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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Thanks y'all!

By the way....did you see how RED Retta's face was gettin'?

There was smoke comin' out her ears by the time she was finished! She said the corn was hurting her badly....but tasted so good that she just couldn't stop eating it.

We've all been there!! :rofl:
 
And now for your culinary and drunken entertainment pleasure ya'll....

Crab cakes w/hollandaise, sauteed asparagus, and shitaki shrooms. I used the canned blue swimmer crab which is pretty standard. It was labeled "claw" but the fact jack is that it is chopped crab with some claws...booo. Still tasty stuff though. For the cakes, I took teh crab and added, shallot, garlic, fresno, pequin, and pickled 'peno. Then squeezins 'o lime and lemon, splooge of my hab sauce, cracked an egg, and added bread crumbs. Whirred and stirred, formed teh cakes, and then into teh cast iron with canola oil.

Meantime I prepped the hollandaisse...sorry no pics of that as if you take pics while doing it...recipe for disaster. Let us go straight to the mayhem and chaos....

A little tequila sunrise mojofication...

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Some party attendee's...

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I pity the fool that don't eat veggies...

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Bringin' teh hotness....

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More comin' ya'll.....
 
This stuff makes its own foo foo.....

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One last money shot....

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Decadent, spicy, and righteous ya'll. Just remember to "sip" the Samiclaus....I pity the fool that drinks it like a normal brewhaha....
 
Novacastrian said:
Lay it on us oh King of culinary delights!

mrs.blues wants halibut on the grill with sweet thai chile cream sauce...but I'm not hip on the butt tonight. I have small bay scallops and some huge prawns but not decided what to do 'wit 'em yet.
Got to run to the grocery and pickup some h20 and hosky.....
 
texas blues said:
mrs.blues wants halibut on the grill with sweet thai chile cream sauce...but I'm not hip on the butt tonight. I have small bay scallops and some huge prawns but not decided what to do 'wit 'em yet.
Got to run to the grocery and pickup some h20 and hosky.....

Stir-fry the scallops and broil the prawns with a nice dry rub.

Then dip them in that wonderful Walkerswood sauce I was telling you about....;)
 
paulky_2000 said:
Stir-fry the scallops and broil the prawns with a nice dry rub.

Then dip them in that wonderful Walkerswood sauce I was telling you about....;)

I have a chunk of salmon now too....first 'thangs first...got to do mrs. blues fish and sauce...but even before that.....

Tequila Sunrise!
 
Knocked out mrs. blues butt....with teh thai chile cream sauce first...(no pun intended..stop with teh jokes already...)

Butter, garlic, sauteed and then added the thai sweet chile sauce, then cream....reduce, reduce, reduce!!

Grilled the butt...

A little tequila sunrise and butt to start....

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mrs. blues grabbed some crusty french bread, the butt, slapped it on a plate, splooged it with teh sauce and mowed it in less than 4.3 seconds...its that frikkin' good...just aks Jay!!

Cheers ya'll!

More piccy's 'o 'da real stuff manana....boxing's on hbo...gotta' split....
 
geez... no point in taking pic's! It didn't last on the plate that long! so apparently THAT cat is out of the bag (i'm no freakin' lady) eh? at least I sat down before shoveling it in my face! :D it actually took a bit longer than 4.3 seconds to devour, but it is probably one of my most favorite of TB's creations (right behind Filet and King Crab)! I could literally take a bath in that sauce! Kudo's honey!
 
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