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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
would make for some killer leftovers too. watcha got planned for it?


Funny you should ask.....

Something Stupid This Way Comes:

Here I have 5 cheese-filled and grilled hotdogs:

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Buttered bread, muenster cheese, and a griddle:

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Grilled cheese sammiches:

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Stack'em on the red-neck china:

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Add the hotdogs....

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Oh yeah.....and the CHILI:

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A tiny tiny bit of habanero cheddar:

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....some diced onion and Biohazard powder for S&G:

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TA-DA!!!!

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I can't wait to see what kind of messed-up dreams I have tonight!!! :rofl:
 
:



TA-DA!!!!



I can't wait to see what kind of messed-up dreams I have tonight!!! :rofl:

Now that a cheezy squeezy tasty lookin mess along with an appropriate beverage. I think by the AM you'll be dreamin of the turlit

When I do chili this week there will definately be pics
 
practicing for the Wing Dome challenge-

sneaking a little Red Blend powder into the sauce, not too much though-
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My bowl of 'sketti with bhut powder on the left and red blend on the right-
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Mmmmmm, hot, but still not hot enough. So for seconds, there's about 1/2 cup of sauce, 1/2 teaspoon bhut powder and a few noodles.

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now, THAT was hot!

Don't worry, the wine was there fo'sho!
 
I guess I have been gone longer than thought.....WOW!!! :shocked: This thread has picked up in the past week for sure! You guys have been really kicking it up in here. :clap: :woohoo: That was some killer food I see in past several pages. :onfire:
 
Okay....

I have no idea why I'm posting this. If the last two entries didn't warrant..........

....................nevermind. :shame:

This post is out of habit.....not an encore.

The last of the chili.....over spicy sausages:

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I'm going to eat and finish my beer.
 
I'll say this again....AMAZING!!!! HOT DAMN, FINGER LICK'N GOOD!!! Paulky, you are the chili dog king! :woohoo: Also, you are on fire in this thread lately. I'm thinking I need to get cooking and throw some of my own mojo up in here. :D
 
Double posting of chile dogs? Post whoring at its finest. I can dig it.....too bad I can't eat it. I assure yall I am drinking wine but don't challenge me on this.......I'll post veggie pics to piss yall off!....I mean it!!!
 
Double posting of chile dogs? Post whoring at its finest. I can dig it.....too bad I can't eat it. I assure yall I am drinking wine but don't challenge me on this.......I'll post veggie pics to piss yall off!....I mean it!!!


I admire your focus and dedication.

How about I cook you dinner to celebrate?
 
OMG :eek: How can you eat that chilli dog mound!? My bowels would get up in the night and start beating me with a stick if I tried to eat all that in one sitting.
 
I hear you Megamoo, the chili looks great but I doubt I could eat that mountain over the course of a whole day. The double dog shot however, looks the goods. Nice Paulky.
 
I hear you Megamoo, the chili looks great but I doubt I could eat that mountain over the course of a whole day. The double dog shot however, looks the goods. Nice Paulky.

I choose not to eat that at this time due to diet and weightloss constraints however.....I overheard my boss one day say to a guy one time...."DUDE...take your right hand, reach down inside your pants and grab your junk and MAN THE FU#% UP!!" If'n I was so inclined...I'd put that plate in a feedbag around my head! Paul for the WIN!!
 
I'd put that plate in a feedbag around my head! Paul for the WIN!!


Thank you!!!

Last night's dinner represents the 5th day stuck in the house with the twins. They've had no school all week, and we're all going a little stir-crazy. So, instead of feeding them chili for the 5th straight day......

....we did Mexican night:

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This is the meat filling. 2 pounds ground beef, two packs of taco seasoning (one hot, one original), a whole finely-diced onion, a packet of HSL's Texas Creek Chipotle mix, and about 2/3 of a beer

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The beans....one can refried beans, 3 chipotles in adobo (well chopped), garlic, two tablespoons of hot Pace, and a packet of Sazon Goya:

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The rice.....one pack of mexican style rice and fresh tomato juice:

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............to be continued.
 
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