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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
That dog seems concerned that she's about to get hit by an orange-clove flavored Molotov cocktail.
Look at her face! Priceless!

Don't do it!

But if you do, dont take pictures.
This is how I want to remember her face.
 
Hey sc77!!

Y'all are getting DRUNK tonight! Wooooooooooo!

J, get us an update on wheebz

Yeah ... I'll produce cad and cnc programs to cut over 100 homes worth of stone this upcoming week (new record), and tonight is to be my only night off really ... so, yeah, basically ...

That dog seems concerned that its about to get hit by an orange-clove flavored Molotov cocktail.
Look at his face! Priceless!

Don't do it!

But if you do, dont take pictures.
This is how I want to remember his face.

Poor, poor Terra doggie ... later she'll think I'm hurting mommy again, too.

You know I'm serious about shit when I just go to the pyrex cup ...

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Such a nice handle so as not to slip, hardly breakable, and a little spout to help ensure it doesn't run out of the corners of my mouth ...

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I don't even know what this drink is, or if anyone else would drink it ... but hey, there's Florida Meyer lemon liqueur so ...

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Dinner's almost ready ... I don't even know if I'm hungry anymore ...

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I'll drink to that!

Tbs baby turned 500!!!!

Scotch on the rocks. Relatively cheap JW red label.

(Screw you, that's how I like it!)
 
So the story goes, this cheese is from the area in France where they make wine and hunt boar and do some shit w/ the grape leaves ... and apparently it pairs well w/ pork ... so Imma pressure cook and pull a Boston butt tomorrow in honor of Ms. Pork Butt and see what this schneeze is all about ...

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woohoo, page 500! I'm drunkft and I'm eating stupidly hot Bánh hoi with Chinese BBQ pork and all sorts of herbs that don't have an English name. But no pics, so didn't happen. Try telling that to my arse tomorrow when this stuff has gotta exit! :D
 
Wow that looked like an entertaining evening you had there Grant. Curry looked great.

You know, man, the curry came out phenomenally well ... probably because the important decisions were made early on ... and then it simmered long time while dranky happened ...

It was HOT, damn hot, seriously hot ... made my mouth practically hurt hot ... which made it all the more priceless each time S77 said "it's not that hot, is it hot?" while trying to maintain her fix and follow ...

It was a true DC experience, fo shizzle ...

Terra decided to roll around in some other animal's pile or something nasty this morning, so this is how S77's day is getting started ...

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I've heard of alot of hangover cures.....

But what she's doing is NOT one of them!!!!!

Poor S77....her day can only get better from there! :)
 
let me let everyone in on a little secret,,if you never stop drinking you will never have a hangover. hope papa sic could help ;)
 
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