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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
ChileRelleno said:
The Fries
Scrub down several large baking potatoes
Julienne into 1/4"-1/2" fries
Deep fry at 375° till just golden, lift basket, let oil reheat and then finish to crisp
Salt/season well while still dripping oil
Serve HOT!
 
What does this mean? I am a fan of the double fry but the oil has to be two different temperatures or there is literally no point. The first cook slowly par cooks them so they are cooked through (300-325)... the second cook browns and crisps the cooked fry (365-375)...
 
Well shut my mouth!
 
And call me Margo.
 
I would throw 2 cats in a gunny sack.
 
Throw it over a clothes line.
 
And shove my little sister in the middle.
 
For those burgers and fries.
 
 
On another note....
 
GIP.
 
You mentioned bread and butter serrano's.
 
A while back.
 
Where they at?
 
Posty 'em up on a cheeseburger.
 
Por favor senor.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
What does this mean? I am a fan of the double fry but the oil has to be two different temperatures or there is literally no point. The first cook slowly par cooks them so they are cooked through (300-325)... the second cook browns and crisps the cooked fry (365-375)...
Generally the oil temp gets lowered when the fries are first put in, especially when I keep my cut taters in the fridge.
This first cook is the par cook.
Then you remove the fries, let the temp come back up.
This is the brown and crisp cook.
 
I don't see how that's much different than just leaving them in there. :lol:
 
The whole point is, at high temp they will burn... so you cook low to cook through, then crisp for a few minutes... but hey if they taste good ok man! ;) 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
I don't see how that's much different than just leaving them in there. :lol:
 
The whole point is, at high temp they will burn... so you cook low to cook through, then crisp for a few minutes... but hey if they taste good ok man! ;)
 
 
No matter how he did it.
 
I thought the fries looked chingon.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
I don't see how that's much different than just leaving them in there. :lol:
 
The whole point is, at high temp they will burn... so you cook low to cook through, then crisp for a few minutes... but hey if they taste good ok man! ;)
They don't stay in the oil as long or during it's coolest temp.
End result less greasy and better outside/skin.
 
they look good to me. 
 
Hells Kitchen said:
So decided to try smoking some burgers last night, rather than doing them quick over direct heat like I usually do.  Overcooked the beef to buggery as I was off my tits. Apparently, my coal control leaves something to be desired when I am blasted.  Still have some meat left over, so will try again tomorrow. 
 
 
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WHERE'S THE PINK????!!!!!! 
 
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ChileRelleno said:
Chingon = Good, Very Good, Great, Excellent.
 
LOL... so 4 different levels of how good it is? 
 
You want chingon?
 
I give you....
 
Chingon!
 
Salmon burgers.
 
Asian style.
 
With pineapple.
 
Oyster sauce.
 
Shoyu.
 
Green onion.
 
Egg.
 
Fried in cast iron.
 
 
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Toasted slider buns.
 
With swiss.
 
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Sriracha mayo and green o's.
 
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Got dang.
 
I said GOT DANG!
 
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Hear me now.
 
Bleed me later.
 
 
Broke da' mouth!
 
The kine.
 
Grindz.
 
Que la chingon!
 
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