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Chuck Norris Facts

bentalphanerd

bentalphanerd

# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Many more.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
 
Bruce Lee trained Chuck Norris. Bruce Lee did not die, but transformed himself into a beard and attached himself to NBorris's face.
 
imaguitargod said:
Bruce Lee trained Chuck Norris. Bruce Lee did not die, but transformed himself into a beard and attached himself to NBorris's face.
Click to expand...

somehow I knew when I posted this that you would have the inside goss :shocked:
 
Chuck Norris does not do push ups, because the earth moves

it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes

Chuck Norris once took sleeping pills, they made him blink
 
Fact - Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies - he potato sacks them

Fact - Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a testicle competition - Chuck won by seven

Fact - Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Fact - They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper but it wouldn't take shit from anyone

Fact - Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did

Fact - The tears of Chuck Norris can cure cancer - a shame he never cries

Fact - When Chuck has sex with a woman she stays f****d
 
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
 
Fact - Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Fact - Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Fact - Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Fact - Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Fact - Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Fact - Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Fact - Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
 
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