food Post Your Crappy Spicy Food
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Wow, glad I found this thread, because I just did my worst last weekend.
For various reasons (meaning 'one' reason in particular) I will also post this in The Drunken Chef Thread http://thehotpepper.com/topic/9178-the-drunken-chef/
Alright, full disclosure: I was absolutely 100% blackout hammered, sh1t faced, potted, sauced, pickled, wasted, besotted, blotto, inebriated, off the wagon, pissed, plowed, and sloshed when this bit of culinary blasphemy occurred.
I didn't even remember I did this the next day until the day after when I looked in my phone and discovered I'd actually taken pictures of this damnable gourmet heresy. So with a foggy mind and a headache throbbing like a cheap subwoofer in a primer grey '98 honda civic, I began piecing together the fragments of drunken memories of the incident and approach the fridge with trepidation. Lo and behold, theres a large tupperware with a green sticky-note on the lid saying
HOT AS HELL!
I assume so nobody else would mistake it for leftovers and munch their way to the afterlife.
Removing the lid, the smell hit first. Not a bad smell, not really pleasant either, but oddly familiar. Let's just say it was obvious the sticky note wasn't lying. Whatever this heretical concoction is, it's gonna burn like the Seventh Ring. Then the sight of it. It looked like 2 islands of overcooked chicken-flesh in a sea of magma and raw sewage.
I actually ate the damned thing that night. It wasn't half bad. Wasn't half good either.
Here's my vague recollection:
Start with some glorious PBR and Wild Turkey 101. This explains everything and absolves me of any responsibility and accountability for whatever happened next whatsoever. That's what I tell myself and I never lie. Probably. I think. Much.
In a pan begin simmering a whole jar of Mrs. Renfro's ghost pepper salsa
and a 1/8 bottle of Elijah's Extreme ghost pepper and habanero sauce. That was the last of my sauce dammit
add in an unknown quantity of finely sliced red habaneros some guy at work gave me that were bitchin' hot. Probably a bunch of 'em based on how it tasted
then a whole vidalia onion, like 2 or 3 things of garlic i think, 1/3 mason jar of sliced jalapenos i got from another random guy at work, and im guessing a whole bunch of ridiculous spices and herbage based on how disarrayed my spice rack looked the next day. Probably all of them, I was blackout drunk afterall. Oh yea, and I found a ziploc bag of half a lemon so aparently I squeezed a bunch of lemon in there too because that's my drunken idea of being all "cheffy foo foo"
then add 2 barely defrosted chicken boobs to the chaos. This is aparently what it looked like on the way in
simmer for god knows how long, who cares anyway, and this happens
then the whole thing, pan included (no plastic) goes into the oven at whatever temperature for whatever long. comes out looking like this
I sh1t you not this actually happened. And I ate that shiz. I ate the hell out of it.
Overall I'd give it a 2/10. 2 instead of 1 because at least it was hot enough to cover the other horrendous flavors up. The soupy nonsense sauce in the bottom of the pan made a terrible topping afterward, but added to the heat and thats actually a good thing considering the chicken boobs were dry as hell despite sitting in the liquid magma. At least I had the sense to cook them all the way.
Brutal in, brutal out.
For various reasons (meaning 'one' reason in particular) I will also post this in The Drunken Chef Thread http://thehotpepper.com/topic/9178-the-drunken-chef/
Alright, full disclosure: I was absolutely 100% blackout hammered, sh1t faced, potted, sauced, pickled, wasted, besotted, blotto, inebriated, off the wagon, pissed, plowed, and sloshed when this bit of culinary blasphemy occurred.
I didn't even remember I did this the next day until the day after when I looked in my phone and discovered I'd actually taken pictures of this damnable gourmet heresy. So with a foggy mind and a headache throbbing like a cheap subwoofer in a primer grey '98 honda civic, I began piecing together the fragments of drunken memories of the incident and approach the fridge with trepidation. Lo and behold, theres a large tupperware with a green sticky-note on the lid saying
HOT AS HELL!
I assume so nobody else would mistake it for leftovers and munch their way to the afterlife.
Removing the lid, the smell hit first. Not a bad smell, not really pleasant either, but oddly familiar. Let's just say it was obvious the sticky note wasn't lying. Whatever this heretical concoction is, it's gonna burn like the Seventh Ring. Then the sight of it. It looked like 2 islands of overcooked chicken-flesh in a sea of magma and raw sewage.
I actually ate the damned thing that night. It wasn't half bad. Wasn't half good either.
Here's my vague recollection:
Start with some glorious PBR and Wild Turkey 101. This explains everything and absolves me of any responsibility and accountability for whatever happened next whatsoever. That's what I tell myself and I never lie. Probably. I think. Much.
In a pan begin simmering a whole jar of Mrs. Renfro's ghost pepper salsa
and a 1/8 bottle of Elijah's Extreme ghost pepper and habanero sauce. That was the last of my sauce dammit
add in an unknown quantity of finely sliced red habaneros some guy at work gave me that were bitchin' hot. Probably a bunch of 'em based on how it tasted
then a whole vidalia onion, like 2 or 3 things of garlic i think, 1/3 mason jar of sliced jalapenos i got from another random guy at work, and im guessing a whole bunch of ridiculous spices and herbage based on how disarrayed my spice rack looked the next day. Probably all of them, I was blackout drunk afterall. Oh yea, and I found a ziploc bag of half a lemon so aparently I squeezed a bunch of lemon in there too because that's my drunken idea of being all "cheffy foo foo"
then add 2 barely defrosted chicken boobs to the chaos. This is aparently what it looked like on the way in
simmer for god knows how long, who cares anyway, and this happens
then the whole thing, pan included (no plastic) goes into the oven at whatever temperature for whatever long. comes out looking like this
I sh1t you not this actually happened. And I ate that shiz. I ate the hell out of it.
Overall I'd give it a 2/10. 2 instead of 1 because at least it was hot enough to cover the other horrendous flavors up. The soupy nonsense sauce in the bottom of the pan made a terrible topping afterward, but added to the heat and thats actually a good thing considering the chicken boobs were dry as hell despite sitting in the liquid magma. At least I had the sense to cook them all the way.
Brutal in, brutal out.
Salmonella Stew
God I bet that was awful coming out
Something fowl is afoot. 
This shot and the ones after it:
as that's kind of the gold standard in here!
This shot and the ones after it:… have lots o' jalapenos, but none of these are to be seen:UncleGiggles said:
What's up with that? Maybe you just downed the habs as-is? Regardless, we'll allow forUncleGiggles said:W
as that's kind of the gold standard in here!
I know you were drunk but you should always sear chicken breasts before dropping into a sauce, especially a chunky sauce, the risk for cross-contamination is great, in that raw chicken touched ingredients in the pan that may not have been brought up to temp to kill salmonella. And looks like you may have cross-contaminated with the spatula as well.
======================
Okay... done here.
You are probably fine!
======================
Okay... done here.
You are probably fine!
This thread needs resuscitation. Revival even. Or an ass-whoopin'. (Works for babies, so it's good 'nuff for threads.)
Anyone who saw my status update of a few days ago knows I cooked a corned beef brisket and complained of how salty it was. And that I decided to try turning the rest into hash to see if that couldn't salvage the leftovers - hate to throw away expensive food. Cut to tonight, when I got home later than expected. I opened the door and smelled cooked something or other cooked, but I couldn't quite make out what it was. It smelled good, at any rate. After doffing my hat and coat I asked my son if what I smelled was dinner: "Oh yeah, it's on the stove." Uh huh. There was a skillet with something in it - - another "WTF???" type of something. My son arrived in the kitchen just in time to see my gaze of consternation and turned to look at the content of the skillet. "Oh. Huh. I guess after cooling off and drying out a bit it doesn't look so good." Me: "What the …?" Son: "Well, it looks like cat vomit but it tastes ok. There are burned bits in it, but they're not bad." Me: "….????" Son: "I made the corned beef hash." Me: "… ????" Son: "Well, I put the meat into the food processor and so it got chopped up finer than I intended." Me: "…????" Son: "…and I didn't want chunks of potatoe, so I put the potatoes into the food processor, too." Me: "What else is in it?" Son: "Spices and stuff. It's ok, just eat it. Oh, and I made corn to go with it. You know - corned beef and corn." Uh huh.
So the reality is that it does taste good, even if it looks like cat puke. Cat puke with a side of corn on top:
You want spicy? I had put naga powder on the corned beef before cooking it and he added something or other more, so it's plenty spicy.
Before he said what they were, I assumed the black pieces were black beans, but no. Gotta love the burned bits. I'm telling myself they add character. Interesting is that it doesn't really taste like corned beef at all, what with the seasonings he used. Tastes more like chile, just has an "interesting" texture to it.
Anyone who saw my status update of a few days ago knows I cooked a corned beef brisket and complained of how salty it was. And that I decided to try turning the rest into hash to see if that couldn't salvage the leftovers - hate to throw away expensive food. Cut to tonight, when I got home later than expected. I opened the door and smelled cooked something or other cooked, but I couldn't quite make out what it was. It smelled good, at any rate. After doffing my hat and coat I asked my son if what I smelled was dinner: "Oh yeah, it's on the stove." Uh huh. There was a skillet with something in it - - another "WTF???" type of something. My son arrived in the kitchen just in time to see my gaze of consternation and turned to look at the content of the skillet. "Oh. Huh. I guess after cooling off and drying out a bit it doesn't look so good." Me: "What the …?" Son: "Well, it looks like cat vomit but it tastes ok. There are burned bits in it, but they're not bad." Me: "….????" Son: "I made the corned beef hash." Me: "… ????" Son: "Well, I put the meat into the food processor and so it got chopped up finer than I intended." Me: "…????" Son: "…and I didn't want chunks of potatoe, so I put the potatoes into the food processor, too." Me: "What else is in it?" Son: "Spices and stuff. It's ok, just eat it. Oh, and I made corn to go with it. You know - corned beef and corn." Uh huh.
So the reality is that it does taste good, even if it looks like cat puke. Cat puke with a side of corn on top:
You want spicy? I had put naga powder on the corned beef before cooking it and he added something or other more, so it's plenty spicy.
Before he said what they were, I assumed the black pieces were black beans, but no. Gotta love the burned bits. I'm telling myself they add character. Interesting is that it doesn't really taste like corned beef at all, what with the seasonings he used. Tastes more like chile, just has an "interesting" texture to it.
Old post but rule #1, do NOT cook frozen chicken in your stew....hard to sear that rightThe Hot Pepper said:I know you were drunk but you should always sear chicken breasts before dropping into a sauce, especially a chunky sauce, the risk for cross-contamination is great, in that raw chicken touched ingredients in the pan that may not have been brought up to temp to kill salmonella. And looks like you may have cross-contaminated with the spatula as well.
======================
Okay... done here.
You are probably fine!
Also the obvious, those are not red habsgeeme said:Something fowl is afoot.
… have lots o' jalapenos, but none of these are to be seen:
What's up with that? Maybe you just downed the habs as-is? Regardless, we'll allow for
JoynersHotPeppers said:Also the obvious, those are not red habs
Also the obvious…. when one is drunkft like that, one can call anything whatever color comes to mind at the moment.
I see what look like bits of tomato from the salsa in there, but no sign of red habs, orange pods, or any chile other than jalapeno in there. Do you? Tonight, I am cooking - no entries for this thread will be made!
Unless it is the minced dice I see, nogeeme said:
Also the obvious…. when one is drunkft like that, one can call anything whatever color comes to mind at the moment.
Tonight, I am cooking - no entries for this thread will be made!
So my son wanted some Ramen noodles and grilled cheese so he decided to google it and this is what he came up with. He came downstairs and said "Dad, can you help me cook something......"
Ramen grilled cheese with pickled hot peppers.
He said it was pretty good. I'll have to take his word for it.
Now that is crappy.
Ramen grilled cheese with pickled hot peppers.
He said it was pretty good. I'll have to take his word for it.
Now that is crappy.
Try ramen as the bun. Sure you've heard of it, it's the new rage.
-Thanksgiving 2 days away.
-Fridge full of brining turkey, and fresh ingredients for Turkey-day.
-NO DESIRE to go to the store for something else.
-Beer.
The result?...........
CHILLITO DOGS!!!
Ever wanted a chili dog really bad, but didn't have a bun? Ever used a frozen burrito instead of a bun?
......neither have I!
Here is the debauchery:
Recipe available if you happen to be crazy enough to ask.......
-Fridge full of brining turkey, and fresh ingredients for Turkey-day.
-NO DESIRE to go to the store for something else.
-Beer.
The result?...........
CHILLITO DOGS!!!
Ever wanted a chili dog really bad, but didn't have a bun? Ever used a frozen burrito instead of a bun?
......neither have I!
Here is the debauchery:
Recipe available if you happen to be crazy enough to ask.......
Holy hell
I feel sorry for your anus
I feel sorry for your anus