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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Click to expand...
Yeah, and kicking my arse! Holy crap. These may just be as hot as the real thing (deathmatch wings) I can't feel my bottom lip. Better get some more tequila.
 
Update:

The tequila is 86'd so now I am on to a vodka and pepper martini. No relief yet so I am in a holding pattern on the wings.
 
Well it's been awhile since I've posted ANYTHING here at THP so I figured it was time I'd drop in and post a quick shot of my jerk pork sammich. Yea I've done them before and the recipe for the jerk pork and jerk pork sammich can be found in the recipe section here at the THP, but this one is different. I cooked the roast up the other day and it was sitting in the fridge for two days. I didn't have time to do anything with it until now and didn't want it to go bad so I picked up the stuff for the sammiches on the way home. Got in and saw someone just finished cooking a chicken, but didn't use the drippings ;). See where I'm going with this?

I sliced the jerk pork as thin as I could given that I only had a knife, toasted the garlic buns, roasted the red and green bell's with some onions. Scooped out a bunch of the chicken drippins and put them in the hot pan. Boiled/fried the jerk pork slices into the hot broth and let it heat up some as well as absorb the chicken fat. Pile a bunch on a toasted bun, add a few spoons of drippins, add cheese and top with the veggies and Japanese mayo. Crazy rich. I did my best, but I powered out after a sammich and a half. So rich and juicy.

Blurry pic taken with the camera phone.... Not so good but has the required booze pic (beer in the Vancouver mug) to post in the DC.

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Much better pic taken with actual camera and showing the greasiness of the sammich! Look at the drippings on the plate.

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Man I forgot how much good food was posted in here... wings leftover t-down sammies? I'm stuffed but I'd still love to try some of all the food here!
 
I could seriously go for a big chunk 'o that sammie!

I gots some wings soaking in some Nando's marinade and Tabasco Habenero. Piccy's if I can manage :D
 
Wings in Nando's marinade with 1/4 bottle Tabasco Habanero then coated after cooking in Nando's extra hot sauce and another 1/4 of the bottle of Tab. Hab.
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Mashed taters with pickled onion finely diced, fresh grated parmesan, bacon, sour cream, salt 'n' pepper, garlic powder and onion flakes.
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Yummo
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YAY, WINGS!!!

Between all of us, I think we made a damn fine DC showing for the evening! :woohoo:

DTS, Try googling "Toastmaster Ultravection". These little babies may be the handiest ovens ever made!
 
"I must retract what I previously said about Tater Tots, they ARE great drunken food!"

Did you mouth fist yourself with the tots, its the only way to truly enjoy them!!!


Holy geez the DC is off the chain the last few days!!!!!!!!
 
DTS Those are some outragous wings!

I agree with Paulky, we tore this thread up last night. :D

Fry, yep sure did mouth fist myself and it was great! Thanks for showing me the way.
 
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