Whenever i see hitchhikers, i just pretend they're telling me that i'm doing a great job driving.
standbyandfire
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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Thats is a nice turtleneck you're wearing!
He does the work of three men: Larry,Moe,and Curly.
If you go to sleep with a iching a$$ you will wake up with a stinking finger.....
Life's a b!tch, 'cause if it was a slut it'd be easy'.
I always take life with a grain of salt,...plus a slice of lemon,...and a shot of tequila.
Money talks....but all mine ever says is good-bye.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Save the Dolphins? What did the Cows do wrong?
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
"Hermits have no peer pressure".
What does PU stand for( as in "PU that stinks!")
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