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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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thirdcoasttx said:
I learned the hard way to purge them. The first time I did crawfish it was absolutely terrible. If you purge and wash the crap out of em they are damn good!
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I reckon I never had the right guy that knew what he was doin' cook em'. 
 
Yeah my first time I cooked 130 bucks worth of crawfish that tasted like dirt, complete with the grit and all. I've got a perty good idea what I'm doin now.
 
Yeah man their tract is full of mud and parasites purging is a must. TB, sounds like you met a couple of Cajuns that don't mind the essence of bayou. :lol: Wonder how Phil does 'em.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
... essence of bayou. :lol:  Wonder how Phil does 'em.
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:rofl:
 
I grew up just a stone's throw from Armand Bayou, but I guarantee we knew good and well how to clean shrimp, crawfish, crab, etc. (It is also very close to Kemah, where shrimp boats at least used to dock - not sure if they still do any more.) No "essence of bayou" was ever found on our plates! Of course, Phil being from Louisiana and all..... ;)
 
 
(Just ribbin' ya, Phil!)
 
the saltwater purge is more of a myth than anything. 
 
LSU published a study awhile back finding 
 
e said one of the myths involves using salt to clean or purge crawfish before boiling. “Research at the LSU AgCenter has shown that the addition of salt to the wash water provides no significant advantage in cleansing crawfish despite the numerous claims to the contrary.”
Washing crawfish for as little as 10 minutes in water helps remove mud and debris but does little to eliminate intestinal wastes, he said, and salt appears to be of no benefit.
“The only way to significantly reduce size and content of the intestinal tract is with a 12- to 24-hour freshwater purge, which is difficult and impractical for homeowners to do.”
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I was back down in Louisiana this past weekend and got to go over to my favorite crawfish joint in Monroe, Cormier's. talked to the guys there and they don't use a saltwater purge at all either. Said they generally do a 12-18 hour cycle in circulating fresh water and that does the trick. best crawfish in north Louisiana.
 
 
that LSU study also made note that the old practice of not eating a crawfish with a straight tail had no basis in truth either. 
 
I don't know where this post belongs. 
All I know is I been drankin all damn afternoon, and I made something good. 
Wanted to post in crappy food...or pizza...or last spicy meal...f**k it, I been drankin Busch Lights. 
 
Yesterday, my boy and I snacked on some fried chicken from the grocery store. We only ate a few pieces. 
Today, I made pizza for the kids, and figured I'd scrounge for myself. 
Took the leftover dough, shredded up some leftover fried chicken, cayenne sauce, pickled japs, pepperoni, mozzarella, folded like a calzone, topped with olive oil and garlic salt. And a bunch of SoFLo signature Busch Light. 
 
It was really good. 
 
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Nice calzone! Yup, calzones are just pizzas folded in half... and dats a winner.
 
After reading the first description I was thinking crappy thread! But looking at that last pic you made the right choice! I'm half drunk and I would eat the shit out of that calzone!
 
I'd totally slam that when in a drunken stupor….. otherwise I avoid pepperoni.  :P
 
I'm still scratching my head tho … you made pizza for the kids and there was leftover dough?!?! My son used to scarf pizza (and managed to keep looking like a stick…) like there would never be another pizza on the planet again. Even frozen he'd eat half at one sitting. Fresh? Fuggetaboutit!  :lol:
 
Had a SoFlo Sunday of lounging by the pool under the chickee, sippin' on lite beer, and playing with fire. Man stuff.
 
Had to see what all this hoopla about rice flour was about. So we did some JayT-ing with some buffaloed pork wings.
 
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Damn fine vittles. Crispy. Held the sauce well. Rice flour might be the shizzle.
 
But the real meal was the hickory smoked country style ribs. Hit that up with a RocketMan habapeno based dry rub. 
 
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Chopped and placed on some garlic cheese topped Texas Toast. Then topped with a JHP inspired SoFlo marinated pork wig and some SoFlo Man Gravyesque sauce. (Clear that up FD.)
 
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BOOSH

Wait... are we calling habapeno powder Buckaneer Powder now, RM?
 
Yeah, we put a metric shit-ton of whatever it's called on that pork. Good stuff.
 
Yes sir, and I use that term loosely, it is now called Bucaneer and y'all have shown an awesome use of it!

Humm, rice flour, not just for Moo Sho Pork pancakes anymore :)
 
Sum is performing miracles up in here.
 
Look at the first pic y'all.
 
Its a levitatin' pork wing!
 
Game changer and possible new religious cult idol.
 
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