• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Click to expand...
pileiton said:
lol. Although photographic evidence of me is rarer than that of The Abonimble Snowman, he can track my whereabouts in Chicago, making you the more likely culprit!
Click to expand...
So what you're saying is that Wheebz needs to be sure to bring his camera to Chicago, and the two of you need to get together and show everyone here what a real TD/DC mess-o'-grub looks like..... we'll be looking for those pics!
 
Jay 'n Paul at Wheebz's house doin' some drunken cheffin while he's outta town.

The claivoyant in me is seeing something...

I can see a beer fountain, a 3 foot pyramid made of wings and all the cutlery is made from bacon...:lol:
 
A pyramid of wings! Now that is an idea. Don't forget the crab and lobster though. Paul doesn't cook without it. He does have quite a stash of microbrews and homebrews for us to enjoy too.
 
Hey Paul, you said to me a little bit ago that you would post some food if I did. Well, you better get cookin! I'll give you some hints, bacon, chorizo cheese dip, jalapenos, booze, Nova's Douglah powder. Pics coming soon.
 
Here you go all of you lovers of booze and food porn. This culinary masterpiece was inspired by a trip I took to Las Vegas last year. It is bacon wrapped poppers filled with a choizo cheese dip that was spiked with some of AJ's magical puree and then for a finishing touch I sprinkled some of Nova's Douglah powder on for good measure. Enjoy.

100_8141.jpg


100_8142.jpg


100_8145.jpg


100_8143.jpg


100_8147.jpg


Oh yeah and the drink is a dirty martini.

Final pick to come.
 
fail Jay

no pics of alcohol

and way to basically remake the poppers I made 2 days ago

only difference is I used jalapenos AND HABANERO'S cause I am a real man

and Pi, you bet your ass i will come visit you when I am in chicago, hell ill be there for 2 months almost
 
Wheebz EPIC FAIL. First of all, booze is in pic #1. Dirty martini.
Fail number two is that these are not the same as your poppers as this is not some shredded cheese stuffed peppers. This is chorizo cheese dip with AJ's Scorpion Puree. If you don't know the difference then I have failed in my teachings.
Fail number three is NEVER question a popper overlord. Now drop and give me twenty.
 
Jay

Epic fail

First of all, as per the coloration of pic 1, the drink in question is not a "dirty Martini", as a dirty martini is classified as Gin with olive juice, and were originally served without ice in a Martini Glass

Second of all, I used no shredded cheese in my poppers, it was pepperjack that was pre-melted by myself, and cream cheese, the same ingredients minus milk/cream that you would have in a cheese "dip"

third, ok I cant argue with the popper overlord, cause yea you still have made the best popper i have tasted to date, but learning from what you did, mine werent too far off, yet unfortunately still inferior
 
:rofl:

The words "popper" and "fail" should never be present in the same paragraph! Jay....those look incredible!! I will get off my ass and get to the grocery store this morning!!

.....now I just have to decide what to prepare........MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
 
wheebz said:
Jay

Epic fail

First of all, as per the coloration of pic 1, the drink in question is not a "dirty Martini", as a dirty martini is classified as Gin with olive juice, and were originally served without ice in a Martini Glass

Second of all, I used no shredded cheese in my poppers, it was pepperjack that was pre-melted by myself, and cream cheese, the same ingredients minus milk/cream that you would have in a cheese "dip"

third, ok I cant argue with the popper overlord, cause yea you still have made the best popper i have tasted to date, but learning from what you did, mine werent too far off, yet unfortunately still inferior
Click to expand...

Wheebz...I'm sorry but I must side with my fellow Popper Overlord. Firstly, dirty martini can be gin OR vodka. What makes it "dirty" is the olive brine juice. Therefore...FAIL!

Secondly..."pre=melted" cheese? That is some sort of SUPER FAIL in itself and also the use of cream cheese is for noobs and suckah's which garners an additional FAIL. Final score...

FAIL 3 - Wheebz 0
 
well when I mean pre-melted, I meant I took a block of pepperjack, cubed it, and melted it in the microwave and poured it into the stuffing, I didnt shred it

i dont mean I bought pre-melted cheese at the store haha

and originally, martini's were classified by the use of Gin, it wasnt until after prohibition that Vodka was used as a substitute

Nowadays, martinis can be made with anything
 
Graphic pictures of full frontal food porn
Detailed information about cocktails
Drunk people in charge of dangerous cooking implements
Epic failing all over the place
and... Chilli peppers

This thread has everything !

:cheers:
 
Yesssssss...........

It most certainly does.

I think I'm going try my hand at carnitas tonight. :woohoo:

EDIT: This looks like more of a weekend deal to me. I'll do'em this Friday.

I'm thinking sammiches tonight.......
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top