And I like hippy busses.

Cooking with Macadamia Oil - High flash point similar to peanut oil but they make this stuff up the road from me.

You will need this stuff - I use cornflour to thicken sauce later

And poo loads of garic, onion

First steam vegies

Cook diced foul

set aside when cooked and chuck in garic and onion

mix steam vegies and the rest .. take out the whoosebag families serve and add chilli

Whack in some cashews and serve and shove down your gullet.

 

[JayT]

Love love LOVE me some good wok food. Looking good frenzix.

 

[Scovie]

You had me at poo load of Garlic. and of course, alkameehol.

Looks awesome.

 

[JayT]

Scovie, I cannot look at that avy without laughing. Good show.

 

[texas blues]

Scovie, I cannot look at that avy without laughing. Good show.

I think its hilarious!

I find it as funny as a green turd in a pickle barrel.

 

[JayT]

After consuming many vodka and sweet tea's today, I attempted to make a whole, round, meal. Here is what came out. Grilled prok chops marinated in a Basil Vinaigrette, Rosemary and Garlic Roasted Potatoes, and Grilled Asparagus with olive oil salt and pepper.

THis is a rare thing, I rarely post a full meal pic. It all turned out good. Problem was there was not enough asparagus. Gonna have to make more to go with the leftovers.

 

[grantmichaels]

"f**k yeah" (as in "team america, f**k yeah" ... for the enlightened!)

 

[Scovie]

There's just sumpn' perfect about meat and potatoes. Especially those ^^^.

Last week our store had Aspergrass on sale for $1.49 /lb. !!!!!!
We bought 5 lbs and the next day after the sale it went back up to $5.99.
My pee has had The TB funk for a week. Which I believe has flushed my liver proper for this weekend.

:BOLD:

 

[JayT]

I absolutely love grilled asparagus. Sometimes I do it like this with just olive oil and s&p, sometimes I get fancy with lime juice and lemon and orange zest (that is awesome btw). I was proud of myself with this, because usually for me to get any kind of char on the chops, I overcook them. These turned out just right, still a touch pink and very juicy.

 

[grantmichaels]

I had some really awesome chops recently, and this thread is making me HUNGRY ...

 

[JayT]

These were part of a whole loin that I got and cut up myself. Much cheaper that way, and I can make them thick like I like.

 

[Scovie]

Yep, Pork chops are a little tricky, and there MUST be some pink. You nailed them!
Asparagruss, is thee best grilled. even burnt. lol Winter we do less grilling so we usually do oven broiler asperagass
with a drizzle of EVOO, Garlic Salt, BP, and Baslamic Vinegar.

We will have to try the orange zest, (in a while). what about Lemon zest? would that be good?

edit. easier to cook proper too. ^^^

 

[JayT]

I usually do both lemon and orange together, but yeah either would work. You can still use your balsamic with that too. I didn't mention that, but I have used the balsamic that way too. It is, or was above freezing today so I decided it was time to grill.

 

[texas blues]

Screw the pork.

Gimme' that asparagus!

Them 'tates too!

Y'all know I don't eat that much meat any more.

But I'll eat any hippy veggie sheeit that Jay whoops up.

 

[JayT]

This is probably as good a time and place as any to tell you that I am going on one of those three day hippy juice cleanses.

 

[sicman]

This is probably as good a time and place as any to tell you that I am going on one of those three day hippy juice cleanses.

when are you starting it? maybe ill do it also?

 

[Scovie]

Aooww WTF is goin on here? Just change this to the Hippy thread.

sheeeeeeeit. 3 day algae cleanse.... arf.

Then what, SoyDogs? You goin to a Sweat Hut for "Meditation" too Jay?

And take TB and Sicman with you...

I'll see you bastards in HELL!!!!!

 

[JayT]

I am going to give a free loofa to anyone who joins me! Starting Monday. Three day juice cleanse.

 

[Scovie]

You're gonna need all the Loofas you can get.
You're Colon is gonna shart out Old Hot Dog skins, Pepper seeds, Bubble Yum, and that Army Man you swallowed when you were 7.

 

[JayT]

Good chance. That army man might be worth money! How do I get in touch with that Toy Hunter guy?