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Tell a dumb joke...

A man goes into the confessional box. He finds on one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days." The priest replies "Get out. You're on my side."
 
I went for an interview as a blacksmith the other day. The guy said to me "have you ever shoed a horse?" I said "no, but I once told a donkey to f*ck off."
 
Wee Scottish Tale.
A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn.
A Gamekeeper shouts, 'Dinnae drink tha waaater! Et's foo ae coo's shite an piss!'
The man replies, 'My Good fellow, I'm from England. Could you repeat that in English for me.'
The keeper replies, 'I said, use two hands - you spill less that way.
 
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