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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
I've never seen that kind of tequila. Is it good? Do you have any pictures of the girl? That tortellini looks good.
 
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I copied the error message and ran it through the translator. So when you translate it you get the error message as the translation.
 
Bwahahahahaha.... Dude, you just overpaid out the ying yang for a box of blush vino that barely qualifies as wine. How could your choice of tequila be any better? :rofl:

ohh I knew what I was buying before I bought it with the wine

with the tequila, it was kind of a last minute grab as I was walking to the counter
 
Here we go...
Start this Thanksgiving with Mamossa's. Sabred style!

One of these to set me right, then I start bonin my Turkey.

You don't de-shell peanuts,
You don't de-skin a deer,
You don't de-schuck ann oyster,
You gots to bone yer Turkey!

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to be continued....
 
Uh Oh! Fair warning to everyone....STAY AWAY FROM THE METHOW TODAY!

Scovie's boning his turkey and SL's smokin-


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OJ for breakfast-
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(OOPS! How'd that bottle get in there? )
 
Happy T-Day everyone!!! It takes Scovie bonin' his turkey for me to get a chance to say "Hi!"!!!

G - he's got champagne juju today!!!!

SL - Smokin' & Drinkin'???? You party animal!!! Point a fan thisaway so I can smell that awesomeness!!!!!! All I smell so far is snow comin'. bleh.

Cheers y'all! Have a blast and laugh hard, eat well, and make some great memories. I have alot to be thankful for this year...especially my THP fam!!!!!http://www.thehotpepper.com/public/style_emoticons/default/dancingpepper.gif
 
Here's the recipe I'm sort-of following for a smoked turkey.

http://www.amazingribs.com/recipes/chicken_turkey_duck/ultimate_smoked_turkey.html

Basically, you put a broth under the turkey in the smoker so all the turkey dripping go into the broth, which will be used later for gravy. Here's the broth, getting started-
turkey juices from the turkey package, neck and skin trimmings, onion, carrot, celery, fresh herbs, a pinck of dried congo chiles, 1 cup apple juice, water. No salt yet as it will get some salt from the "enhanced" turkey juices. Can always add salt at the end.

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Cook up the gravy stuff. Now, the dilemma....The pan that will fit into the smoker is a little aluminum pan but it won't hold all the gravy sauce that has to go under the turkey. Solution- double pan!
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We'll see if it actually works...


The turkey, rubbed with oil and herbs under the skin and all over the outside.
1/2 Hot-
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1/2 Not-
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It's 32F outside right now, so I have the smoker on High to try and get the temp up to 325F. I'll probably bring it in to the oven after 1- 1/2 hours. Right now....sip and click, amigos!
 
geeme, bummer on the OJ, too much acid for you?

Aaron, how you feeling this morning after Megan's b-day?

Mornin', CJ! Salsakid is still in bed at 11:30 am.....:sheesh: kids!
 
Lookin good SL! looking forward to seeing the finished product!

speaking of THANKSgiving. Thanks guys,
When ever I feel like it might be too early to start drinkin..
You guys make me feel so much better about it :lol:

:beer:
 
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