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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Yep.

And I am sorry that FD and me are the only ones that know about the slow, loose grinding of meat.

(Barry White voice...)

Loose...


Grind..

Baby...
 
Robbie! dude! Nice thick patty with a little char, grilled red onions and PRINGLES!

Rock on man, nicely done.
 
So... I am going to make some burgers tonight. I am going to try to make them hand shaped appropriate for the burger snobs here, but they are going to be elk sliders. My question is, should I post them here or in the SOTM thread for criticism and ridicule?
 
Zeroth: You must play the game.
First: You can't win.
Second: You can't break even, except on a very cold day.
Third: It doesn't get that cold.

It's physics, man ...
 
Yes, a burger is a sandwich J lol. Well wait...

I am going to try to make them hand shaped appropriate for the burger snobs here

The Test Kitchen may be appropriate here since you are going all cookie-cutter free you ambitious bastard :lol:
 
A burger is a sandwich but SOTM clearly states No Burgers as there are other threads for that.

Like THIS ONE.

Posty up your elk sliders here compadre.

BTW Robbie, hella' nice looking burgers.

Love the onionz and looks plenty scheezey.

And I especially like to be liking the whole wheatz bunz.

Chingon!
 
Looks like beef, good marbling, how was it?

Nice patty shape. Much better than those perfect discs.
 
Sweet baby cheeses Jay!

The meat, the scheese, and the Martin's are all dancing like a marionette from your drunken 'fangers!

Pretty damn hot blue and chingon if you axe me!

And I like to be lovin' swish scheeze on a burger.

Rather flamboyant dontcha' think?
 
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