Joint-efforts are welcome as long as it remains your vision, if she's the baker, just have a small part of that process and then get out of the way, but be a part somehow. Or enter two plates ha. It's July 4th weekend no one is going to say you can't cook with your loved ones....
I think you and the scorpress should do 2 plates! Certain proteins could be prepped one way for presentation another and so forth! Or 2 different days. Etc.
Mmmm.... It's been years since I've made my grandma's potato salad. It always surprises me that no one ever seems to have seen potato salad done the way she did it.
Yeah, wheebz, over-the-top isn't always best; sometimes traditional/comfort wins. Besides, we all win when we get to eat what we want to!